Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more natural and grammatical: start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb tenses, and give specific supporting details using linking words. Keep it concise (max 4–5 sentences). For example, mention a particular memory or activity and link ideas with words like because, so, or for example.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child because there was a large park near my home. For example, the park had a big slide and swings that my friends and I used every weekend. We often played hide-and-seek and had picnics, so those visits are some of my fondest childhood memories.

提案: Improve grammar and clarity: use correct phrases (e.g., 'I don't have much time') and avoid repetition. Provide one specific reason and a short example of when you might visit a park now. Use linking words like however or but to contrast past and present.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks; however, as a high school student I don't have much free time. I usually only visit a small neighborhood park once a week to clear my mind after studying. For example, I sometimes go for a 30-minute walk there on Sunday mornings.

提案: Make the answer more coherent and specific: state your opinion clearly, then give 2–3 concrete reasons with linking words (for example, because, so, also). Avoid vague words and unclear phrases like 'FA vivid'.

例: Yes, I would. More parks would make the city greener and improve air quality, for example by adding trees and flowerbeds. They would also provide peaceful places for people to relax and exercise, rather than only having shops and busy streets.

提案: Be more specific and avoid repetition: name a particular park or city if possible, explain why you want to visit and what you would do there. Use conditional phrasing correctly (e.g., 'If I had the chance') and linking words like because or so.

例: I don't know many local parks, but I'd love to visit famous parks in Europe if I had the chance. For example, I would like to go to Hyde Park in London because of its large green spaces and lively atmosphere, and I would enjoy walking, people-watching and picnicking there.

× Yes, I love going parks at when I was a child because our home has a park nearby and there's a big park with a lot of facilities such as a slide and winds, so I always enjoy the time with my friends.

✓ Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child because our home had a park nearby and there was a big park with a lot of facilities such as a slide and swings, so I always enjoyed spending time with my friends.

Multiple tense errors: the question asks about childhood habit so past tense is required (love -> loved, has -> had, there's -> there was, enjoy -> enjoyed). 'going parks' is missing 'to' after 'going' and should be 'going to parks'. 'at when' is incorrect; use 'when'. 'winds' is likely a typo for 'swings'. 'enjoy the time' is better as 'enjoyed spending time'. Suggest using consistent past tense for actions and correct prepositions and nouns.

× Yes, I still like enjoying the time in park, but as I am a high school student I have not much many time.

✓ Yes, I still like spending time in parks, but as I am a high school student I do not have much time.

Use simple present for current habits (still like). 'enjoying the time in park' is awkward; use 'spending time in parks' and plural 'parks' or 'the park'. 'have not much many time' is ungrammatical: correct is 'do not have much time'. Use auxiliary 'do' for negative in present simple.

× I have not much time to enjoy the to pass the time in park.

✓ I do not have much time to relax or pass the time in the park.

Unnecessary repetition and incorrect structure: 'enjoy the to pass' is wrong. Use parallel infinitives 'to relax or pass the time'. Include article 'the' before 'park' or use plural 'parks'. Use 'do not have' for negation.

× I have to study in my home and go to the crime school.

✓ I have to study at home and go to cram school.

Preposition: use 'at home' not 'in my home' for habitual studying. 'crime school' is a lexical error; intended phrase is 'cram school' (a type of after-school tutoring). Keep present simple for habitual actions.

× So I still like going to parks, but I have no time.

✓ So I still like going to parks, but I have no time.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable in present simple and needs no correction. It correctly expresses a current preference and lack of time.

× Yes of course, because if there is more parks in my city there the cities environment will be more green and beautiful.

✓ Yes, of course, because if there were more parks in my city, the city's environment would be greener and more beautiful.

Conditional sentence requires subjunctive/plausible hypothetical: use 'were' not 'is'. 'more parks' plural with 'there' placement fixed. 'cities environment' needs possessive 'city's'. Use comparative 'greener' not 'more green' and parallel 'greener and more beautiful' or 'greener and more beautiful' is fine. Also use comma and conditional 'would' for result clause.

× It's not just department store or convenience store and it will be more FA vivid in my.

✓ It's not just department stores or convenience stores, and it would make the city more vibrant.

Original has pronoun and noun number errors and unclear phrase 'FA vivid in my'. Use plural 'department stores or convenience stores'. 'It will be more FA vivid in my' is ungrammatical and unclear; interpret as 'make the city more vibrant'. Use 'would' to match conditional if earlier clause uses 'if there were'.

× Hmm actually I don't know what parks are there, but I know in Europe there are many parks that for people to relax and exercise.

✓ Hmm, actually I don't know which parks are there, but I know that in Europe there are many parks for people to relax and exercise.

Use 'which' to ask about specific parks. Add 'that' or remove 'that' with correct word order. Remove extra 'for' after 'parks that'. Ensure clause 'there are many parks' is correct word order.

× So if I had a chance, if I have a chance, I want to go to the parking parks in Europe and enjoy the vibe there.

✓ So if I had the chance, I would like to go to the parks in Europe and enjoy the atmosphere there.

Conditional mixing: choose second conditional 'If I had the chance, I would like...' not mixing 'if I have'. 'want' is acceptable but 'would like' fits polite hypothetical. 'parking parks' is wrong; use just 'parks'. 'vibe' is informal; 'atmosphere' is more appropriate. Maintain conditional mood consistency.