Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words (e.g., however, so) and correct collocations (e.g., "near my area", "hang around"). Avoid repetition and long run-on sentences.

例: No, I didn't. There weren't any parks near my area when I was a child, so my friends and I usually rode our motorbikes and hung out around our houses instead.

提案: Give a direct answer, follow with one clear reason and a brief supporting detail. Use singular/plural correctly ("family" or "family members") and avoid unnecessary fillers like "actually". Try to vary vocabulary (e.g., "prefer spending time on my devices").

例: No, I don't. There are still no parks near my home, so I prefer spending my free time on my digital devices or socialising with friends and family.

提案: Be clearer and use accurate vocabulary. Start with a concise topic sentence, then give two specific benefits using linking words (for example, "because", "which means"). Avoid fillers like "you know" and use plural/singular correctly ("parks", "development").

例: Yes. More parks would provide accessible places to exercise and relax for local residents, which would improve community wellbeing and contribute to the city's development.

提案: Answer directly, then explain with specific alternatives. Use natural expressions ("not my cup of tea") sparingly and correct grammar ("go to parks", "near my area"). Keep it brief and avoid repeating the same idea twice.

例: No, not really. Visiting parks isn't my cup of tea; I prefer spending free time at home sketching, dancing or practising my art instead.

× No actually because there weren't any parks nearby my areas when I was a child and I used to play with my friends and even though there was not any parks near me, we used to go for a ride in our motorbikes and just hanging in each around houses.

✓ No, actually, because there weren't any parks near my area when I was a child. I used to play with my friends, and even though there were no parks near me, we used to go for rides on our motorbikes and just hang around the houses.

Problems: incorrect use of 'there were not any parks' with plural agreement and 'my areas' and 'hanging in each around houses'. Use 'there weren't any parks' is fine but follow with 'near my area' (singular) or 'in my area'. Use 'there were no parks' (plural noun agreement). 'Go for a ride' should be plural 'go for rides' if habitual, and 'on our motorbikes' is correct preposition. 'Just hanging in each around houses' is ungrammatical — correct to 'just hang around the houses' (infinitive/habitual verb form). Suggestions: ensure agreement between 'there + be' and the noun (parks → were), use singular/plural for 'area/areas', and use base verb for habitual actions ('hang' not 'hanging').

× Actually, no, because I still don't have parks near my home area and I would rather spend my time using my digital gadgets and just hanging around with my friends and families.

✓ Actually, no, because I still don't have parks near my home area, and I would rather spend my time using my digital gadgets and just hang around with my friends and family.

Problems: 'hanging around' should be parallel with 'spend my time' — use base verb 'hang'. 'Families' is incorrect when referring to one's friends' family groups; use 'family' if referring to your own family. Ensure parallel structure after 'rather' (would rather + base verb). Suggestion: keep verbs in base form after 'would rather' and use correct singular 'family' unless you mean multiple families explicitly.

× Yes, of course, because parts of the places where it's easier to hang out, where it's easier to exercise and which is very accessible to us common citizens.

✓ Yes, of course, because parks are places where it's easy to hang out, where it's easy to exercise, and which are very accessible to ordinary citizens.

Problems: 'parts of the places' is odd and redundant; use 'parks are places'. 'It's easier' should be 'it's easy' for general statements. 'Which is very accessible' does not agree with plural 'places' — use 'which are very accessible'. 'Common citizens' is unnatural; use 'ordinary citizens'. Suggestion: express general facts with simple present ('is/are' + adjective) and keep subject-verb agreement.

× So I would consider that seeing more park in our city would be very lively and cheerful and it would be a great, you know, step for developing a country.

✓ So I would consider that having more parks in our city would make it livelier and more cheerful, and it would be a great step for the country's development.

Problems: 'seeing more park' is incorrect — use 'having more parks' or 'more parks' (plural). 'Would be very lively and cheerful' needs subject clarity; 'make the city livelier and more cheerful' is natural. 'Step for developing a country' is awkward; use 'step for the country's development'. Suggestion: use nouns correctly (park → parks) and adjust adjectives with comparative forms (livelier) and proper noun phrases for development.

× Actually no, because going to park and hanging around is not my cup of tea, so I would rather just spend my time alone in my house sketching or drawing or dancing.

✓ Actually, no, because going to the park and hanging around are not my cup of tea, so I would rather just spend my time alone at home sketching, drawing, or dancing.

Problems: 'going to park' needs an article: 'the park' or 'going to parks'. Compound subject 'going to the park and hanging around' is plural, so use 'are not'. 'In my house' is better as 'at home'. Use parallel gerunds 'sketching, drawing, or dancing' and commas for lists. Suggestion: include articles with singular countable nouns and ensure subject-verb agreement for compound subjects.

× So I would not prefer to go any park near my areas.

✓ So I would not prefer to go to any park near my area.

Problems: missing preposition 'to' after 'go' (go to a place). 'Any park near my areas' should be 'any park near my area' (use singular 'area' or 'any parks near my area'). Suggestion: use 'go to' for visiting places and match singular/plural forms appropriately.