Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Bạn nên trả lời trực tiếp hơn, sửa ngữ pháp cơ bản và cung cấp chi tiết cụ thể hơn. Cần dùng câu chủ đề rõ ràng, dùng thì phù hợp (quá khứ) và liên kết logic bằng liên từ (because, so). Ví dụ nêu rõ nơi bạn sống, lý do có ít công viên và cảm nhận cá nhân. Hạn chế tiếng ừ và lỗi phát âm/động từ.

例: No, I didn’t. I grew up in a small town where most houses had private gardens, so there weren’t many public parks. Because of that, I rarely visited parks as a child and usually played in our garden with my family.

提案: Trả lời trực tiếp rồi mở rộng bằng lý do rõ ràng, dùng liên từ để nối ý (because, so). Sử dụng thì hiện tại đơn cho thói quen và dùng danh từ số nhiều/câu mạch lạc. Thêm chi tiết về tần suất hoặc hoạt động cụ thể để phong phú câu trả lời.

例: Not really. I prefer going to coffee shops because I can chat with my friends and take photos there. I usually go to a café once or twice a week to relax and catch up with people.

提案: Trả lời trực tiếp rồi giải thích rõ ràng nguyên nhân và kết quả. Sửa lỗi ngữ pháp (use 'there is/are' or 'my city has'), chọn từ chính xác (polluted, noisy) và dùng tính từ phù hợp (relaxed, comfortable). Thêm ví dụ về lợi ích cụ thể của công viên như giảm ô nhiễm, không gian xanh, nơi thể dục.

例: Yes, I would. My city has heavy traffic and a lot of air pollution, so more parks would provide green spaces where people can relax and exercise. For example, a new park with trees and benches would offer a quieter place to unwind after work.

提案: Nói rõ loại công viên bạn muốn đến và lý do cụ thể, dùng thì tương lai (would like to/ want to) và danh từ số nhiều nếu cần. Sửa cấu trúc câu và từ vựng (plain → plains? wildflowers, mountainous scenery). Thêm chi tiết về hoạt động bạn muốn làm ở đó để làm câu trả lời phong phú hơn.

例: I would like to visit national parks in the future because they often have wide plains and beautiful wildflowers that I haven't seen before. I hope to go hiking, take photos of the scenery, and learn about local wildlife.

× Umm no I didn't when I was joy.

✓ Umm no, I didn't when I was a child.

The speaker used 'joy' incorrectly; the intended word is 'child' to indicate age in the past. Also add the article 'a' before 'child' and a comma after 'Umm no' for clarity. Use past tense 'didn't' is fine. Suggestion: Replace 'joy' with 'child' and include the article 'a' to form 'when I was a child.'

× I living in my hometown.

✓ I lived in my hometown.

The sentence uses the present participle 'living' without an auxiliary; the context refers to the past, so the simple past 'lived' is correct. Suggestion: Use 'I lived in my hometown' to show past state.

× So in my hometown have many private garden in a house and this not have many parks.

✓ In my hometown, many houses have private gardens, and there are not many parks.

The original lacks a proper subject and verb order and misuses singular/plural. 'Many private garden in a house' should be 'many houses have private gardens.' Also 'this not have many parks' should be 'there are not many parks' (There be construction). Suggestion: Reorder to 'In my hometown, many houses have private gardens, and there are not many parks.'

× Not really, I like to go to the coffee shop more than because I want to talk with my friend or take photo.

✓ Not really. I prefer going to coffee shops because I want to talk with my friends or take photos.

Use of 'like to go to the coffee shop more than because' is ungrammatical. 'Prefer' or 'like...more than' is needed. Plural 'coffee shops', 'friends', and 'photos' are appropriate. 'Take photo' should be 'take photos' or 'take a photo.' Suggestion: Say 'I prefer going to coffee shops because I want to talk with my friends or take photos.'

× Yes, because in, in my city have more transportation, so it's really cloudy, uh, clouded and noisy.

✓ Yes, because in my city there is more transportation, so it is very cloudy and noisy.

The original omits 'there is' in the 'there be' construction: 'in my city have more transportation' should be 'there is more transportation in my city.' 'Clouded' is incorrect; use 'cloudy.' 'Really' or 'very' instead of filler 'uh'. Suggestion: Use 'there is' and 'cloudy' to form 'there is more transportation in my city, so it is very cloudy and noisy.'

× So in, so the park, uh, help people relax and comfortable.

✓ So the park helps people relax and feel comfortable.

Verb agreement: 'park' (singular) requires 'helps' (third person singular). 'Relax and comfortable' mixes a verb and adjective; use 'relax and feel comfortable' or 'relax and be comfortable.' Suggestion: Use 'helps' and parallel structure: 'helps people relax and feel comfortable.'

× MMM I think is national parks because in National Park have more plain flower.

✓ I think I will go to national parks because national parks have more plain flowers.

Sentence structure missing subject 'I' and future reference; 'I think I will go to national parks' expresses future intention. 'In National Park have more plain flower' lacks 'there' and plural forms: 'national parks have more plain flowers.' Suggestion: Use subject and future/modal ('I will') and correct plural forms.

× As I never see it now.

✓ I have never seen them before.

Tense and pronoun: 'never see it now' is ungrammatical. To describe past experience up to now, use present perfect 'have never seen' and plural pronoun 'them' for 'national parks' or 'it' replaced with 'them'/'one.' Suggestion: Say 'I have never seen them before' or 'I have never seen a national park before.'