Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise, correct grammar (tense and articles), and avoid unclear words. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then add one specific detail. Use linking words (e.g., because, so) correctly.

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child because they were safe places where I could play with friends. For example, there was a small playground near my house where we spent hours playing tag and learning to ride bikes.

提案: Use correct verb forms and reduce repetition. Begin with a clear present-tense sentence, then give two concise supporting details linked logically (e.g., because/so). Avoid trailing fragments.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they are great places for family time. For example, I often play hide-and-seek with my son and we have picnics there, which helps us relax and bond.

提案: Correct subject-verb agreement and avoid vague phrases like “durable and special natural resources.” Give a clear reason and one specific example of what you would do in new parks. Use linking words (because/so) properly.

例: Yes, I would like more parks in the city because green spaces improve residents' wellbeing. For instance, I would visit new parks to walk nature trails and teach my children about local plants and birds.

提案: Use accurate expressions (e.g., “I’ve heard about it”) and correct article use (“an educational”). Keep sentences clear and limit to about three sentences with linking words (because, so, for example). Provide a specific reason and expected outcome.

例: Yes, I want to visit Hong Kong Wetland Park because I have never been there and I’ve heard it is rich in birdlife. For example, we could go on birdwatching walks and learn about wetland ecosystems, which would be both educational and relaxing for my family.

× Yes, I like going to the parks when I was a child because there's have a special place for me to play with my friends and learn, and writing is such a fun place for children to relax.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks when I was a child because there was a special place for me to play with my friends and learn, and playing was such a fun way for children to relax.

Tense inconsistency: The sentence mixes present tense 'I like' with past time 'when I was a child'. Use past tense 'liked'. 'There's have' is ungrammatical; use past 'there was'. 'the parks' is unnecessary; use plural 'parks' or 'parks' without 'the'. 'writing' is likely a mistake for 'playing'; changed to 'playing' and adjusted phrase to 'a fun way' for clarity.

× Yes, I'm now still enjoy going to the parks because there is also a special place for me to go there with my family and create our quality family time.

✓ Yes, I still enjoy going to parks now because there is also a special place for me to go with my family and spend quality family time.

Incorrect verb form: 'I'm now still enjoy' mixes auxiliary and main verb incorrectly; use 'I still enjoy' or 'I am still enjoying'. 'the parks' unnecessary article; use 'parks' or 'the park' depending on meaning. 'go there with my family' is wordy; 'go with my family' is clearer. 'create our quality family time' is unnatural; use 'spend quality family time'.

× And I will play hide and seek with my son in the park and we also have a picnic there.

✓ I will play hide-and-seek with my son in the park and we will also have a picnic there.

Mixed present and future: The sentence begins with future 'I will' but then uses present 'we also have'. Make both clauses consistent in future: 'we will also have'. Also use hyphenated compound 'hide-and-seek' and remove leading 'And' for formality.

× So it's a special place which.

✓ So it's a special place.

Incomplete clause: 'which' makes the sentence a fragment expecting a relative clause. Remove 'which' to form a complete sentence or complete the relative clause (e.g., 'which I always enjoy').

× Yes, I would like to explore more parks in my city.

✓ Yes, I would like to explore more parks in my city.

No grammatical error detected relevant to the provided list; sentence is correct. Included to show no change needed.

× Hong Kong is a special place, have a durable and special natural resources, so I would like to explore more parks and explore the nature with my family together in the future.

✓ Hong Kong is a special place and has abundant natural resources, so I would like to explore more parks and enjoy nature with my family in the future.

Grammar and word choice: 'have' should be 'has' to agree with singular subject 'Hong Kong' (subject-verb agreement). 'a durable and special natural resources' is ungrammatical: 'natural resources' is plural so remove 'a' and use 'abundant' or 'valuable' instead of 'durable and special'. 'explore the nature' is unnatural; use 'enjoy nature' or 'explore nature'. Removed redundant 'together' and moved 'in the future' to natural position.

× Yes, I want to visit Hong Kong Wetland Park in the future because I've never been there and I heard it.

✓ Yes, I want to visit Hong Kong Wetland Park in the future because I've never been there and I've heard about it.

Missing object and inconsistent tense: 'I heard it' is incomplete; use 'I've heard about it' or 'I heard about it' to indicate second-hand information. Present perfect 'I've never been' is correct for experience up to now; keep that tense.

× We can see a lot of birds and explore the nature and create quality time with my family, and I believe it will be a educational and meaningful visit.

✓ We can see a lot of birds, explore nature, and spend quality time with my family, and I believe it will be an educational and meaningful visit.

Preposition and article errors: 'explore the nature' should be 'explore nature' (no 'the'). 'create quality time' is unnatural; use 'spend quality time'. Article error: 'a educational' should be 'an educational' because 'educational' begins with a vowel sound. Also use commas to separate list items.