Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct verb forms and prepositions (e.g., "going to the park was my favorite activity," "I used to meet my friends"). Avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I loved going to the park as a child. I used to meet my friends there and we played on the swings and climbed the jungle gym. Because the park was near my home, we often spent whole afternoons playing together.

提案: Clarify tense and simplify. Give a direct topic sentence then add one or two relevant specifics with linking words. Use correct age phrasing ("two-year-old daughter") and consistent tense ("I have a family"). Avoid awkward phrases like "the answer is absolutely years."

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks now. I have a two-year-old daughter, so we often visit the nearby playground so she can play and I can relax for a while.

提案: Answer directly and use natural phrases. Replace awkward idioms ("winter down") with "wind down" and "green spaces" for clarity. Provide one concrete reason and an example with correct vocabulary ("football, volleyball"), and avoid addressing the examiner as "Sir."

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city. More green spaces would help residents wind down after a busy day, and children would have safe places to play sports like football or volleyball.

提案: Be specific and use correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence naming the park, then explain why you want to go with one or two concrete details (types of facilities or activities). Use correct verb agreement ("the most attractive park for me is").

例: Yes, I would like to visit Pudong Oscars Park in the future. It is a very large park with many entertainment facilities, such as a lake, cycling paths, and children's play areas, which I think my family would enjoy.

× Yes, of course, when I was young, going to park is my favorite activity because I usually to meet my friends and play all kinds of activities in playground in near in the park nearby my home.

✓ Yes, of course. When I was young, going to the park was my favorite activity because I usually met my friends and played all kinds of games in the playground near the park by my home.

Errors: incorrect use of singular/plural nouns, tense, and extra prepositions. 'going to park' needs the definite article and singular form: 'going to the park'. 'is my favorite' should match past time reference 'when I was young', so use past tense 'was'. 'I usually to meet' is ungrammatical; use past simple 'I usually met'. 'play all kinds of activities' is awkward; use 'played all kinds of games' (plural noun 'games'). 'in playground in near in the park nearby my home' contains redundant prepositions — correct to 'in the playground near the park by my home'. Suggestion: match tense to time frame, use appropriate articles, and choose correct noun forms (games, playground).

× Yes, absolutely. The answer is absolutely years because now I had my own family and a two years old daughter so I needed to take my daughter to playground nearby my home to play sides and have a fun.

✓ Yes, absolutely. The answer is absolutely yes, because now I have my own family and a two-year-old daughter, so I need to take my daughter to the playground near my home to play and have fun.

Errors: incorrect present tense forms and noun/adjective forms. 'The answer is absolutely years' is nonsensical; likely intended 'absolutely yes'. 'now I had my own family' uses past tense 'had' while referring to present — use present 'have'. 'a two years old daughter' should be the compound adjective 'two-year-old daughter'. 'so I needed to take' should be present 'need' to match 'now'. 'to playground nearby my home' needs article and correct order: 'to the playground near my home'. 'to play sides and have a fun' contains incorrect phrase 'play sides' and article 'a fun' — correct to 'to play and have fun'. Suggestion: maintain present tense for current situations, use hyphenated age adjectives, include articles and idiomatic collocations ('have fun').

× Yes Sir, the answer is very clear. We need more parks to winter down after the busy walk and the children also need more green line to play with each other, for example football, village ball and.

✓ Yes, sir. The answer is very clear. We need more parks to wind down after a busy walk, and the children also need more green space to play with each other, for example football and volleyball.

Errors: article and vocabulary misuse. 'to winter down' is incorrect; correct verb is 'wind down' meaning relax. 'after the busy walk' should be 'after a busy walk' or 'after busy days' — use indefinite article 'a' for one instance. 'more green line' is wrong noun; use 'green space'. The list 'for example football, village ball and.' is incomplete and 'village ball' is not a common sport — likely 'volleyball'. Also capitalize 'sir' lower-case in mid-sentence. Suggestion: use correct verbs ('wind down'), choose appropriate nouns ('green space'), include articles where needed, and complete the list of examples.

× Yes, the most attractive parks for me is Pudong Oscars Park, which is a huge park for me and with a lot of entertainment facilities.

✓ Yes, the most attractive park for me is Pudong Oscars Park, which is a huge park with a lot of entertainment facilities.

Errors: mismatch between singular/plural and redundant phrasing. 'the most attractive parks for me is' mixes plural 'parks' with singular verb 'is' — change to singular 'park' to agree with 'is'. Remove redundant 'for me' repeated. 'and with a lot of' is ungrammatical; use 'which is a huge park with a lot of entertainment facilities'. Suggestion: ensure subject number matches the verb and avoid unnecessary repetition.