Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer grammatically correct, concise, and add a clear topic sentence followed by one specific supporting detail. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child. I often went there with other children to play games like tag and football, which helped me relax and make friends.

提案: Respond directly with a topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words (for example, because, so). Correct grammar and avoid repeating the same phrase.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me unwind after a busy week. For example, I usually visit a nearby park on weekends to walk, read, or just relax and clear my mind.

提案: Begin with a clear direct answer (Yes/No), then give a concise, specific reason. Avoid hesitations and filler words, and use correct sentence structure and linking words.

例: No, I don't think more parks are necessary because my city already has several well-maintained parks such as the Rose Garden and several small playgrounds for children.

提案: Start with a direct statement and give a specific reason or detail about the park. Correct tense and avoid repeating words. Add one supporting detail about what you expect to do there.

例: Yes, I would like to visit Rose Park in the future because it is known for its beautiful flower displays. I hope to walk through the gardens and take photos of the roses.

× When I was child, I like to go in park because when I was going to the park, many of the children are coming there for playing games for. Refresh their minds.

✓ When I was a child, I liked to go to the park because when I went there, many children came to play games and refresh their minds.

Errors: missing article 'a' before 'child' (article error), incorrect present tense 'like' should be past 'liked' to match 'When I was a child' (present/past tense mismatch, Present tense issue ID 6 and Past tense issue ID 5 but only correcting listed types: changed tense), incorrect preposition 'in park' should be 'to the park' (preposition error), awkward progressive 'when I was going to the park' simplified to 'when I went there' (tense/structure), 'are coming' should be past 'came' to match past context, unnecessary 'for' and fragmented 'Refresh their minds' combined into 'and refresh their minds'. Suggestion: Use consistent past tense for past-time descriptions, include articles, use correct prepositions 'to' and 'the', and avoid sentence fragments by combining clauses with conjunctions.

× Yes, still I like to go in parks because of my busy schedule. Usually I go to park on my weekends for relax my mind for refresh my mind also for taking a break of my busy life.

✓ Yes, I still like to go to parks because of my busy schedule. Usually I go to the park on weekends to relax and refresh my mind and to take a break from my busy life.

Errors: word order 'Yes, still I like' should be 'Yes, I still like' (sentence structure), preposition 'in parks' should be 'to parks' and 'to the park' (preposition), missing article 'the' before 'park' and 'weekends' usage adjusted, incorrect phrase 'for relax my mind' should be 'to relax my mind' (verb + to-infinitive), redundant 'for refresh' corrected to 'and refresh', 'for taking a break of my busy life' should be 'to take a break from my busy life' (preposition and infinitive). Suggestion: Use correct prepositions 'to' and 'from', use infinitive 'to' for purpose, include articles where needed, and place adverbs like 'still' after subject.

× No, I think no, I don't like to move parks in my city because already there are many parks like Rose Garden and mini parks for uh children's also many parks in my city. I don't think so.

✓ No, I don't think so. I don't want to move parks in my city because there are already many parks, such as Rose Garden and several small parks for children.

Errors: awkward double negatives 'No, I think no' simplified to 'No, I don't think so' (sentence structure/modal nuance), incorrect verb 'move parks' unclear—likely meant 'add/move parks' so changed to 'want to move parks' to 'want to add/move' but clarified to 'don't want to move parks' (modal/intent issue), word order 'already there are' corrected to 'there are already', plural noun 'children's' incorrectly possessive changed to 'children' (grammar/proper noun form). Suggestion: Use clear modal verbs to express preference ('don't want to'), keep standard word order 'there are already', avoid unnecessary fillers, and use plural nouns without apostrophe for simple plural.

× Yes, I want go to Rose Park in my future because it was a very beautiful park park.

✓ Yes, I want to go to Rose Park in the future because it is a very beautiful park.

Errors: missing 'to' after 'want' (verb + to-infinitive required), redundant 'park park', tense inconsistency 'it was' changed to 'it is' because the speaker refers to a park that continues to be beautiful (present tense), unnecessary article 'my future' changed to 'the future' or 'in the future'. Suggestion: Use 'want to' + verb, avoid repetition, and keep tense consistent with the current state of the park by using present tense when describing ongoing attributes.