Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more concise, correct tense and grammar, avoid repetition, and add a clear supporting detail using a linking word. Use one topic sentence, then one or two supporting details (specific).

例: Yes, I loved going to the park as a child. For example, there was a park near my home with ground fountains where my friends and I would play every summer, and we often spent whole afternoons running around and splashing in the water.

提案: Reduce hesitations and repetition, use correct verbs and linking words to connect activities, and give a specific routine or frequency to make it more precise.

例: Definitely — I still like going to parks. These days I go with my friends to exercise; for instance, we run three times a week and afterwards we usually grab a coffee and chat about our daily lives.

提案: Answer directly with clear opinion and reasons. Fix grammar and unclear phrasing, use linking words to explain why more parks would be good, and provide a specific benefit or example.

例: I am generally satisfied with the parks in my city, but I would welcome more green spaces because they improve air quality and give people more places to exercise and relax — for example, a new neighborhood park would be great for families.

提案: Be concise, avoid filler words, and give a specific reason and imagined activity. Use correct name (Central Park) and a linking word to make the answer coherent.

例: Yes — I would love to visit New York's Central Park because I have seen it in many films and it looks beautiful; if I go, I would enjoy strolling by the lake and renting a bike to explore the park.

× Near my home there was a park and I love to go there because I love to go there in summer because there was a ground fountains.

✓ Near my home there was a park and I loved to go there in summer because there were ground fountains.

This sentence mixes past and present tenses. The context is childhood (past), so verbs should be in the past tense: 'love' -> 'loved'. Also 'there was a ground fountains' is incorrect: plural noun 'fountains' requires 'were' and 'ground fountains' is awkward; keep 'ground fountains' only if intended, but ensure verb agreement: 'there were ground fountains'. Use consistent past tense for coherence. Suggestion: Maintain past tense for childhood events and ensure subject-verb agreement with plural nouns.

× So I love to play with my friends. During our summer vacation.

✓ So I loved to play with my friends during our summer vacations.

The original has a sentence fragment 'During our summer vacation.' and mixes present 'love' with past context. Combine into one complete past-tense sentence and make 'vacation' plural to match repeated yearly events or keep singular if referring to one specific period. Ensure sentences are complete. Suggestion: Use full sentences and consistent tense: 'I loved to play with my friends during our summer vacations.'

× Definitely yes, because these days I usually go there with my friends to work out.

✓ Definitely yes, because these days I usually go there with my friends to work out.

No grammatical change needed; sentence correctly uses present tense 'these days' and 'usually go'. Suggestion: None.

× Umm these days I do running with my friends and also we just have grab some coffee and talk talk about our daily life.

✓ These days I go running with my friends, and we also just grab some coffee and talk about our daily lives.

'Do running' is incorrect; use 'go running' or 'run'. 'Have grab' is ungrammatical; use 'grab' or 'have some coffee'. Remove duplicated 'talk'. 'Daily life' should be plural 'daily lives' when referring to multiple people. Maintain present simple for habitual actions. Suggestion: Use correct verb patterns: 'go running', 'grab some coffee', and pluralize 'daily lives' when appropriate.

× Well, personally I satisfy with. With parks in our city but if there are few there are more parks will built in the soul.

✓ Well, personally I am satisfied with the parks in our city, but if there are few, more parks should be built in the city.

'Satisfy with' is incorrect; use passive/adjective 'am satisfied with'. The fragment 'With parks in our city' is redundant. 'If there are few' needs clarification: 'if there are few parks' and 'there are more parks will built in the soul' has multiple errors: word order, passive formation and wrong word 'soul' instead of 'city'. Use 'more parks should be built in the city.' Suggestion: Use 'am satisfied with' for state verbs and correct word order, and use 'should be built' for passive recommendation.

× I would love to go because these days many parks are.

✓ I would love to go because there are many parks there these days.

Original is an incomplete sentence 'many parks are' missing location or verb complement. Reorder to 'there are many parks there these days' to form a complete thought. Ensure clarity about the intended meaning. Suggestion: Provide the missing information after 'are', such as location or additional detail.

× I would love to visit umm New York Central Park because I always watch there in the film several films.

✓ I would love to visit New York's Central Park because I have always seen it in several films.

'I always watch there in the film several films' is ungrammatical. Use present perfect 'have always seen' to express experience up to now and 'seen it in several films' to indicate the park appearing in films. Use 'New York's Central Park' or 'Central Park in New York' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: Use 'have seen' for experiences and place 'it' after the verb; restructure to 'I have always seen it in several films.'

× So if I had a chance to go there, I would love to enjoy that place.

✓ So if I have a chance to go there, I would love to enjoy that place.

The conditional 'if I had a chance' suggests an unreal past condition; since the speaker refers to a possible future opportunity, use present simple in the if-clause: 'if I have a chance'. The result clause 'I would love to enjoy that place' is acceptable for a polite hypothetical. Alternatively, for a more certain future: 'If I get a chance to go there, I would love to visit.' Suggestion: Match conditional type: use present tense in real future conditions ('if I have/get a chance').