Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 用更简洁明确的话直接回答问题，避免重复和填充词（如 "umm", "uh"）。主句后用一两句具体细节支持（例如一个具体记忆或活动），使用连接词使表达更连贯。注意时态一致（过去式），并改正部分搭配错误（例如“connected with nature”，“feel the scent of flowers”）。

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I remember spending afternoons there with my family, playing on the swings and picking wildflowers, which made me feel relaxed and close to nature.

提案: 减少口头禅并直接表达观点，注意时态（现在时）。用一两句具体例子说明如何帮助缓解压力，比如散步、深呼吸或做运动，并使用连接词（therefore, so, for example）增强逻辑性。避免重复意思相近的短语。

例: Yes, I do. Parks help me relax when I'm stressed, so I often go for a short walk or do deep-breathing exercises there to calm down and clear my mind.

提案: 回答要更准确并注意句子结构与单词拼写（例如“Chengdu”，“parks”）。直接表达观点后给出具体原因（如方便就近休闲、改善空气质量、丰富植物种类）。使用连接词（because, for example, and）并避免冗余词汇。

例: Yes, I would. Although Chengdu already has many parks, I would like more nearby green spaces because they make it easier to relax after work and offer a greater variety of plants and scenery.

提案: 保持简洁并纠正用词（例如“saw it on the Internet”，“uncolourful” 应为 “very colourful” 或 “stunning”），减少重复并用一两句说明具体吸引你的地方（例如湖泊、步道或独特景观），使用连接词（because, for example）使表述连贯。

例: Yes, I want to visit Gongxing Forest Park in Shanghai because I saw pictures of its colorful lakes and forest paths online, which looked magical and reminded me of scenes from childhood fairy tales.

× I think I like going to parks as a child because umm, when I was a child, going to the parks makes me real, uh, refreshing and comfortable.

✓ I think I liked going to parks as a child because, when I was a child, going to the parks made me feel really refreshed and comfortable.

原句在表达过去习惯或过去感受时，时态应使用过去式而不是现在式。句中“I think I like”与“when I was a child”时间不一致，应改为“I think I liked”；“going to the parks makes me real...refreshing”应改为过去式“made me feel really refreshed”且将“real”改为副词“really”，并补上“feel”使表达自然。建议在叙述过去事件时统一使用过去时态。

× I feel I am connected with the nature and just feel the fragrance of the flowers and feel the light of the sky and every.

✓ I feel I was connected with nature and could smell the fragrance of the flowers and see the light in the sky and everything.

原句中代词和冠词使用不当：应去掉“the”用于不可数的“nature”；句子时态应与叙述的过去时间一致，用过去式“was connected”；“feel the fragrance”更自然用“could smell the fragrance”或“smelled”；“feel the light of the sky”改为“see the light in the sky”。最后的“and every”不完整，应改为“and everything”或省略。建议注意代词/冠词搭配并保持时态一致。

× I think I still like going to parks now because, uh, when I was stressed and anxious, going to the parks gives me a space and time to calm down and I really need that time and space.

✓ I think I still like going to parks now because, when I am stressed and anxious, going to the parks gives me space and time to calm down, and I really need that time and space.

句中关于现在的陈述应把条件用现在时（when I am stressed）而不是过去时（when I was stressed），因为句子总体在描述现在的习惯。其余动词“gives”保持现在时与主语一致。建议区分描述现在习惯的条件从句用现在时。

× And parks are very great place for us to just slow down our pace and to really spend time with ourselves.

✓ And parks are a great place for us to slow down our pace and really spend time with ourselves.

原句中主谓或名词短语搭配不当：“parks are very great place”在数和冠词上不一致。应使用“parks are a great place”或“parks are great places”。此外“very great”不太自然，改为“a great place”更地道。建议注意名词单复数和冠词的一致性，并尽量避免冗余修饰词。

× Definitely Miss Chengdu has a lot of parks now, but still I wanted have more because sometimes the parts are very, you know, far away from our homes.

✓ Definitely. Chengdu has a lot of parks now, but I still want to have more because sometimes the parks are, you know, far away from our homes.

原句有多处冠词和词序错误：开头“Definitely Miss Chengdu”应分成两个句子或加逗号且不应有“Miss”；“I wanted have more”时态与语境不符，应为现在时“I still want to have more”；“the parts”是拼写/用词错误，正确为“the parks”。建议检查人名与感叹词分隔、动词时态和名词拼写/冠词使用。

× And if I can go to a lot of more parks, I can see more colorful flowers and more different diversified, uh, sceneries.

✓ And if I can go to many more parks, I can see more colorful flowers and more diverse scenery.

原句中量词和词序不当：“a lot of more”不符合英语习惯，改为“many more”；“more different diversified”重复且不自然，应简化为“more diverse”或“diverse”；“sceneries”常用不可数形式“scenery”。建议学习常见量词搭配（a lot of, many, much）并避免重复的形容词。

× Yes, I want to go to Gongxing Forest Park in Shanghai because I once saw it at the Internet.

✓ Yes, I want to go to Gongxing Forest Park in Shanghai because I once saw it on the Internet.

此句主要问题不是时态而是介词使用：英语中常用“on the Internet”而不是“at the Internet”。句首“Yes, I want to go”可表示将来愿望，用simple present也可接受。建议记住固定搭配“on the Internet / online”。

× It was really uncolourful and it was just like a a like the in a fairy tale and umm, I think it reminds me of my childhood when I watched those Disney movies.

✓ It looked really colourful and was just like something in a fairy tale, and I think it reminded me of my childhood when I watched those Disney movies.

原句形容词使用和时态混乱：若指外观用“looked”更自然；“uncolourful”含义不明确，应为“colourful”；重复短语“a a like the in a fairy tale”不通顺，应改为“like something in a fairy tale”；最后从句与过去时间一致，应该用过去式“reminded”。建议注意形容词的正反义、避免重复并保持时态一致。