Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and concise: start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, then add one or two specific supporting details. Correct grammar (past tense), reduce redundancy, and keep to under five sentences. Use linking words like 'because' and 'so' correctly.

例: No, I didn't like going to parks as a child because our house was far from the nearest park. Therefore, I usually stayed at home and spent time playing with my friends or my mother.

提案: Give a clear, grammatically correct statement about your current preference, then add one or two specific reasons using linking words (for example, 'because', 'also', 'often'). Fix verb forms and word order, and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I enjoy going to parks more now than when I was a child because I like the relaxed atmosphere and seeing people exercising with their dogs. I also often read a book while sitting on a bench in the park.

提案: Answer directly and give specific reasons why more parks would help the city. Avoid unclear phrases and incorrect vocabulary ('vocabulary' is wrong here). Use comparative expressions correctly and provide examples of benefits (air quality, recreation).

例: Definitely. Bangkok has relatively small parks compared with other big cities, so creating more parks would improve air quality, provide places for exercise, and make the city more pleasant to live in.

提案: Start with a clear statement about your intention, then name a specific park and explain why you want to visit it using concise, correct sentences. Use linking words like 'for example' or 'because'. Correct article usage ('the USA') and plural/singular forms.

例: Yes, I want to visit as many parks as possible. For example, I would love to go to Central Park in the USA because it is large and hosts many outdoor activities; I would enjoy jogging there and joining group events.

× When I was young I didn't like to go into the parks because my house is far away from park, so I usually spend time on in my house instead, like playing with my friend or my mother.

✓ When I was young, I didn't like to go to the park because my house was far from the park, so I usually spent time in my house instead, like playing with my friends or with my mother.

Multiple errors: 'go into the parks' incorrect preposition and article (Grammar Problem Type 11 and 22) should be 'go to the park'. 'house is far away from park' wrong tense and missing article (Types 5 and 22) should be 'was far from the park'. 'spend' should be past tense to match 'didn't' (Type 5). 'on in my house' has extra preposition 'on' (Type 11). 'my friend' should be plural 'my friends' if general (Type 1). Suggestions: use consistent past tense for past habits, use 'go to the park', include articles before singular nouns, remove extra prepositions, and pluralize where appropriate.

× When I growing up I a bit more enjoy than I'm going to the parks because I firstly I enjoy the atmosphere where people go to work with their dogs and sometimes I reading a book I lean on the park.

✓ When I was growing up, I enjoyed going to parks a bit more because I liked the atmosphere where people walk their dogs, and sometimes I read a book while leaning on a bench in the park.

Errors include missing auxiliary and incorrect tense (Type 6 and 5): 'When I growing up' needs 'was'. 'I a bit more enjoy than I'm going to the parks' has incorrect word order and tense (Types 6 and 26) — use 'I enjoyed going to parks more'. 'go to work with their dogs' wrong verb choice and preposition (Type 11) should be 'walk their dogs'. 'I reading a book' missing auxiliary/tense (Type 6) should be 'I read a book'. 'I lean on the park' incorrect preposition and noun (Type 11) — 'leaning on a bench in the park'. Suggestions: use past continuous/simple as needed, correct word order for comparisons, choose proper verbs and prepositions, and include necessary articles.

× Definitely, I live in Bangkok where the park it have it's have small area when compared to other city in this world. So if we can have more parks it will be pleasant and make the city more vocabulary.

✓ Definitely. I live in Bangkok where the parks have small areas compared to other cities in the world. So if we could have more parks, it would be pleasant and make the city more livable.

Errors: tense/number and pronoun errors (Types 1, 12, 22): 'the park it have it's have small area' is ungrammatical — use plural 'parks have small areas'. 'other city' needs plural 'cities' (Type 1). 'if we can have' conditional should be 'if we could have' to express hypothetical (Type 7). 'it will be pleasant' better as 'it would be pleasant' to match conditional (Type 7). 'make the city more vocabulary' incorrect word choice (Type 13) — 'livable' or 'pleasant'. Suggestions: ensure subject-verb agreement, correct pronoun removal, pluralize nouns when comparing, use correct conditional modal, and choose appropriate adjectives.

× Yes, I want to visit as many as parks as I can. The one of my goal is Central Park in USA is a big park where people gathering together and exercise or doing activity together which I want to do as well.

✓ Yes, I want to visit as many parks as I can. One of my goals is Central Park in the USA; it is a big park where people gather and exercise or do activities together, which I would like to do as well.

Errors: extraneous words and article errors (Types 26 and 22): 'as many as parks as I can' wrong word order — use 'as many parks as I can' (Type 26). 'The one of my goal is' should be 'One of my goals is' (Type 1 and 26). 'Central Park in USA' needs article 'the' and 'the USA' (Type 22). Verb forms: 'people gathering' should be 'people gather' (wrong participle use, Type 10/9) and 'exercise or doing activity' inconsistent forms — use parallel infinitives 'exercise or do activities' (Type 8/26). 'which I want to do as well' conditionality improved to 'which I would like to do as well.' Suggestions: fix word order, pluralize where needed, add definite article for country name, use parallel verb forms, and make polite conditional phrasing.