Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện ngữ pháp cơ bản (thì động từ, sở hữu), cấu trúc câu và phát âm; trả lời nên trực tiếp và mạch lạc hơn với một câu chủ đề rõ ràng, sau đó cung cấp 1–2 chi tiết cụ thể. Tránh lặp từ và sửa lỗi như "I love her" -> "I loved them/parks", "my family's" -> "my family" và chia động từ đúng (I usually played / I usually went).

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often went there with my family and played on the swings and slides with my friends. On weekends my parents would pack a picnic, which made those visits special.

提案: Rút gọn và tránh lặp ý; sử dụng thì hiện tại đơn đúng và diễn đạt ý về lợi ích một cách cụ thể hơn (ví dụ: chạy bộ, yoga). Sử dụng liên từ để nối ý (for example, because, so).

例: Yes, I still like going to parks now. I go there every morning to jog and do stretching exercises because it helps me stay fit and feel energetic throughout the day.

提案: Sửa ngữ pháp số ít/đếm được (park/parks, city/cities) và trật tự từ; trình bày rõ lý do với các điểm cụ thể (giao tiếp cộng đồng, sức khỏe, không gian cho trẻ em). Dùng liên từ như "because" và "also" hợp lý hơn để kết nối ý.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide communal spaces where people can meet and exercise. Also, parks offer safe places for children to play and help improve urban air quality.

提案: Giảm tiếng 'uh' và lời lặp; dùng một câu chủ đề rõ ràng rồi nêu 1–2 đặc điểm cụ thể (nhiều cây, yên tĩnh, có lối mòn đi bộ) và lý do (relaxation, fresh air). Sử dụng cấu trúc ngữ pháp chính xác: "I would like to visit a park that has..."

例: In the future, I would like to visit parks that are full of trees and have peaceful green areas. Such parks help me unwind, offer fresh air, and are perfect for long walks or reading.

× Yes, when I was a child I love her.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I loved going to parks.

The original sentence uses an incorrect pronoun 'her' and wrong tense 'love'. Replace with 'loved' (past tense) to match 'when I was a child' and specify the activity 'going to parks' for clarity. Suggestion: use the past tense for past time references and ensure pronouns refer to correct noun; here no pronoun is needed.

× Go parks with my family's.

✓ I went to parks with my family.

The sentence lacks a subject and uses incorrect plural possessive 'family's'. Use 'I went' (past tense) as subject + verb and 'my family' as the correct noun phrase. Remove the apostrophe in 'family' because it is not possessive here.

× I usually play on the swings and slides with my friends.

✓ I usually played on the swings and slides with my friends.

The context is past (childhood), so the verb 'play' should be in past tense 'played'. Keep 'usually' to indicate habitual past action.

× At the weekends my parents usually go for a picnic to entertain with me.

✓ At the weekends my parents usually took me on a picnic to entertain me.

Use 'took me on a picnic' or 'went on a picnic with me' instead of 'go for a picnic to entertain with me'. Also 'entertain me' is the correct object form. Past tense 'took' matches 'At the weekends' in past context.

× Yes oh when I am an adult I usually go for go to park to exercise every mornings.

✓ Yes, now that I am an adult I usually go to the park to exercise every morning.

Use present tense 'am' for current state and 'go' with correct structure 'go to the park'. Remove duplicate 'go'. Use singular 'the park' or 'parks' and 'every morning' (not 'mornings'). The adverbial phrase 'now that I am an adult' fits better.

× I think it is good for my health and it can improve my health and maintain a balanced diet.

✓ I think it is good for my health; it helps improve my fitness and supports maintaining a balanced diet.

Avoid repeating 'improve my health' and 'it can improve my health'—combine ideas for clarity. Use 'helps improve' and 'supports maintaining' for natural collocation.

× I think it is a good way to improve my health.

✓ (This sentence is redundant and can be omitted.)

This repeats the previous idea. Suggest removing or rephrasing to add new information.

× Yes I want to see more park in my cities because it is a good way to communicate with others people and to improve our health and park it a way to children played with each other also.

✓ Yes, I want to see more parks in my city because they are a good way to meet other people, improve our health, and give children a place to play together.

Use plural 'parks' and singular 'my city' (or 'cities' consistently). Use 'meet other people' instead of 'communicate with others people'. Use 'they are' for plural subject. 'Place to play together' is clearer than 'park it a way to children played with each other'.

× Uh, the parks I want you, umm, go in the future, uh, is uh, that have so many trees and umm, umm, umm green, uh green background.

✓ The parks I want to go to in the future are those that have many trees and a green setting.

Fix structure: 'parks' plural requires 'are'. Use 'want to go to' and 'those that' to refer to parks. 'Many trees' and 'a green setting' are concise. Remove filler words.

× It helps me unwind and good for my health.

✓ They help me unwind and are good for my health.

Refers to plural 'parks', so use 'they' and plural verbs 'help' and 'are'. Also use full clause 'are good for my health'.