Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is natural and detailed, but slightly long and repetitive. To improve, make the first sentence a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words (for example, “for example” or “because”). Avoid repeating obvious ideas (e.g., "spend hours" and "perfect place to burn off energy" convey the same point).

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because they gave me space to play freely. For example, I used to spend hours on the swings and slides with neighborhood friends, and my parents often packed picnic lunches on weekends, which are some of my fondest memories.

提案: Your answer is relevant but has some inaccuracies and small errors (e.g., “brush in some fresh air,” “go judging”), and repeats ideas. Improve by correcting vocabulary, using a linking word to connect ideas, and adding one specific example of a park activity.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me relax and get fresh air. For instance, I often take brisk walks or sit by a flower bed to read, and I sometimes meet friends there for a picnic or coffee.

提案: Good clear answer with reasons, but watch small grammar and word choice errors (e.g., “clear airs” should be “clearer air” or “cleaner air”). Use a linking word to organise your reasons (e.g., “Firstly,” “Also,” “Finally”) and add a brief concrete example of how extra parks would be used.

例: Yes, I would definitely like more parks in my city. Firstly, they offer an escape from the hustle and bustle, and secondly, more green spaces would provide cleaner air. For example, a new park could host weekend yoga classes and playgrounds for families.

提案: Clear and specific answer, but reduce repetition and correct capitalization/style (e.g., “Big Lake”—use lowercase unless it’s a proper name). Use a linking phrase to list activities and give one precise plan or time frame to sound more natural.

例: Yes, I plan to visit the newly opened park in my city because it reportedly has beautiful gardens and a large lake. I hope to go next weekend to relax, enjoy the scenery, and try jogging and cycling on the lakeside paths.

× They are a great place to unwind and brush in some fresh air.

✓ They are a great place to unwind and get in some fresh air.

The verb phrase 'brush in' is incorrect; 'brush' is not used with 'in' for fresh air. The correct collocation is 'get in some fresh air' or 'get some fresh air.' Use verbs that commonly pair with 'fresh air' to be natural.

× I often go judging or just take a walk to clear my mind, and it's also a nice way to spend the quality time with friends and families.

✓ I often go jogging or just take a walk to clear my mind, and it's also a nice way to spend quality time with friends and family.

'Go judging' is a typo: should be 'go jogging' (verb + -ing form). 'The quality time' is incorrect article usage; use no article: 'quality time.' 'Families' is plural but context implies 'family' as an uncountable concept or 'friends and family.' Also maintain parallelism and correct noun choice.

× Parks provide a great escape from hustle and bustle of city life, and having more green spaces would mean clear airs and a more beautiful environment.

✓ Parks provide a great escape from the hustle and bustle of city life, and having more green spaces would mean clear air and a more beautiful environment.

Omission of definite article before 'hustle and bustle' is incorrect; use 'the hustle and bustle.' 'Clear airs' is nonstandard; 'air' is uncountable here, so use 'clear air.'

× I have heard it has beautiful gardens and a Big Lake and I would love to go there and relax, get some fresh air and maybe even try jogging and cycling around the park.

✓ I have heard it has beautiful gardens and a big lake, and I would love to go there to relax, get some fresh air, and maybe even try jogging and cycling around the park.

Capitalization error: 'Big Lake' should be lowercase unless it is a proper name. Use 'to relax' instead of 'and relax' for smoother infinitive purpose clause. Also add commas for clarity and parallel structure in the list of activities.