Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and clear: answer the question about childhood first, use past tense and one clear topic sentence, then add 1–2 supporting details with linking words. Correct grammar (past tense, articles) and avoid repetition. Be specific about feelings or experiences (e.g. allergic reactions to insects or food at parks).

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child. However, I often had allergic reactions to insect bites and sometimes disliked the food sold there, so my visits were limited. Therefore, I usually preferred staying closer to home rather than spending long hours outdoors.

提案: Answer directly with present tense, give a concise reason using clear linking words (because, so, therefore) and one specific detail about when or what bothers you. Use natural phrasing and avoid filler words. Keep it under five sentences.

例: No, I don't enjoy going to parks now because there are many insects in the afternoons. As a result, I prefer indoor activities like visiting museums or going to the gym to avoid discomfort.

提案: Start with a clear statement (yes/no) and then explain benefits using linking words (because, for example). Use specific reasons (exercise space, relaxation, community events) and correct noun forms. Keep language natural and avoid vague fillers.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide space for exercise and relaxation. For example, parks allow people to jog, play sports, or meet friends, which helps improve community health and wellbeing.

提案: Give a direct answer and then provide specific details: location, features you like, and reason. Use correct grammar for place descriptions and phrases (e.g., "a park in China that has many flowers"). Use linking words (because, so) and avoid hesitation sounds. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I would like to visit a park in China that is famous for its flowers because I love colorful gardens. For instance, I hope to see seasonal blooms and take photos while walking along the flower-lined paths.

× I think right now I'm don't like to go park because I'm very sensitive food, insects and I will feel like itchy.

✓ I think right now I don't like going to parks because I'm very sensitive to food and insects and I feel itchy.

Errors: incorrect contraction 'I'm don't', verb form after 'like' should be gerund, missing prepositions 'to' after 'sensitive' and before 'parks', plural 'parks' more natural, and 'will feel like itchy' is wrong tense and structure. Suggestion: use 'I don't like going to parks', 'sensitive to', and 'I feel itchy'. Use present simple for current habitual state.

× So yeah, right now I'm I'm kind of like the light to go park.

✓ So yeah, right now I'm kind of reluctant to go to parks.

Errors: awkward phrasing 'the light to go park' and repeated 'I'm'. Use correct collocation 'reluctant to' and include preposition 'to' and plural 'parks' for natural expression. This fixes sentence structure and meaning.

× No, at the same reason because I'm like when as afternoon I think it's heavy insect and maybe indoor activity is better than outside.

✓ No, for the same reason. In the afternoon there are many insects, and maybe indoor activities are better than being outside.

Errors: 'at the same reason' should be 'for the same reason'; awkward temporal clause 'when as afternoon'; 'it's heavy insect' incorrect subject and number; missing plural 'insects'; 'activity' should be plural and parallel structure. Suggestion: use 'In the afternoon there are many insects' and 'indoor activities are better than being outside'.

× Yeah, I want to see more park in my city.

✓ Yeah, I want to see more parks in my city.

Error: singular 'park' after 'more' should be plural 'parks'. Use plural when referring to an increased number. Suggestion: 'more parks'.

× I think park is it is a pages so helpful, like a sorry lag people can go to do activity like such, but it's cool.

✓ I think parks are very helpful because people can go there to do activities; they're really nice.

Errors: 'park is it is a pages' is ungrammatical and unclear; wrong pronoun use and number agreement: 'park' vs 'parks', 'is it is' redundant, 'people can go to do activity like such' awkward. Suggestion: simplify to 'parks are very helpful' and use 'people can go there to do activities'.

× Yes, of course. Umm, the park that I want to go is located China is have a lot of the flower because I'm the person in love with the father, so I want to go to save flower, Yeah.

✓ Yes, of course. The park I want to visit is in China and has many flowers because I love flowers, so I want to go see them.

Multiple errors: 'the park that I want to go is located China' needs preposition 'in' and 'visit' is better than 'go'; 'is have a lot of the flower' incorrect verb and articles; 'I'm the person in love with the father' likely meant 'I love flowers'; 'go to save flower' incorrect verb. Suggestion: use 'I want to visit', 'is in China and has many flowers', and 'I love flowers, so I want to see them'.