Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more accurate with tense and sentence structure, avoid filler words, and add one specific detail. Start with a clear topic sentence, use past tense consistently, and include a brief reason with a specific example. Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because I often played on the swings and slides with my cousin. For example, every Sunday my parents would take us to the biggest park in our neighborhood where we spent hours racing down the slides.

提案: Give a concise, fluent answer and avoid repetition. Use present simple for current habits, organise thoughts with a linking phrase, and include a brief reason and a specific activity. Limit to 2–3 sentences and remove fillers like 'just' and 'yeah'.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because I like outdoor activities. For instance, I often meet friends there to play football or relax on the grass, which helps me unwind after work.

提案: Provide a direct opinion followed by a clear reason and a specific benefit. Correct minor grammar (remove duplicate words) and use a linking word like 'because' or 'so that'. Keep answer to 2–3 sentences and add a concrete example of benefit.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they give people more places to relax and exercise. For example, new parks would make it easier for my friends and me to meet nearby for weekend walks or picnics.

提案: Avoid vague negative language and expand with a specific reason or a possible change. Start with a clear statement, then explain why and, if possible, suggest what would make parks appealing. Use more precise vocabulary instead of fillers like 'like' and 'really'.

例: Not at the moment, because most parks in my city lack interesting facilities. If a park added a playground, walking trails and good seating, I would definitely plan to visit it in the future.

× Ah yes, I like going to parks as a child because I can play swings and slides there with my cousin and my parents usually bought me there at weekend.

✓ Ah yes, I liked going to parks as a child because I could play on swings and slides there with my cousin, and my parents usually took me there at weekends.

The sentence mixes present tense 'like' with past context 'as a child'; use past tense 'liked'. Modal 'can' should be past 'could'. Use correct verb 'took' instead of 'bought' (wrong verb). Use preposition 'on' with swings and plural 'weekends'. Also add a comma before 'and' for clarity.

× Yeah, I still like going to parks now because it's just like it's fun and I just like to play with swing slides and everything, but I just prepare, prefer to play with friends or yeah, like cousin and other things.

✓ Yeah, I still like going to parks now because it's fun and I like to play on swings and slides and everything, but I generally prefer to play with friends or with my cousin and others.

Remove redundant fillers 'just like it's' and multiple 'just'. Use 'play on swings' and 'slides'. Replace 'prepare' with 'prefer' and remove extra 'yeah'. Use 'with my cousin' and 'others' for clarity. Maintain present tense 'like' and 'prefer'.

× Yes, I would like to to see more parks in my city so I can hang out together with my friends or my cousin there and it will be very fun.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city so I can hang out there with my friends or my cousin, and it would be very fun.

Remove duplicated 'to to'. Place 'there' after 'hang out' and use conditional 'would' consistently in the second clause ('would be' not 'will be') because 'would like' sets a hypothetical tone. Add a comma before the final conjunction for clarity.

× I don't really have any parks that I will go to in the future because the parks in my city are like really boring and not fun.

✓ I don't really have any parks that I plan to go to in the future because the parks in my city are really boring and not fun.

Use 'plan to go to' instead of awkward 'will go to' after 'don't really have any' to express future intention. Remove filler 'like' before 'really boring'. Maintain present tense description of the parks ('are').