Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammatical errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Correct verb forms and word choice (e.g. 'loved', 'there weren’t many parks', 'we walked/rode 3–4 kilometers to the only park').

例: I loved going to parks as a child. In my small hometown Sankasawa in eastern Nepal there weren’t many parks, so we used to walk about three to four kilometres to the nearest one. I enjoyed going there with my parents because we could relax and play games together.

提案: Organize the answer: give a clear topic sentence, then specific details and use linking words (e.g. 'for example', 'also'). Fix grammar and vocabulary: 'I still love going to parks. Recently I visited the Garden of Frames, which is three kilometres from my home. It has many flowers, a small museum and art displays.' Avoid filler words like 'uh' and unnecessary questions at the end.

例: I still enjoy going to parks. For example, I recently visited the Garden of Frames, which is about three kilometres from my home; it has a variety of flowers, a small museum and outdoor art. I went there with friends and we took some nice photos, so I often visit parks to relax and socialise.

提案: Be direct and use clear examples and linking words. Begin with a concise opinion, then explain with specific reasons and comparison: mention existing 'exercise parks' vs desired 'gardens' and why. Use better phrasing: 'accessible', 'scenic', 'garden-style parks'.

例: Yes, I would like more parks in my city. Currently most public spaces are exercise parks, but I would prefer more garden-style, scenic parks with flowers and benches because they encourage families to relax and improve the city's appearance.

提案: Make the answer specific and grammatically correct. Start with a direct statement naming the park or city, then give reasons with linking words. Replace vague phrases with concrete activities or sights (e.g. 'Golden Gate Park in San Francisco — I want to see its gardens, museums and lakes').

例: Yes, I would like to visit Golden Gate Park in San Francisco in the future. It has famous gardens, museums and places for outdoor activities, and I have dreamed of exploring its trails and visiting the botanical gardens since childhood.

× 'Yes, I love to go to the parks.'

✓ 'Yes, I loved going to parks.'

'Love' in present conflicts with the past context 'When I was a child'. Use past tense 'loved' and gerund 'going' for habitual past actions. Suggestion: match verb tense to time frame and use gerund after 'love' when speaking about activities.'

× 'So that place doesn't contains much park.'

✓ 'So that place didn't contain many parks.'

'Place' is singular so 'doesn't contain' is correct form for present but context is past (used to live), so use past 'didn't contain'. Also 'park' should be plural 'parks' and 'much' used with uncountable nouns; use 'many' for countable nouns.'

× 'So I after like 3-4 kilometer of our house, we got parked there.'

✓ 'So I, after walking about 3–4 kilometers from our house, went to the park there.'

Original mixes wrong verbs and forms. 'Got parked' is incorrect for people arriving; use 'went to the park' or 'reached the park'. Use past tense 'walked' or 'went' and plural 'kilometers'. Clarify sequence: 'after walking about 3–4 kilometers from our house, we went to the park.' Suggestion: use clear past verbs and correct distance expression.'

× 'So I would love to go there with my parents and.'

✓ 'So I would love to go there with my parents.'

Sentence ends with conjunction 'and' but no continuation; remove trailing 'and' to complete the sentence. Also 'would love' in a past narrative is acceptable for habitual enjoyment, but 'loved' could be used. Suggest finishing clauses fully.'

× 'I still love going to parks. Chill now, uh, The recent park I've been is the Garden of Frames, uh, it is 3 kilometer away from my home.'

✓ 'I still love going to parks. Recently, I visited the Garden of Frames; it is 3 kilometers away from my home.'

Use 'Recently' rather than 'The recent park I've been' and past simple 'visited' or present perfect 'I've visited'. Use 'kilometers' plural and correct punctuation. Suggest using 'Recently, I visited' for clarity.'

× 'It contains various flowers and beautiful museum and arts things.'

✓ 'It has various flowers and a beautiful museum and artworks.'

Use 'has' or 'contains' is okay but 'museum' needs an article 'a', and 'arts things' is vague; use 'artworks' or 'art exhibits'. Preposition 'of' not needed. Suggest specific nouns and correct articles.'

× 'we clicked some pretty good picture too.'

✓ 'we took some pretty good pictures too.'

'Clicked' is informal and nonstandard for 'took photos' in this context; use 'took pictures'. 'Picture' should be plural 'pictures' to match 'some'. Suggest using 'took some nice photos.'

× 'So I love going parks till now when?'

✓ 'So I love going to parks even now.'

Missing preposition 'to' after 'going' and awkward 'till now when?' Remove 'when?' which is unclear. Use 'even now' or 'still' for present continuation.'

× 'I would love to see more parks in my city whether it is a physical accessible park or the one where we can enjoy the scenery feel.'

✓ 'I would love to see more parks in my city, whether they are physically accessible parks or places where we can enjoy the scenery.'

Agreement and article issues: 'it is' should match plural 'parks' -> 'they are'. 'Physical accessible' incorrect order and form; use 'physically accessible'. 'Scenery feel' is awkward; use 'enjoy the scenery'. Suggest combine with comma and parallel structure.'

× 'However, I do believe there are some parks but it's more of like working out parks in my city.'

✓ 'However, I believe there are some parks, but they are mostly exercise parks in my city.'

Awkward phrasing 'more of like' and 'working out parks' — use 'mostly exercise parks'. Replace 'it's' with 'they are' to agree with plural 'parks'. Suggest clearer, parallel structure.'

× 'So I'd love to see more beautiful gardening type of park.'

✓ 'So I'd love to see more gardens or garden-style parks.'

'Beautiful gardening type of park' is ungrammatical; use 'garden-style parks' or 'parks with beautiful gardens'. Suggest noun forms that are natural.'

× 'There are various steps to park and want to go into the future.'

✓ 'There are various parks I want to visit in the future.'

Original sentence is confused: 'steps to park' is wrong. Use 'parks I want to visit' and future intent 'in the future'. Suggest clear verb 'visit' for locations.'

× 'The one that's San Francisco, it's been a dream of mine since I was really a child.'

✓ 'The one is San Francisco; it has been a dream of mine since I was a child.'

Use 'The one is San Francisco' or 'That is San Francisco'. 'It's been' -> 'it has been' is fine but expand 'really a child' -> 'a child'. Suggest concise phrasing.'

× 'Like you can see the intense of going there, playing all those fun games and activities.'

✓ 'You can imagine how excited I am to go there and play all those fun games and activities.'

'Can see the intense' is incorrect; use 'imagine how excited I am' to express emotion. Match tense/modal: 'can imagine' plus present. Suggest natural collocation 'play games and enjoy activities.'

× 'I think it's really beautiful and I hope I can visit there soon.'

✓ 'I think it's really beautiful and I hope I can visit it soon.'

Use 'visit it' or 'visit there' is nonstandard — 'visit it' refers to the city/park. Tense/modal 'hope I can' is acceptable. Suggest 'visit there' -> 'go there' if preferred.