Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct with a clear topic sentence, avoid hesitations and repetition, use plural/singular correctly, and give one or two specific supporting details. Keep it natural and within 2–4 sentences.

例: Not really. There weren’t many parks where I grew up, so I usually went to open fields instead to play football and volleyball. I preferred those spaces because they were bigger and more suitable for team games.

提案: Start with a clear statement about your current preference, avoid unclear words (e.g. 'peas', 'clean paste'), and give specific reasons using linking words (because, so, therefore). Limit to 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I do like going to parks now because I enjoy spending time in green areas and relaxing away from crowded places. For example, I often go for a short walk or to read a book under a tree when I need to unwind.

提案: Answer directly and use correct grammar (e.g. 'I would like' or 'Yes, I would') and link reasons with 'because' or 'so'. Provide specific examples of activities that would benefit from more parks.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide peaceful spaces and extra room for community events. For instance, families could use them for picnics and children could have safe places to play sports.

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence naming the park, then give concise, relevant reasons and a brief personal connection. Avoid filler words and repetition. Use one or two specific details about what you want to do there.

例: Yes. I’d love to visit Hoopiland, a water park near Kathmandu Valley, because it looks fun and relaxing. My friend visited last year and shared photos of the rides and pools, which inspired me to go and try the slides myself.

× To be honest, I don't like to go park.

✓ To be honest, I don't like to go to parks.

The sentence is missing the preposition 'to' before 'park' and uses singular without article. Use 'go to parks' for general habit. Also 'like to go to' is correct verb + preposition pattern. Suggestion: say 'I don't like to go to parks' or 'I don't like going to parks.'

× Uh, I didn't like to go park when I was tired because in my place there was no go park.

✓ I didn't like to go to parks when I was tired because in my area there were no parks.

Missing prepositions and plural forms. 'Go to parks' requires 'to' and 'parks' plural if none existed. 'There was no go park' is incorrect structure; use 'there were no parks' since plural. Also 'in my place' better as 'in my area.'

× And uh, uh, I usually go, uh, I usually went to field, uh, for playing football and volleyball's game.

✓ I usually went to the field to play football and volleyball.

Mixing present 'go' and past 'went' — context is past so keep past 'went'. Use article 'the field'. Use infinitive 'to play' not 'for playing'. 'Volleyball's game' is incorrect — use 'volleyball'.

× Before this I didn't like to go back, but now, nowadays I, I like to go park because I like peas and spend some time in a greenery area and uh, uh, instead of living to the crowd place, I like to go fish and uh, clean paste.

✓ Before, I didn't like to go back, but now I like to go to parks because I like peace and to spend time in green areas; instead of staying in crowded places, I like to go fishing and clean places.

Many problems: missing prepositions 'to parks', wrong word 'peas' should be 'peace', 'spend some time in a greenery area' should be 'spend time in green areas', 'living to the crowd place' should be 'staying in crowded places'. Verb forms: 'go fishing' and 'clean places'. Maintain present tense for current habits. Use plural/noun forms appropriately.

× Is I like to see more park in my city because, uh, it is peaceful, uh, and uh, give extra space, uh, for gathering, playing park ceiling and uh, other activities.

✓ I would like to see more parks in my city because they are peaceful and provide extra space for gatherings, playing, picnics, and other activities.

Start 'Is I' is incorrect; use 'I would like'. 'More park' should be 'more parks'. Use plural 'they' to agree. 'Give' should be 'provide'. 'Playing park ceiling' is unclear — likely 'playing, picnics'. Use nouns/gerunds correctly and correct article usage.

× Is there, there is one park with, uh, I want to go in my futures.

✓ There is one park I want to go to in the future.

Remove extra 'Is there'. Use 'There is' once. 'With, uh' unnecessary. 'In my futures' incorrect — use 'in the future'. Include preposition 'to' after 'go'.

× It's college Hoopiland.

✓ It's called Hoopiland.

'It's college Hoopiland' is unclear; if meaning the park is named Hoopiland, say 'It's called Hoopiland.' If it is a college, rephrase accordingly. Use correct verb 'called' for naming.

× Hoopiland is a water park nearby the Kathmandu Valley and uh, umm, it is very enjoyable.

✓ Hoopiland is a water park near the Kathmandu Valley, and it is very enjoyable.

Use 'near' instead of 'nearby the'. The phrase 'the Kathmandu Valley' is correct with article. Comma improves flow.

× My friend, uh, in the past days, my friend was good here and he takes some photos.

✓ My friend visited here in the past and he took some photos.

'Was good here' is incorrect — use 'visited' or 'was here'. Tense should be past 'took' not present 'takes'. Avoid unnecessary repetition 'my friend' twice.

× So, uh, I inspired from him, I want to go.

✓ So I was inspired by him, and I want to go.

Use passive 'was inspired by' rather than 'inspired from'. Keep comma separate clauses and maintain correct tense for inspiration (past) and desire (present).