Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your response grammatically correct, more concise, and include a clear topic sentence plus one specific supporting detail. Avoid redundancy and small errors (e.g., ‘going park’ → ‘going to parks’, ‘very outdoor persons’ → ‘very outdoorsy’). Use a linking word to connect ideas (e.g., ‘because’ or ‘so’). Keep it to 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I went almost every day to the park near my house because I enjoyed playing tag and football with my friends.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence about your current preference, then briefly explain how your habits changed with a specific reason. Remove filler words (‘like’, ‘so’) and fix tense/word errors (‘I didn’t go to parks’). Use a linking word such as ‘however’ or ‘but’ to show contrast.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. However, during junior high I rarely went, but recently I have started visiting parks again because they are relaxing and good for exercise.

提案: Answer directly and state your opinion clearly (yes or no) with one concrete reason. Avoid repeating phrases and long hesitations. Correct grammar (e.g., ‘enough parks’, ‘there should be more’ or ‘there shouldn’t be more’) and use a linking phrase to introduce your reason (e.g., ‘because’).

例: I don't think we need many more parks in my city because maintaining them would be expensive and could reduce space for housing and businesses.

提案: State your main choice clearly and give one or two specific reasons for wanting to visit. Fix grammar and word order (e.g., ‘parks in other countries’, ‘especially Central Park in New York’). Use precise details instead of vague phrases (‘I heard there are many animals’ → name features you want to see).

例: Yes, I would love to visit parks abroad, especially Central Park in New York, because it is huge and has famous landmarks, lakes, and wildlife I want to see.

× I used to enjoy going park and playing there with my friends because I have very outdoor persons.

✓ I used to enjoy going to the park and playing there with my friends because I was a very outdoorsy person.

Missing preposition 'to' after 'going' and missing article 'the' before 'park' are errors of verb + -ing usage and articles; 'have very outdoor persons' is ungrammatical: replace with 'was a very outdoorsy person' to express past habitual state. Suggestion: use 'going to' + 'the park' and use adjective 'outdoorsy' with correct tense 'was' to match past timeframe.

× It's like every almost every day I went out and straight to park near my house.

✓ It was like almost every day I went out straight to the park near my house.

Use singular count noun 'park' requires article 'the' and word order should be 'almost every day'. Also change 'It's like' to 'It was like' to match past narrative. Suggestion: use 'the park' for a specific park and keep tense consistent.

× So like when I was in junior high school, I didn't I sell them went to park at all.

✓ So when I was in junior high school, I didn't really go to the park at all.

The original contains garbled words 'I sell them' and wrong verb form 'went' after 'didn't'. After auxiliary 'didn't' the base form 'go' is required. Also include article 'the' for a specific park and adverb 'really' for intended emphasis. Suggestion: after 'didn't' use base verb, and place modifiers correctly.

× But like I found it, it's like actually a good time to go to park.

✓ But I found that it's actually a good time to go to the park.

Missing article 'the' before 'park' and awkward filler words removed; 'found that' introduces a clause. Suggestion: use 'go to the park' and avoid repetitive fillers for clarity.

× Well, I don't think there are enough park in my city already, so I don't think they should be more because it might be, it might have a bad, it might be it might have a drawbacks having so much park.

✓ Well, I don't think there are enough parks in my city, so I don't think there should be more because it might have drawbacks to having so many parks.

Countable noun 'park' needs plural 'parks' after 'enough' and preposition 'in' is correct; 'they should be more' is incorrect subject; use 'there should be more'. 'A drawbacks' mixes singular and plural; use 'drawbacks' and 'so many parks' for plural. Suggestion: use correct plural forms and 'there should be' structure.

× Are there any parks you want to go to in the future?

✓ Are there any parks you would like to go to in the future?

Original is understandable but more polite and idiomatic uses 'would like' for future preferences. Suggestion: use 'would like to' when talking about future desires.

× Yes, I really want to go to parks in other country, especially the in the new I New York, the Central Park, which is very big, I think the biggest park in the world.

✓ Yes, I really want to go to parks in other countries, especially the new one in New York, Central Park, which is very big; I think it is one of the biggest parks in the world.

Use plural 'countries' after 'other' and article 'the new one' to refer to 'new park' or 'new place'; remove duplicate words 'the in the new I New York'. 'Central Park' does not need 'the' before its proper name; 'biggest park in the world' is likely inaccurate, so safer to say 'one of the biggest parks'. Suggestion: use correct pluralization, articles, and accurate comparative phrasing.

× And they are also many animals I heard.

✓ And I heard there are also many animals.

Pronoun and word order errors: 'they are also many animals I heard' misplaces subject and object. Use 'I heard there are' + subject 'many animals'. Suggestion: place 'I heard' at start or 'I heard that' and use correct subject-verb order.