Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Correct grammar (verb forms and articles), be concise, and add one specific detail to make it natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, use past tense consistently, and include a brief supporting detail linked with a word like "because" or "so."

例: Yes, I loved going to the park with my parents when I was a child. We often went to the nearest public park every weekend because I enjoyed playing on the swings and feeding the ducks, which felt like the highlight of my week.

提案: Give a clear direct answer first (yes or no), then explain briefly with one or two specific reasons. Avoid fillers and repetition, use linking words such as "but" or "however" to contrast past and present preferences.

例: Not really. I prefer visiting cafés and restaurants now because I enjoy trying different kinds of food and the relaxed atmosphere, although I sometimes go to parks for a walk.

提案: Answer directly and clearly (yes/no) and give a specific reason and one example. Use correct grammar (subject-verb agreement and articles) and linking words like "because" or "for example."

例: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because the number of green spaces has declined over the years. For example, several small playgrounds were replaced by buildings, so having more parks would improve residents' quality of life.

提案: Give a clear short answer, then offer a specific reason and one contrasting example of when you might visit a park. Remove fillers and ensure sentences are complete and grammatical.

例: Not really — I prefer visiting cafés and restaurants to try new dishes. However, I might go to a park in the future if there is a food festival or outdoor concert there.

× When I was a child, I always goes to government to park with my parents.

✓ When I was a child, I always went to the government park with my parents.

The verb 'goes' is present tense and does not match the past time reference 'When I was a child' or the subject. Use past tense 'went'. Also 'government to park' is incorrect word order and article use; correct phrase is 'the government park' or 'a government park'. Use 'the' if specific.

× It's my enjoyment time and I was a kid.

✓ It was my favorite time when I was a kid.

The original is awkward and mixes present 'It's' with past context. Change to past tense 'It was' and a natural collocation 'my favorite time'. Maintain consistent past tense for clarity.

× Umm yes or no uh nowadays I mostly interested to go cafes or restaurant to enjoy different types of food umm because umm umm I don't know uh I like, I most like to rent coffee and restaurants to enjoy.

✓ Umm, well, nowadays I'm mostly interested in going to cafes or restaurants to enjoy different types of food because I like trying different dishes, and I prefer visiting coffee shops and restaurants to do that.

The student used incorrect verb forms and missing auxiliary 'am' for present continuous/state: 'I mostly interested' should be 'I'm mostly interested' (present tense with adjective). Use 'interested in going' (preposition use). 'Restaurant' needs plural 'restaurants'. 'Rent coffee' is incorrect; likely meant 'visit coffee shops' or 'drink coffee'. Rephrase for natural collocation and correct tense.

× Comparing to past years, uh, the uh, number of parks are decreased nowadays because uh, I don't know why what happened, but in my city there is only few parks according or compared to past days.

✓ Compared to past years, the number of parks has decreased nowadays because I don't know what happened, but in my city there are only a few parks compared to before.

Use 'Compared to' not 'Comparing to'. Subject-verb agreement: 'number' (singular) takes 'has decreased' rather than 'are decreased'. 'There is only few parks' is wrong: use 'there are only a few parks'. 'Compared to past days' is unidiomatic; use 'compared to before' or 'compared to past years'.

× Umm, no, because I'm mostly interested in where go to restaurants and cafes because I like to uh, enjoy or taste or.

✓ Umm, no, because I'm mostly interested in going to restaurants and cafes since I like to enjoy and taste different foods.

Use 'interested in going' (correct verb+preposition pattern) and 'since' for reason. 'Where go to restaurants' is ungrammatical; use 'going to restaurants'. Complete the sentence with 'different foods' for clarity.