Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答比較口語且有許多填充詞（如 umm、so），句子時態不一致（enjoy when I was a child 應用過去式），細節可以更具體。建議：1) 減少填充詞，保持流暢；2) 主句用清晰的時態（過去式）並加一兩個具體細節（如玩什麼遊戲、哪類食物）；3) 使用連接詞來組織句子但不要冗長。

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks when I was a child because I often played hide-and-seek with my friends and we shared homemade snacks like sandwiches and fruit. Those afternoons were relaxed and full of laughter.

提案: 回答表達了觀點但較重複且有很多填充詞，語法和詞彙可以更自然且精簡。建議：1) 用一到兩句直接表達看法，避免重複；2) 提供具體方式說明如何放鬆（例如散步、冥想、運動）；3) 使用連接詞簡潔說明結果。

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because walking among trees and listening to birds helps me relax. After a short walk or some light exercise, I feel less stressed and more focused.

提案: 回答內容清楚且有例子，但語言仍含填充詞且句子可以更具體和有結構。建議：1) 直接回答然後用2-3個具體理由支持；2) 用更精準的詞彙（例如 community space, outdoor activities）；3) 把例子簡潔化並說明頻率或感受。

例: Yes, I would. More parks would provide community spaces for outdoor activities and socialising. For example, I often visit a nearby park to read and chat with friends, which helps me unwind after a busy week.

提案: 回答包含個人願望和原因，但語言口語化（wanna, umm）且細節重複。建議：1) 使用更正式的詞彙（want to）；2) 給出一兩個具體活動或預期感受（如見到角色、參加遊樂設施）；3) 精簡並避免重複個人原因。

例: I would like to visit Disneyland because I grew up watching Mickey Mouse and it would be exciting to see the characters and experience the themed rides. I think it would be a fun, nostalgic trip.

× Yes, umm, I enjoy going to parks when I was a child 'cause I could umm, hang out with my friend and we can play games and then we can share our foods. So, umm, I like going to parks as a child.

✓ Yes, umm, I enjoyed going to parks when I was a child 'cause I could, umm, hang out with my friends and we could play games and share our food. So, umm, I liked going to parks as a child.

原句把描述过去经历的动词用现在时（enjoy, can），时态不一致。应使用过去时描述儿童时期的习惯或经历：enjoy → enjoyed；can → could；we can → we could。此外，friend应复数friends，food通常用不可数不用复数形式。建议：讲过去经历时统一使用过去时，名词复数与不可数注意区分。

× Definitely, yes 'cause I think going to parks can help me relax and help me to, umm, decrease my pressure. So, umm. I can have a good mood and then, umm, become more calm. So that's all.

✓ Definitely, yes, 'cause I think going to parks can help me relax and help me reduce my stress. So, umm, I can be in a good mood and become calmer. So that's all.

原句存在词汇搭配和形容词/副词使用问题：decrease my pressure不地道，常用reduce my stress；have a good mood应为be in a good mood；more calm用法可改为calmer（比较级）或more calm，两者中calmer更简洁。建议使用自然搭配（reduce my stress, be in a good mood, become calmer）。

× I think yes, 'cause, umm, parks can become a good place for people to meet, to play and to relieve their stress. For example, I always go to park with my friends and, uh, read books together.

✓ I think so, 'cause, umm, parks can be a good place for people to meet, play and relieve their stress. For example, I always go to the park with my friends and read books together.

原句存在动词和冠词使用问题：become a good place语义可改为be a good place更自然；to meet, to play, to relieve并列中可省略重复的to，用动词原形并列；go to park缺少定冠词the；此外句首I think yes不太自然，改为I think so。建议注意并列动词形式一致以及冠词用法。

× Well, I wanna go to Disneyland in the future because there's many cute characters in Disneyland, umm, for example, Mickey Mouse, umm 'cause I watch the cartoon of Mickey Mouse when I was a child, so I would like to go.

✓ Well, I want to go to Disneyland in the future because there are many cute characters at Disneyland, for example Mickey Mouse, because I watched the Mickey Mouse cartoons when I was a child, so I would like to go.

原句有多处时态与主谓一致及固定搭配问题：口语wanna改为标准want；there's（there is）后接复数应为there are；in Disneyland可用at Disneyland更自然；watch the cartoon of Mickey Mouse时态应为过去：watched the Mickey Mouse cartoons；cartoon用复数更合适。建议注意 there is/are 的一致、地点介词的常用搭配、过去经历使用过去时以及名词单复数。