Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., “Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child.”) then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and filler words, and correct basic grammar (past tense: enjoyed, spent, dropped off).

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child because I often spent time there with my family. For example, we would have picnics and I sometimes walked my friends to the playground, which made those visits very memorable.

提案: Give a clear, structured response: one topic sentence plus one or two specific reasons with linking words. Remove hesitations and repetitions. Use present simple tense consistently and provide a brief example of activities you do there.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me relax and meet friends. For instance, I usually go with a group of friends to walk, chat and have coffee, which helps me unwind after a busy week.

提案: Answer the question directly, then give clear reasons and a concise example. Avoid fillers (‘um’, ‘uh’) and repeated words. Use linking words such as ‘because’ and ‘so’ to create coherence, and mention specific benefits of more parks (e.g., recreation, health, community spaces).

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide space for exercise and community activities. For example, additional parks would make it easier for people who work long hours to find nearby places to walk or relax after work.

提案: Be specific and organized: state the places you want to visit, give reasons with one or two supporting details, and avoid vague or irrelevant comments. Use comparative language correctly and remove hesitations. If mentioning a feature (like outdoor cinemas), explain briefly why it appeals to you.

例: Yes, I would like to visit national parks in the United States, Canada and Australia because of their dramatic landscapes and wildlife. For instance, I want to see Banff National Park in Canada for its turquoise lakes and hiking trails, and Yellowstone in the US for its geothermal features.

× Yes, I like going to the park as a child because I spend time with my family.

✓ Yes, I liked going to the park as a child because I spent time with my family.

The question asks about a past habit (as a child), so past tense should be used. Use 'liked' and 'spent' to match the past timeframe. Suggestion: when referring to past routines use simple past (I liked, I played, I spent).

× I remember when I was going there to to drop my my friends.

✓ I remember when I used to go there to drop off my friends.

The original mixes continuous past and has repetition and wrong verb 'drop' without particle. For past habitual actions use 'used to' or 'would' and 'drop off' is the correct phrasal verb for leaving friends at a place. Also remove repeated words and extra 'to'.

× Yes, of course I like so much.

✓ Yes, of course I liked it very much.

Referring to childhood, so past tense is appropriate: 'liked'. Also 'so much' needs an object; use 'liked it very much' for clarity and correct adverb placement.

× Of course I like going yes because I feel comfortable when I go there.

✓ Of course I still like going because I feel comfortable when I go there.

The examiner asked about now, so present tense 'like' is correct, but the original has redundant 'yes' and awkward ordering. Add 'still' to contrast past and present. Keep present simple for habitual actions ('I like', 'I feel', 'I go').

× I usually go there with my friends to spend our time and to relax too.

✓ I usually go there with my friends to spend time and relax.

Redundant phrasing 'spend our time' and 'to' before 'relax' is unnecessary. Simplify to 'spend time and relax' for natural sentence structure and parallel verbs.

× Yes, I I have a very nice park, Yes, in our country, yes.

✓ Yes, we have a very nice park in our country.

Pronoun and verb agreement and repetition are awkward. If referring to country parks generally, 'we have' is natural. Remove repeated 'yes' and extra commas. Ensure subject-verb alignment: 'we have' or 'I have' depending on meaning.

× Of course, I would like to see more parks in my city because, umm, it's, it's still uh, on my mind, uh, to, to, to see there.

✓ Of course I would like to see more parks in my city because it's still on my mind to visit them.

Remove filler words and repetitions. Use 'would like to' correctly and 'visit them' or 'visit more parks' rather than vague 'to see there'. Make the object explicit and grammatically correct.

× Umm, I don't have a lot of time, but uh, when I have time, I will go to visit uh, some, some parks yes in my city.

✓ I don't have a lot of time, but when I do, I will visit some parks in my city.

Simplify fillers and use correct future form: 'I will visit' is fine. 'Go to visit' is redundant; use either 'go to' or 'visit'. Remove repeated words and extra 'yes'.

× Of course, kind of I would like to visit some parks in the United States of America, Canada or Australia.

✓ Of course, I would like to visit some parks in the United States, Canada, or Australia.

'Kind of' is informal and vague; remove it. Use standard country names and commas. Maintain parallel list structure and remove filler words.

× They are more beautiful than our country.

✓ They are more beautiful than those in our country.

The comparison lacks a clear object. 'Our country' is being compared to 'they' (parks); rephrase to compare parks: 'those in our country' clarifies the comparison target.

× Uh, everything, uh, I like, I enjoy it watching movie in that movie there, there, there are some parts.

✓ Also, I enjoy watching movies set in those parks because there are some memorable scenes.

Original is fragmented and unclear with repetition and wrong structure. Provide a coherent sentence: 'I enjoy watching movies... because there are some memorable scenes.' Keep tense consistent (present simple for general likes) and remove fillers.