Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời cần rõ ràng, đúng ngữ pháp và mạch lạc hơn. Hãy bắt đầu bằng một câu chủ đề trực tiếp trả lời câu hỏi, sau đó thêm 1–2 câu chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ: hoạt động bạn tham gia, cảm xúc). Sử dụng thì quá khứ đều đặn (liked, went) và tránh lỗi từ vựng như “go into the bus”. Sử dụng liên từ đơn giản như “because” hoặc “so” để kết nối ý.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child because there were many activities to join. For example, I often played tag with my friends and we shared stories while sitting under big trees. Those visits made me feel happy and free.

提案: Câu trả lời tốt vì có câu chủ đề rõ ràng, nhưng nên sửa ngữ pháp và sắp xếp ý mạch lạc hơn. Tránh lặp từ (e.g., “together” hai lần) và dùng thì hiện tại đơn cho thói quen. Thêm một chi tiết cụ thể về hoạt động bạn làm ở công viên để làm phong phú câu trả lời, và dùng liên từ như “so” hoặc “and” hợp lý.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I usually go twice a week with my friends, and we often picnic and play frisbee. Going there helps me relax after a busy week.

提案: Câu trả lời có ý tốt nhưng có nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp và từ vựng không chính xác (ví dụ “pounds” -> “parks” hoặc “ponds”?; “reduce pollutions” cần sửa). Bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề ngắn, sau đó giải thích lý do cụ thể (ví dụ: cải thiện chất lượng không khí, chỗ chơi cho trẻ em). Dùng cấu trúc nguyên nhân-kết quả và sửa lại các danh từ/động từ cho đúng dạng số và ngữ pháp.

例: Yes, absolutely. I would like more parks in my city because green spaces improve air quality and provide peaceful places for families. For instance, parks with trees and ponds can help reduce pollution and encourage people to exercise.

提案: Câu trả lời trả lời trực tiếp nhưng cần sửa ngữ pháp và dùng từ chính xác hơn (ví dụ “modern technique” nên là “modern facilities”; “space there is bigger” -> “the spaces are bigger”). Nên nêu ví dụ cụ thể về công viên bạn muốn đến và hoạt động bạn dự định làm. Dùng liên từ để liên kết lý do và kết quả rõ ràng.

例: Yes, I would like to visit parks in Hanoi in the future because they have modern facilities and larger open spaces than my hometown. For example, I hope to try outdoor exercise equipment and join community sports there so I can play more games.

× Yes, I really like go into the bus when I was a child because there was where there were many activities and I can share stories with my friend in there.

✓ Yes, I really liked going to the park when I was a child because there were many activities there and I could share stories with my friends.

The sentence mixes tenses and uses incorrect verb forms. Use past tense 'liked' and the gerund 'going' after 'like' for habitual past actions. 'Go into the bus' is incorrect for visiting a park; use 'going to the park'. 'There was where there were many activities' is redundant; use 'there were many activities there'. 'Can' should be 'could' to match past tense. Use plural 'friends' if referring to more than one. Suggestion: keep verb tenses consistent (past for past experiences), use gerund after 'like', and correct word choice and plurality.

× Yes, I do. Now I'm often going to the park twice a week because I go to with my friends to get there and we can eat together and play together.

✓ Yes, I do. Now I often go to the park twice a week because I go there with my friends and we can eat and play together.

The original uses present continuous 'I'm often going' which is awkward for habitual actions; use simple present 'I often go'. 'Go to with my friends to get there' is ungrammatical; correct phrase is 'go there with my friends'. Redundant 'together' after both verbs can be shortened to 'eat and play together'. Maintain simple present for routines.

× Yes, absolutely. I want to see more pounds in my city was surrounded by nature because it helps reduce pollutions and it makes air become more clean.

✓ Yes, absolutely. I want to see more parks in my city surrounded by nature because they help reduce pollution and make the air cleaner.

'Pounds' is incorrect word; use 'parks'. Remove misplaced 'was'. Use plural 'they' to refer to parks. 'Reduce pollutions' should be 'reduce pollution' (uncountable). 'Makes air become more clean' is ungrammatical; use 'make the air cleaner'. Keep verb agreement and use comparative 'cleaner'.

× Yes, I want to go to parks in Hanoi city because there are many modern technique and space there is bigger than my hometown, so I can play more games in there.

✓ Yes, I want to go to parks in Hanoi because there are many modern facilities and the spaces there are bigger than in my hometown, so I can play more games there.

'Hanoi city' is redundant; 'Hanoi' is sufficient. 'Modern technique' is incorrect; use 'modern facilities' or 'modern technology'. 'Space there is bigger than my hometown' needs plural and comparative structure: 'the spaces there are bigger than in my hometown'. Remove unnecessary 'in' before 'there' at the end. Ensure correct articles and comparative phrasing.