Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cần cải thiện ngữ pháp cơ bản (thì, số nhiều/ít, đại từ), phát âm một vài từ và cấu trúc câu để trả lời tự nhiên hơn. Tránh dùng từ không phù hợp như “eyes” hay “rent”. Bắt đầu bằng một câu chủ đề rõ ràng, sau đó thêm 1–2 chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ: hoạt động bạn làm, cảm xúc bạn có). Dùng liên từ hợp lý (e.g., “and”, “so”, “because”) để mạch văn mượt mà. Giữ độ dài không quá 5 câu.

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child. After school my parents often took me there to play on the swings and to practice skateboarding. I found parks were a great way to relax and refresh my mind after a busy day because the fresh air and open space made me feel calm.

提案: Cần sửa lỗi thì và số (ví dụ: “schedule is”), tránh lặp từ như “like” quá nhiều và loại trừ tiếng lắp (“uh”). Bắt đầu với câu chủ đề rõ ràng, giải thích lý do ngắn gọn và đưa ví dụ cụ thể về cách bạn dùng thời gian rảnh. Sử dụng từ nối để liên kết ý (e.g., “but”, “however”, “because”).

例: Yes, I still like going to parks, but I don't go very often now because my schedule is very busy in grade 12. At the weekends I usually study or use online learning platforms to prepare for exams, so I only visit a park when I have spare time. When I do go, I prefer a short walk to clear my mind.

提案: Cần dùng cấu trúc chặt chẽ: trả lời trực tiếp rồi giải thích lý do với ví dụ cụ thể. Tránh lặp từ (e.g., “like”, “I love” nhiều lần) và dùng từ phù hợp (ví dụ: “relieve stress” thay vì “reduce rent”). Sửa ngữ pháp (thì và cấu trúc câu) để câu mạch lạc hơn.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because parks provide spaces for recreation and exercise. For example, more parks would give people places to walk, play sports, or relax outdoors, which can help relieve stress and improve community health.

提案: Cần cải thiện trật tự từ, ngữ pháp (động từ, thì), và phát âm. Tránh lặp như “like” và loại bỏ tiếng lắp. Nên bắt đầu với câu chủ đề rõ ràng nêu tên địa điểm, sau đó mô tả lý do với chi tiết cụ thể về những gì bạn muốn xem hoặc học ở đó.

例: I would like to visit Mabi National Park in my country in the future. It is famous for its many endangered species, and I have never seen such animals before. I want to go there to observe wildlife and learn about conservation efforts.

× Well, eyes often go went to the park when they would try.

✓ 'Well, we often went to the park when we were free.'

'The sentence uses incorrect words and past tense formation. "Eyes" is wrong pronoun and should be "we" (incorrect use of pronouns -> ID 12) and "go went" is a duplicated verb with wrong tense (past tense issue -> ID 5). Correct structure uses simple past "went" and expresses time with "when we were free". Suggestion: use the correct subject pronoun and a single past-tense verb; avoid duplicating verbs.'

× After I finish school, my parent took me to the park to play, played in the playgrounds or I trained my skateboarding skill and I felt that like going to the park are very good ways to reduce rent and refresh your mind after like very stressful and busy day.

✓ 'After I finished school, my parents took me to the park to play, I played on the playground, or I practiced my skateboarding skills, and I felt that going to the park was a very good way to relax and refresh my mind after a very stressful and busy day.'

'Multiple errors here: tense inconsistency ("finish" should be past "finished" -> ID 5), singular/plural and possessive errors ("parent" should be plural "parents" -> ID 1), incorrect verb forms ("played in the playgrounds" better as "played on the playground" and "trained my skateboarding skill" should be "practiced my skateboarding skills" -> ID 8/9), subject-verb agreement ("going to the park are" should be "going to the park was" -> ID 27 and 6), and word choice ("reduce rent" is incorrect; likely meant "relax" or "reduce stress" -> ID 13). Also article omission: "a very stressful and busy day." Suggestion: maintain past tense throughout, use correct plural nouns, choose correct verbs and collocations ("relax/refresh"), and ensure subject-verb agreement.'

× Well, yeah, I love too.

✓ 'Well, yeah, I love it too.'

'Missing object pronoun after "love"; use "it" to refer to going to parks (incorrect use of pronouns -> ID 12). Also word order: "too" commonly follows the object. Suggestion: add the pronoun "it" and place "too" at the end.'

× But now I'm in grade 12 and my schedule are very busy so I don't have much time at the weekends.

✓ 'But now I'm in grade 12 and my schedule is very busy, so I don't have much time on the weekends.'

'Subject-verb agreement error: "schedule are" should be "schedule is" because "schedule" is singular (ID 27). Also preposition correction: use "on the weekends" rather than "at the weekends" (incorrect use of prepositions -> ID 11). Suggestion: match singular subjects with singular verbs and use correct prepositions for time expressions.'

× I usually use the weekend to like study my homework or like reading for more like information in a learning show, uh, digital learning platform.

✓ 'I usually use the weekend to study or to read for more information on a digital learning platform.'

'Incorrect verb+ -ing and infinitive use: "study my homework" should be "study" or "do my homework" and "like reading for more like information" is ungrammatical (verb + -ing form issue -> ID 8). Preposition "on" fits with "platform" (ID 11). Suggestion: use "to + verb" after "use the weekend to," simplify redundant fillers like "like," and choose correct verb collocations: "do homework," "read for information." '},{