Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời cần rõ ràng hơn và mạch lạc: mở đầu bằng câu chủ đề ngắn gọn, sau đó giải thích lý do cụ thể. Tránh thông tin mâu thuẫn (nói thích chỗ đông người nhưng không thích công viên) hoặc giải thích mâu thuẫn đó rõ ràng. Sử dụng liên từ để kết nối ý (for example, because, so) và hạn chế độ dài dưới 5 câu.

例: I didn’t enjoy going to parks as a child. I preferred crowded places like shopping malls because they felt lively and safer. Also, I was afraid of insects, which made me worried about being bitten and getting sick. For these reasons, I avoided parks whenever possible.

提案: Cần trả lời trực tiếp câu hỏi bằng một câu chủ đề rõ ràng, sau đó thêm chi tiết cụ thể và hợp lý. Sửa lỗi ngữ pháp (subject-verb agreement, tense), dùng liên từ để nối ý (however, but, although) và tránh câu dài lủng củng. Giữ tối đa 3–4 câu.

例: I don't often choose to go to parks because I'm introverted and prefer staying at home. However, I would go if a friend invited me because I enjoy the fresh air and peaceful atmosphere. Sometimes going for a short walk in a park helps me relieve stress.

提案: Câu trả lời thiếu rõ ràng và có lỗi ngữ pháp/word choice ("build the power for only picnics" không đúng). Cần nêu quan điểm ngắn gọn, giải thích cụ thể lợi ích của nhiều công viên (ví dụ: sức khỏe cộng đồng, không gian xanh), và dùng từ chính xác. Dùng 2–3 câu, kèm linking words như because or so.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide green spaces for relaxation and exercise. For example, extra parks would help people reduce stress and improve public health. I think the government should invest in safe, well-maintained picnic areas and playgrounds.

提案: Trả lời tốt nhưng cần chỉnh ngữ pháp (tense consistency: use present tense for features) và cô đọng hơn. Bổ sung một hoặc hai chi tiết cụ thể về lý do bạn muốn đến đó, dùng linking words (because, for example) để mạch lạc. Giữ dưới 4 câu.

例: Yes, I would love to visit Central Park in New York City because it is a huge green space ideal for picnics and outdoor activities. For example, I’d enjoy walking its trails, visiting the zoo area, and relaxing on the open lawns. I think it would be a refreshing change from my usual surroundings.

× Well I did enjoy crowded places when I was a child so park is not my favorite place.

✓ Well, I did enjoy crowded places when I was a child, so parks were not my favorite places.

Use plural to match general reference: 'park is not my favorite place' should be 'parks were not my favorite places' because the speaker refers to parks in general and past time. Also add commas for clarity.

× Plus I have a fear of bugs, like I'm afraid they would bite me and cause some kind of illness.

✓ Plus, I have a fear of bugs; I'm afraid they might bite me and cause some kind of illness.

Use 'might' for possibility and keep pronoun 'they' is fine; changed 'would' to 'might' to express possibility. Added punctuation for clarity.

× I'm not a sociable person so I would prefer to stay at home but if someone ask me to go with I would go or sometimes I feel stressed.

✓ I'm not a sociable person, so I would prefer to stay at home, but if someone asks me to go with them I would go; sometimes I feel stressed.

Use third person singular verb form 'asks' after 'someone'. Add object 'them' after 'go with' for clarity and pronoun agreement. Added commas and semicolon to fix sentence structure.

× I would definitely go to have some fresh air in that green space.

✓ I would definitely go to get some fresh air in a green space.

Use 'get' instead of 'have' for idiomatic expression 'get fresh air'. Use 'a green space' to refer to such an area generally. Simplified structure for naturalness.

× Yes, and I think government should build the power for only picnics where people can gather together and relax whenever they feel stressed.

✓ Yes, and I think the government should build parks specifically for picnics where people can gather and relax when they feel stressed.

Add definite article 'the' before 'government'. 'Build the power for only picnics' is incorrect; replaced with 'build parks specifically for picnics'. Also simplified 'gather together' to 'gather' and 'whenever they feel stressed' to 'when they feel stressed' for naturalness.

× Yes, if I had a chance, I would go to Central Park in New York City as it's considered a huge green space where people can gather together for having a picnic.

✓ Yes, if I had the chance, I would go to Central Park in New York City, as it's considered a huge green space where people can gather to have a picnic.

Use 'the chance' instead of 'a chance' in this context. Use 'gather to have a picnic' instead of 'gather together for having a picnic' for correct verb form and idiomatic expression. Added comma for clarity.

× It also had zoo trails and open lawns where people can do outdoor activities.

✓ It also has zoo trails and open lawns where people can do outdoor activities.

Use present tense 'has' to match description of a place that still exists ('Central Park has...'). 'Had' suggests past and could be incorrect. Kept 'can do' for general capability.