Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Сформулируйте тему сразу и используйте связные предложения. Укажите причину четко и исправьте грамматические ошибки (артикли, согласование времен, порядок слов). Дайте 2–3 короткие поддерживающие детали, избегая повторов.

例: Not really. I didn’t often go to parks as a child because I grew up in a village where our family land was surrounded by trees, so we played outdoors at home instead. For example, I used to climb trees and run in the fields with my friends, so visiting a formal park didn’t seem necessary.

提案: Дайте четкое вступление и используйте связки для логики (например, "since", "because", "so"). Избегайте заполнителей вроде "uh" и повторов ("unwind my mind" + "clear it" слишком похожи). Добавьте одну конкретная деталь о том, что вы там делаете.

例: Yes, I do. Since I moved to the city, visiting parks has become part of my daily routine because they help me relax after study. For instance, I go to a nearby park after my tutor classes to walk and read for thirty minutes, which helps me clear my mind and feel refreshed.

提案: Отвечайте прямо и формально (avoid "wanna"). Используйте связки причинно-следственной связи ("because", "so") и приведите конкретное предложение или пример, как парки помогут (например, улучшение качества воздуха, места для отдыха).

例: Yes, I would. Because air pollution in Tashkent is quite high, creating more parks would help improve air quality and provide green spaces for residents. For example, planting trees along busy roads and building small neighborhood parks could reduce dust and give people safe places to exercise.

提案: Начните с прямого ответа, затем уточните цель и время. Устраните повторы и грамматические ошибки (артикли, предлоги, будущее время). Добавьте конкретную информацию о том, почему вы хотите посетить этот парк.

例: Yes, definitely. I would love to visit Central Park in New York because I have heard a lot about its size and attractions. When I go to university there, I plan to walk around the park, visit the lakes and museums, and take photos of the landscapes.

× Actually not.

✓ Not really.

The response 'Actually not.' is grammatically short and unnatural in this context; using 'Not really.' sounds more natural and idiomatic for answering the question. Suggestion: use a short negative phrase that fits spoken English.

× The reason why is I lived in village where our old land are surrounded by trees and in my hometown was parked for me.

✓ The reason is that I lived in a village where our land was surrounded by trees, and there was no park in my hometown.

Multiple sentence structure problems: missing article ('a village'), incorrect verb agreement ('are' -> 'was'), awkward phrase 'old land', and missing subject for 'was parked for me'. Also 'the reason why is' should be 'the reason is that'. Suggestion: break into clear clauses, add articles, correct verb tense and agreement, and use 'no park' to express absence.

× As I moved from village to city, I just, uh, love parks and it became kind of routine for me.

✓ After I moved from the village to the city, I really loved parks and it became a kind of routine for me.

Tense inconsistency: 'As I moved' implies past action, so 'love' should be past 'loved' to match, and 'became' is past which is correct. Also need articles: 'the village', 'the city'. Suggestion: keep past tense consistently when referring to change that happened.

× I always go to the park after my tutor classes and this really helps me to unwind my mind and clear it.

✓ I always go to the park after my tutoring classes, and this really helps me to unwind and clear my mind.

'Tutor classes' is better as 'tutoring classes' (noun form), and 'unwind my mind and clear it' has awkward word order; common collocations are 'unwind' and 'clear my mind'. Use parallel structure and correct noun forms.

× I would love to see more parks in my city cause in Tashkent our air pollution is really high and to decrease the level of air pollution I wanna see a lot of parks in my hometown.

✓ I would love to see more parks in my city because in Tashkent our air pollution is really high, and to reduce air pollution I want to see many parks in my hometown.

Colloquial 'cause' and 'wanna' are informal; use 'because' and 'want to'. 'Decrease the level of air pollution' is wordy; 'reduce air pollution' is natural. Use 'many parks' rather than 'a lot of parks' for more formal clarity. Suggestion: avoid slang in formal spoken answers and use precise verbs.

× Definitely there are.

✓ Definitely, there are.

Minor word order/punctuation: commonly 'Definitely, there are.' or better 'Definitely there are some.' But the original lacks a follow-up; include comma for clarity. Suggestion: add a noun after 'there are' when possible.

× I would love to go to New York and the main park located in heart of the New York City and I'm trying my best to go there and explore it whenever I will go there to study in university.

✓ I would love to go to New York and visit the main park located in the heart of New York City. I'm trying my best to go there to study at university and explore it when I get the chance.

Long run-on sentence with tense and article errors: 'located in heart of the New York City' needs articles and prepositions: 'in the heart of New York City'. 'Whenever I will go there' is incorrect future-in-time; use 'when I go' or 'when I get the chance'. 'Study in university' should be 'study at university'. Suggestion: split into two sentences, fix articles and prepositions, and use appropriate future/time expressions.