Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장이 자연스럽지 않고 문법 오류와 중복이 있습니다. 과거 경험을 말할 때는 과거 시제를 사용하고, 간결한 주제문 뒤에 구체적 이유나 예를 덧붙이세요. 연결어(for example, because)를 사용해 논리적으로 연결하고, 불필요한 반복(예: "park/parks", "I like")을 피하세요. 또한 형용사 사용 시 비교적 정확한 표현("fresh air", "lots of people")을 쓰세요.

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks when I was a child because they had fresh air and many trees. For example, I often played under big trees with my friends, which made my childhood very memorable.

提案: 대답에서 시제와 어순이 어색하며 표현이 부정확합니다. 현재 습관을 말할 땐 현재 시제를 쓰고 빈도 표현(usually, sometimes)을 정확한 위치에 두세요. 감정 표현은 'fun'이나 'exciting'처럼 적절한 형용사를 사용하고, 문장 수를 2~3개로 간결하게 유지하세요.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks now. I sometimes visit them with my roommates, usually after work, and we find it relaxing and fun.

提案: 질문 의도(도시 전반의 공원 수요)에 직접 답하지 않고 특정 공원 설명으로 벗어났습니다. 먼저 질문에 간단히 답한 뒤(Yes/No + 이유), 특정 예를 들고 구체적 세부정보(예: 공원 수, 깨끗함, 시설)를 덧붙이세요. 반복되는 어구와 말더듬을 줄이고 'fresh air'와 같은 표현을 정확히 사용하세요.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because green spaces improve air quality and residents' wellbeing. For instance, near my home, Changchun-dong Park has lots of trees and many visitors, and having more parks like that would be beneficial.

提案: 목표를 말할 때는 'want to go' 등 올바른 동사구를 사용하고, 중복과 횡설수를 피하세요. 장소를 언급할 때는 위치 표현을 자연스럽게 배열하고 과거 경험(가본 적 없음)을 간결하게 부연하세요. 예시나 이유(why you want to go)를 추가하면 답변이 풍부해집니다.

例: Yes, I would like to visit Olympic Park in Seoul because it is famous and has beautiful gardens. I have never been there, so I hope to go next spring to enjoy the scenery and take photos.

× Oh yes I do like I'm going to park as a child because park is very fresh place and I like to see trees and people.

✓ Oh yes, I liked going to parks as a child because parks were very fresh places and I liked to see the trees and people.

The student refers to past habitual actions, so the past tense should be used (liked, were). Singular/plural and articles are incorrect: 'park' should be plural 'parks' or use 'the park' and 'a very fresh place' is needed. Use 'the trees' when referring to specific trees seen there. Suggestion: use past simple for habits in the past and ensure articles and plural nouns agree with meaning.

× Exactly. Yes, I'm sometimes going to parks and work, usually with my roommates. That's very funny and excited.

✓ Yes, I sometimes go to parks and work, usually with my roommates. That's very fun and exciting.

For habitual present actions use simple present (I sometimes go). 'I'm sometimes going' is awkward for routines. 'Funny' describes causing amusement; 'excited' is an adjective for people. Use 'very fun' and 'exciting' to describe the experience. Also 'work' may need 'the' or rephrase depending on meaning (go to work). Suggestion: use simple present for routines and choose correct adjectives.

× Umm actually near my house that is Changchun Dong Park is very fresh air and they they are umm trees and people very many there.

✓ Umm actually, near my house there is Changchun Dong Park. The air is very fresh and there are many trees and people there.

Word order and prepositions were incorrect. Use 'there is' to introduce existence and 'the air is fresh' for weather. 'They they are' is redundant; use 'there are many trees and people.' Also 'very many' should be 'many' or 'a lot of'. Suggestion: use 'there is/there are' for existence and correct word order.

× Oh, I want to, uh, I want going to Olympic Park because Olympic Park is very famous, uh, and Seoul, but I, I, I've been, never go there.

✓ Oh, I want to go to Olympic Park because Olympic Park is very famous in Seoul, but I have never been there.

After 'want' use the infinitive 'to go', not 'going'. Use present perfect 'have never been' to indicate lack of experience up to now. 'Famous, uh, and Seoul' should be 'famous in Seoul'. Suggestion: use 'want to + base verb' and present perfect for life experiences.