Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatically accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct verb tense and plural forms (e.g., 'parks', 'made'). Avoid redundancy by removing repeated ideas.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often played on the swings and climbed trees, and because many other local children visited the park, I made friends easily. For example, I remember meeting a neighbor who later became my schoolmate.

提案: Give a direct answer and streamline the explanation. Use correct articles and plural/singular forms and avoid filler words. Use a linking word to connect reason and result. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I still like parks, but I rarely visit them now because my schedule is very busy. Therefore, when I have free time I usually rest at home instead of going out. If I had more free time, I would visit a nearby park to relax.

提案: Clarify your main idea and use coherent sentences. Begin with a clear opinion, then support it with specific reasons. Avoid unclear phrases like 'family tree' and ensure logical linking words. Use concrete examples about benefits of parks for families and children.

例: Yes, I would like more parks in the city because they provide safe places for children to play and for families to spend time together. For instance, additional small parks near residential areas would make it easier for parents to take young children outside for exercise and fresh air.

提案: Give a clear short answer and a supporting detail. Avoid vague or unfinished sentences. If you have visited many parks, explain which type you prefer and why. Use linking words to contrast past experience with future preference.

例: Not really — I have visited most local parks already. However, if I had to choose, I would like to visit a large botanical garden because I enjoy walking among different plants and taking photos.

× I like going to park because it has lots of fun in there and I can make a lot of new friends.

✓ I like going to parks because there is a lot of fun there and I can make many new friends.

The noun 'park' should be plural or preceded by an article ('the park'); 'lots of fun in there' is unnatural: use 'there is a lot of fun there'; 'a lot of new friends' is better as 'many new friends' for countable nouns. Suggestion: use 'parks' when speaking generally, use 'many' with countable nouns and avoid extra prepositions like 'in' after 'there'. Grammar problem type ID: 1

× So I remember when I was a child I always make friends in the park.

✓ I remember that when I was a child I always made friends in the park.

The main clause 'I remember' refers to a past habitual action 'when I was a child', so the verb should be in the past tense 'made' rather than present 'make'. Use 'I remember that' to link the clauses. This fixes tense consistency. Grammar problem type ID: 10},{

× I like going to the park now but I don't have time to go to the park because on my busy schedules, uh, time is limited.

✓ I like going to the park now, but I don't have time because my schedule is busy and time is limited.

Use singular 'schedule' for the speaker's timetable; 'on my busy schedules' is incorrect preposition and plurality. Also combine clauses and remove filler 'uh' for clarity. Ensure subject-verb agreement: 'schedule is'. Grammar problem type ID: 6

× So if I have spare time I would go to sleep rather than going to the park.

✓ If I have spare time, I usually go to sleep rather than go to the park.

The original mixes conditional forms. For habitual present choice, use simple present 'usually go' or 'I go'. Use parallel verbs: 'go to sleep rather than go to the park' (not 'going'). This keeps tense consistent with 'If I have'. Grammar problem type ID: 5

× So when my city I think it's in love parks, so everywhere, whether you.

✓ In my city, I think people love parks, so there are parks almost everywhere.

Sentence has disordered structure and missing subjects. Rephrase to a clear subject 'people' and provide correct word order: 'In my city, I think people love parks' and 'there are parks almost everywhere' to express ubiquity. Grammar problem type ID: 26

× Or any places you can think there is a park for children.

✓ In any place you can think of, there is a park for children.

Use 'place' singular or 'places' with plural verb; include 'of' after 'think' ('think of'). Also 'there is' fits singular 'a park'. Better: 'In any place you can think of, there is a park for children.' Grammar problem type ID: 12

× So because when we have a family tree, kids have to make fun.

✓ When we have family outings, children can have fun.

'Family tree' is incorrect here; likely intended 'family time' or 'family outings'. 'Kids have to make fun' is incorrect wording and modal 'have to' implies obligation. Use 'can have fun' to express opportunity. Correct pronoun use and noun choice. Grammar problem type ID: 12

× Not really because I almost went to every park when I was more uh, different places got different fun in the park, but I like the most is.

✓ Not really, because I have been to almost every park when I was younger; different places had different attractions, but my favorite was ...

Use present perfect 'have been to' for life experience, or simple past 'went' with 'when I was younger'. Clarify 'when I was more' to 'when I was younger'. 'Different places got different fun' is unnatural; use 'had different attractions' or 'offered different activities'. End the sentence with the favorite park named. This fixes tense and wording. Grammar problem type ID: 5