Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Use correct tense and reduce repetition. Begin with a clear topic sentence in past tense, give one or two specific details about activities, and avoid repeating the same phrase. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and use a linking word if you add details.

例: Yes, I loved going to the park with my cousins when I was a child. We often played tag and climbed trees, which I found exciting. Because we met there every weekend, those visits are some of my fondest childhood memories.

提案: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence and explain briefly why you feel differently now. Use present tense for current feelings and past tense for past feelings, and add one specific reason connected with lifestyle or interests.

例: I don’t go to parks as much now as I did as a child because my schedule is busier. Also, I prefer indoor activities like reading or exercising at the gym, so parks are less appealing to me these days.

提案: Start with a direct opinion sentence, then give a specific reason with clear linking words (for example, "because" or "so"). Avoid fillers and repetition; be concise and mention who benefits from more parks.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because the population has grown a lot. More parks would give children and families safe places to play and would improve our neighbourhoods' quality of life.

提案: Give a clear, complete answer and explain why, with one or two specific benefits or personal reasons. Avoid stuttering and repeated words. Use conditional phrasing correctly if you talk about a future possibility.

例: I would love a water park to open in my city because it would be a fun place to relax and cool down in summer. If one were built nearby, I would visit with friends for a day of slides and swimming.

× Yes, I really enjoy going to the park as a child with my cousins.

✓ Yes, I really enjoyed going to the park as a child with my cousins.

The sentence mixes present tense 'enjoy' with the past time reference 'as a child'. Use past tense 'enjoyed' to match the past timeframe. Suggestion: keep tense consistent by using past tense when referring to past experiences.

× It's was really enjoyable.

✓ It was really enjoyable.

The sentence contains two auxiliary verbs 'It's' (it is) and 'was' together, which is ungrammatical. Remove the incorrect auxiliary and use the simple past 'It was' to describe a past experience.

× I really enjoyed playing with them.

✓ I really enjoyed playing with them.

This sentence is already correct: 'enjoyed' correctly uses past tense to describe a past action. No change needed.

× Not quite much, I enjoy it more when I was a kid.

✓ Not really; I enjoyed it more when I was a kid.

The original mixes present 'enjoy' with past time 'when I was a kid'. Use past tense 'enjoyed' to match the time reference. Also 'Not quite much' is unnatural; 'Not really' is a better phrase. Use a semicolon or short pause to separate responses.

× Uh, life changes.

✓ Uh, life has changed.

The brief utterance 'life changes' is present simple and is awkward here; the speaker intends to explain a change from past to present. Use present perfect 'has changed' to indicate that life changed over time and affects the present.

× Yeah, I really would like to because the numbers of, of the children in my city now are more because it got bigger when I was before, before, uh, it was small and now it's bigger.

✓ Yeah, I would like more parks because the number of children in my city has increased as the city has grown: it used to be small, and now it's bigger.

Problems: 'the numbers of, of the children' is ungrammatical—use singular 'number' with 'of' for a count noun. Tense is inconsistent: use present perfect 'has increased' and 'has grown' to link past growth to the present. Remove repetition and filler words. Break into clearer clauses and use 'used to be' for past state.

× Maybe a water park? Uh, I'd really like to add a water a water park in my city so I can go and play there as an adult now.

✓ Maybe a water park. I'd really like a water park to be built in my city so I can go and play there as an adult.

Errors: repetition 'a water a water park' should be a single phrase. 'I'd really like to add a water park' is awkward when referring to wanting one built; use 'I'd really like a water park to be built' or 'I'd really like a water park'. Remove 'now' because 'as an adult' already indicates present/future. Maintain modal 'I'd like' with correct object and infinitive structure.