Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve natural phrasing and fix small grammar errors. Make the answer slightly more specific (e.g., frequency or a brief memorable detail) and avoid redundancy. Use a topic sentence then one or two supporting details with a linking word.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I used to visit a small park near my home almost every weekend with my friends and my cousin, where we played badminton and raced each other around the playground. Those outings were memorable because we always ended them with ice cream from a nearby stall.

提案: Remove fillers like “Uh” and improve cohesion by using linking phrases. Add a brief specific example of how a park helps you relax to make the answer more concrete.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. Although my busy schedule limits my visits, I try to go at least once every two weeks because walking among trees and listening to birds helps me clear my mind and reduce stress after a long workday.

提案: Correct grammar and vocabulary ("parks" not "parts") and begin with a clear topic sentence. Expand with a specific benefit and a linking word to show cause-effect or contrast.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city. More parks would give residents peaceful places to exercise and spend time with family, and they would also improve air quality and biodiversity in urban areas.

提案: Avoid fillers and use plural forms and articles correctly ("famous botanical gardens" and "peaceful surroundings"). Add a specific named park or describe one activity you want to do there to make the answer more vivid.

例: Yes, I'd love to visit some famous botanical gardens and national parks in India, such as Keoladeo National Park. I want to go birdwatching there and photograph the diverse landscapes because I enjoy peaceful surroundings and natural scenery.

× I often went to nearby park with my friends and cousin to play badminton, run around and enjoy the fresh air.

✓ I often went to the nearby park with my friends and my cousin to play badminton, run around and enjoy the fresh air.

Missing definite article 'the' before 'nearby park' is incorrect; use 'the nearby park'. Also add 'my' before 'cousin' for clarity. Suggestion: use 'the' with specific locations and include possessive adjectives for people. ID:17

× Although I don't go very often because of my busy schedule, I enjoy visiting park whenever I get a chance.

✓ Although I don't go very often because of my busy schedule, I enjoy visiting parks whenever I get a chance.

Countable noun 'park' needs an article or plural form. Here plural 'parks' fits general meaning. Alternatively 'the park' could refer to a specific park. Suggestion: use plural for general activities: 'visiting parks'. ID:17

× They help me relax and refresh my mind.

✓ Parks help me relax and refresh my mind.

Pronoun 'They' refers to parks but the previous sentence changed to 'visiting parks'; it's clearer to use the noun 'Parks' or ensure antecedent exists. Original had 'They' after 'visiting park' which was singular/plural mismatch. Suggestion: keep nouns and pronouns consistent: 'Parks help me...'. ID:1

× Definitely more parts would provide people with a a peaceful place to exercise, spend time with family and enjoy nature.

✓ Definitely more parks would provide people with a peaceful place to exercise, spend time with family and enjoy nature.

Typo 'parts' should be 'parks'; 'a a' duplicates article; after correcting to 'parks' consider agreement: 'provide people with peaceful places' or 'provide people with a peaceful place'. Suggestion: 'more parks would provide people with peaceful places' or keep singular 'a peaceful place' if speaking generally. Here corrected to 'a peaceful place' and fixed article duplication. ID:17

× Uh, yes, I'd love to visit some famous Botanical Garden and national parks in India.

✓ Uh, yes, I'd love to visit some famous botanical gardens and national parks in India.

Use plural 'botanical gardens' to match 'some' and lowercase 'botanical garden' in general reference. Also parallel structure: 'botanical gardens and national parks'. Suggestion: pluralize and use consistent capitalization for common nouns. ID:17

× I enjoy beautiful landscape and peaceful surrounding.

✓ I enjoy beautiful landscapes and peaceful surroundings.

Countable nouns 'landscape' and 'surrounding' should be plural to express general appreciation. Also 'surroundings' is the correct noun. Suggestion: pluralize both nouns: 'beautiful landscapes and peaceful surroundings'. ID:13