Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more fluent and avoid repetition; give a clear topic sentence and a brief specific detail. Use linking words if adding details. Also correct small grammar issues (e.g., tense and word order).

例: Yes, I liked going to parks as a child. I used to go there almost every day after school to play football with my friends, which helped me relax and stay active.

提案: Answer directly and use a smooth explanation with correct grammar. Combine reasons using linking words (for example, 'because' and 'also') and be specific about what you mean by 'work' and 'air pollution'. Keep it within a few sentences.

例: Not really, because I am very busy with work and study these days, and I also worry about the recent increase in air pollution, which makes outdoor activities less pleasant.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence and then add specific benefits of more parks using linking words (for example, 'because' and 'so'). Avoid repetition and minor grammar errors (e.g., 'there is no place').

例: Yes, I would. I think more parks would be great because there are few public spaces now, so people would have places to walk, exercise, and meet friends.

提案: Be more precise: state whether you have a specific park or not, then explain why. Use linking words ('because' or 'so') and correct small mistakes ('park' and reduce repetition). Provide a brief specific example if possible.

例: I don't have a particular park in mind, because any nearby park would do — I just want a quiet place where I can exercise or relax, for example a park with a running path and some shady benches.

× Yes I did. I always, well I always went to parks when I when I after school.

✓ Yes, I did. I always went to parks after school.

The original sentence repeats phrases and contains extra words ('when I when I') that make it ungrammatical. The tense 'went' is correct for past habitual actions, but remove the redundancy and unnecessary 'when' before 'after school' to produce a clear past-tense statement. Suggestion: keep a single past tense verb and a concise time expression ("I always went to parks after school").

× No, I don't because there there are so many work need to do every day and the air pollution is serious recently.

✓ No, I don't, because there is so much work to do every day and the air pollution has been serious recently.

Multiple issues: subject-verb agreement and countability (use 'there is' with uncountable 'work'), incorrect quantifier ('many' -> 'much'), missing infinitive marker ('need to do' should be 'to do' after 'work'), and tense for 'recently' (present perfect 'has been' fits ongoing recent state). Also remove duplicate 'there'. Suggestion: use 'there is so much work to do' and 'has been serious recently' for clarity and correct grammar.

× Of course, because here is no no place I can talk, take a walk or do some exercise.

✓ Of course, because there is no place here where I can talk, take a walk, or do any exercise.

Incorrect word order and duplicate 'no'. Standard English uses 'there is' to introduce existence and places 'here' after or before with a relative clause: 'there is no place here where I can...'. Also use 'any exercise' for general activity and add commas in the list. Suggestion: use 'there is no place here where I can...' for correct structure.

× I think there is no specific big part I want to go because every park can can let me do exercise or make me relax.

✓ I don't have any specific large park I want to go to, because every park lets me exercise or relax.

Multiple errors: 'part' is incorrect word (should be 'park'); duplicate 'can'; verb phrase 'can let me do exercise' is awkward — use 'lets me exercise'; 'make me relax' -> 'relax' or 'help me relax'. Also tense/modal adjustments: present simple 'lets' fits general truth. Suggestion: use 'I don't have any specific large park I want to go to' or 'There is no specific large park I want to go to' and 'every park lets me exercise or relax'.