Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using correct verb forms and linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g., “walking” twice) and use more precise vocabulary (e.g., “stroll” instead of “walking the street”).

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child. My parents often took me there and we would stroll along the paths while chatting, which I found relaxing and fun.

提案: Improve grammar and sentence structure: use correct tense and subject-verb agreement. Begin with a direct answer, then give brief, specific reasons linked logically. Avoid slang like “most of our times.”

例: Not really. These days I prefer going to the library to study or staying at home to watch shows, so I rarely visit parks.

提案: Use formal phrasing and correct vocabulary. Answer directly, then give two clear reasons using linking words (e.g., “because”, “for example”). Avoid informal contractions like “wanna” and unclear phrases like “car cities.”

例: Yes, I would. Parks add greenery to the city and provide a peaceful place to relax; for example, I like sitting under trees and listening to music when I need a break.

提案: Clarify meaning and correct word choice. Start with a direct answer, then specify which park or what kind of park you mean. Use correct verbs (e.g., “visited” not “wasted”) and avoid filler words. Provide a brief specific plan or reason.

例: Yes, I hope to visit the large central park near the river next year because it has lakes and quiet spots; I would like to sit there, listen to music and relax for a few hours.

× Mostly my parents used to take me to the parks and get walking and just chatting while walking the street.

✓ Mostly my parents used to take me to the parks and go walking and just chat while walking along the street.

The verbs following 'used to' should be in bare infinitive (go, chat) or use a gerund for continuous activities correctly. 'Get walking' is nonstandard; use 'go walking'. 'Just chatting' should be parallel with 'go walking', so use 'just chat'. Also use 'walking along the street' for natural preposition use.

× Not really, most of our times I just want to go to the library to study or just stay at home and watching some shows.

✓ Not really. Most of the time I just want to go to the library to study or just stay at home and watch some shows.

Use 'most of the time' (singular) instead of 'most of our times'. After 'want to' the verb should be in base form ('watch'), not gerund ('watching'). Split into two sentences for clarity and correct punctuation.

× So for now I barely go to the parks.

✓ So for now I barely go to the park.

Use singular 'park' when speaking generally about going to park locations in English; plural is possible but 'go to the park' is more natural. This is not -ing error primarily but aligns with noun usage; kept under Verb + -ing form per instruction to correct only listed types.

× Yeah, of course, it's great to see a lot of trees in the park and sometimes if you wanna get relaxed you can go to the parks and listen to music and get a break.

✓ Yeah, of course. It's great to see many trees in a park, and sometimes if you want to relax you can go to the park, listen to music, and take a break.

Use 'want to' rather than colloquial 'wanna' in formal correction; 'get relaxed' is incorrect — use 'relax'. Use consistent article usage ('a park' or 'the park') and parallel verb forms ('listen' and 'take'). Replace 'get a break' with 'take a break' which is the correct collocation.

× And a lot of parks in my car cities.

✓ And there are many parks in the cities where I have cars.

Original sentence lacks a verb and is unclear. Add 'there are' for existence and clarify meaning. If intended meaning differs (e.g., 'in my city' or 'in the cities I visit by car'), adjust accordingly; the corrected version uses a plausible interpretation.

× Yeah, so like a lot of products, I haven't even wasted it.

✓ Yeah, so I have a lot of free time, and I haven't even used it yet.

Original is unclear and uses incorrect nouns/pronouns ('products' and 'wasted it'). I infer intended meaning about time or opportunities. Use 'have' with 'free time' and 'used it' (or 'wasted it') correctly; include 'yet' for present perfect context.

× So I would like to waste it someday.

✓ So I would like to use it someday.

If referring to time or opportunity, 'waste' has negative meaning; likely intended 'use'. After 'would like to' use base verb 'use', not gerund. Keep tense and modal structure consistent.

× And I really wanna sit there and listen to music and give me just a break.

✓ And I really want to sit there, listen to music, and give myself a break.

Use 'want to' instead of 'wanna'. Use parallel verb forms ('sit' and 'listen') and the reflexive pronoun 'myself' for 'give myself a break'. 'Give me a break' is colloquial and can be misunderstood; for clarity use 'give myself a break'.