Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response grammatical, concise and include a brief supporting detail. Begin with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then add one specific memory or reason using a linking word (e.g., "because" or "because of"). Avoid repetition and incorrect verb forms.

例: Yes, I loved going to the park when I was a child because my parents often took me there to play on the swings and have picnics.

提案: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence (present tense) and use linking words to explain reasons. Correct grammar (verb forms, word order) and avoid filler phrases. Keep it to 1–3 sentences and provide a specific reason or example.

例: Not as much as before. As an adult I am busier with work and studies, so I rarely have time to visit parks during the week.

提案: Give a direct affirmative or negative answer, then support it with specific, well-structured reasons. Use varied vocabulary (e.g., "greenspaces," "cleaner air") and correct grammar. Limit to 2–3 sentences and use linking words like "because" or "so".

例: Yes, I would. I want more parks in my city because they increase green space, improve air quality, and offer a place where people can relax without using their smartphones.

提案: Respond clearly to the question (yes/no) and then explain with a specific reason or prediction. Use conditional or future language correctly, and avoid repeated phrases. Keep it short and include one concrete detail or example.

例: I don't have a particular park in mind, and I worry I might not in the future because new developments are replacing green areas in my city.

× Yeah, I really, really like Go to the Park when I was a child.

✓ Yeah, I really, really liked going to the park when I was a child.

Problems: (1) Past context requires past tense 'liked' rather than present 'like' (Past tense issue - ID 5 and Present tense issue - ID 6). (2) English uses 'like doing' (verb + -ing) to describe enjoyment of activities, so 'going' is needed (Verb + -ing form - ID 8). (3) Common nouns should be lowercase and no unnecessary capitalization. Suggestion: Use 'liked' for past reference and 'going' after 'liked'; write 'the park' in lowercase and include the definite article because it refers to parks in general or a typical park experience.

× I don't think so because if you when you growing up, there are so many things you need to do and you don't have time to go to the park like when you was a child now.

✓ I don't think so because when you grow up there are so many things you need to do and you don't have time to go to the park like you did when you were a child.

Problems: (1) Redundant and misplaced words 'if you when you' — correct structure is 'when you grow up' (Sentence structure errors - ID 26). (2) 'growing up' should be 'grow up' to fit the general present/future idea; using simple present for general truths (Present tense issue - ID 6). (3) 'was' must agree with the subject 'you' in past tense, so use 'were' (Subject-verb agreement / Past tense issue - IDs 27 and 5). (4) Word order and comparison need rephrasing: 'like when you were a child' should be 'like you did when you were a child.' Suggestion: Simplify the conditional/time clause to 'when you grow up' and use 'did' + 'when you were' to compare past habits to current situation.

× MMM of course yes I did. I really really want to see more part in my city because if have many parks it means have many many trees and many clear air and you can stay away from the smartphone.

✓ Mm, of course I do. I really want to see more parks in my city because if we have many parks it means there are many trees and cleaner air and you can stay away from your smartphone.

Problems: (1) Answer to present question should use present tense 'I do' rather than 'I did' (Present tense issue - ID 6). (2) 'part' should be 'parks' (Singular and plural issue - ID 1). (3) Missing subject 'we' or 'there' in conditional clause: 'if have many parks' should be 'if we have many parks' (Incorrect use of pronouns / Sentence structure - IDs 12 and 26). (4) 'means have many many trees' needs 'it means there are many trees' (There be issue / Sentence structure - ID 3 and 26). (5) 'many clear air' should be 'cleaner air' (Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs - ID 13 and Comparative and superlative maybe - ID 25). (6) 'the smartphone' is unnatural; use 'your smartphone' or just 'smartphones' (Article errors / Incorrect use of pronouns - IDs 22 and 12). Suggestion: Use present tense for current preferences, correct plural nouns, include appropriate subjects in conditional clauses, use 'there are' for existence, and use comparative adjective 'cleaner' for improved air quality.

× I don't think so because nowadays there's many buildings building up and I don't think parks is available in the future.

✓ I don't think so because nowadays there are many buildings going up and I don't think parks will be available in the future.

Problems: (1) 'there's' is contraction of 'there is' (singular); with plural 'many buildings' use 'there are' (There be issue / Subject-verb agreement - IDs 3 and 27). (2) 'building up' is awkward; 'going up' or 'being built' is more natural (Verb in the present participle form / Verb + -ing form - IDs 10 and 8). (3) 'parks is available' has subject-verb disagreement and wrong tense/modal: use 'parks will be available' to express future possibility (Subject-verb agreement and Future tense issue - IDs 27 and 7). Suggestion: Match 'there are' with plural 'buildings', use natural progressive phrasing 'going up' or 'being built', and use 'will be' to talk about future availability.