Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện ngữ pháp và phát âm (thứ, số và động từ), sử dụng từ vựng chính xác (ví dụ: swings thay vì wings), loại bỏ tiếng ngập ngừng (umm) và sửa trật tự từ để câu tự nhiên hơn. Ngoài ra hãy giữ câu ngắn gọn (tối đa 3-4 câu), mở đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng rồi thêm 1-2 chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ trò chơi bạn chơi hoặc kỷ niệm đáng nhớ).

例: Yes, I loved going to the park as a child because I used to play on the swings and run around with my friends. We often told stories and played games like make-believe battles, which made the park a very fun place for me.

提案: Sửa cấu trúc phủ định và thì ("Actually, no" hoặc "Not really"), dùng từ đúng (nowadays, lie in bed), tránh lặp từ và ngập ngừng, cung cấp lý do ngắn gọn và một ví dụ cụ thể. Giữ tối đa 3 câu và dùng liên từ để nối ý.

例: Not really. Nowadays, because of the development of technology, I prefer staying at home and lying in bed to surf the internet or watch films online. For example, I often stream series on my laptop in the evenings.

提案: Trả lời trực tiếp rồi giải thích rõ ràng; dùng từ chính xác (sports courts/fields, rather than 'yard play' or 'bad'). Tránh nói lắp, trình bày lý do ngắn gọn và cụ thể (ví dụ: sân thể thao tiện lợi hơn).

例: Not really. I already see many sports courts and football fields in my city, which I find more useful than traditional parks. These facilities are easier to access and better for organised sports.

提案: Sử dụng thì và liên từ phù hợp (want to go to, because), sửa từ vựng (national/nature park, see more animals, sightseeing), làm rõ lý do cụ thể (tham quan động thực vật, đi bộ đường mòn) và tránh câu dài lủng củng. Bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề rồi nêu 2 chi tiết cụ thể.

例: Yes, I would love to visit a nature park like Kofung Park because I could see a variety of animals and many trees. I enjoy hiking on trails and taking photos of wildlife, which helps me relax and breathe fresh air.

× I definitely liked going to park when I was a child because I enjoys playing on those wings and running around with my friends.

✓ I definitely liked going to parks when I was a child because I enjoyed playing on those swings and running around with my friends.

The noun 'park' should be plural or preceded by an article; 'going to parks' or 'going to the park' — plural fits general habit. 'Enjoys' is third person singular but the subject is 'I', so the correct past form is 'enjoyed'. 'Wings' is a misspelling of 'swings'. Use past tense consistently for past habits: 'liked' and 'enjoyed'. Suggestions: use correct noun forms and match verb tense and subject (I + past verb).

× We often play together, share umm many stories and playing games like tanks though the park was fun place to me.

✓ We often played together, shared many stories and played games like tag; the park was a fun place for me.

The sentence mixes present and past tenses; the question asked about childhood, so use past tense for habitual actions: 'played', 'shared', 'played'. 'Playing' should be 'played' for parallel structure. 'Tanks' is likely 'tag'. Also add article 'a' before 'fun place' and preposition 'for me'. Suggestions: keep tense consistent, use correct verb forms and articles, and correct vocabulary mistakes.

× Actually to say no, because nowaday with the development of technology, umm, I prefer to stay at home and lay in the bed all day to surf the Internet or watch the watch film like a bingo watch.

✓ Actually no, because nowadays with the development of technology, I prefer to stay at home and lie in bed all day to surf the Internet or watch films like a blockbuster.

Tense and word choice: 'nowadays' is adverb; 'prefer' is present and okay. 'Lay' is transitive; the correct intransitive verb is 'lie' for reclining. 'In the bed' should be 'in bed' without article for general state. 'Watch the watch film like a bingo watch' is ungrammatical and unclear; replace with 'watch films like a blockbuster' or similar. Suggestions: use correct verb 'lie', omit unnecessary articles, and choose appropriate vocabulary.

× Actually no, because nowadays I see more UMM yard play like a bad badminton yard or football and like volleyball yard more than the park.

✓ Actually no, because nowadays I see more yards for playing sports, like badminton courts, football fields and volleyball courts rather than parks.

'More UMM yard play' is ungrammatical. Use 'yards for playing sports' or specific terms like 'badminton courts', 'football fields'. 'Like' repeated is awkward; use parallel list. 'More than the park' should be 'rather than parks' or 'rather than the park'. Suggestions: use precise countable nouns (court, field), and correct comparative structure 'rather than'.

× Definitely yes, I want to go to the natural park like Kofung park is 'cause I had a chance to see more animal or more trees.

✓ Definitely yes, I want to go to a natural park like Kofung Park because I would have a chance to see more animals and more trees.

Use article 'a' before 'natural park'. 'Is 'cause' is informal; use 'because'. Maintain future possibility: 'I would have a chance' or 'I could have a chance' fits a future desire. 'Had' (past) is incorrect here. 'Animal' should be plural 'animals'. Suggestions: use correct articles, plural nouns for countable items, and modal 'would/could' for expressing future possibility.

× I can take a deep breath or sightsee many thing I had even seen before that and I prefer that.

✓ I can take deep breaths and sightsee many things I have not seen before, and I would prefer that.

'Take a deep breath' can be plural 'take deep breaths' for general action. 'Sightsee' is fine but 'many thing' should be 'many things'. 'I had even seen before that' incorrectly uses past perfect; intended meaning is to see things not seen before, so 'I have not seen before' or 'I have not seen yet'. 'I prefer that' should match and use conditional 'would prefer' for future intention. Suggestions: use correct plural nouns, correct aspect (present perfect) when comparing past experiences, and appropriate modality for preferences.