Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar/tenses. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler sounds and repetition, and use one or two specific supporting details with past tense consistency. Limit to 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often played there with my neighbors and friends, especially on weekends when we raced on the playground and fed the ducks, which are memories I still cherish.

提案: Keep answers natural and precise. Use smoother linking words and avoid redundant phrases (e.g., "there" repeated). Mention one or two specific activities to support your statement, and keep to 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I like sitting by the lake to enjoy the scenery and do short meditation sessions so I can unwind after a long day at work.

提案: Correct pronunciation and grammar and be specific. Avoid repetition and typos ("bark" -> "parks"). Provide a reason and one concrete example of benefit, using a linking word for coherence.

例: Yes, I would. For example, adding more parks with playgrounds and benches would give families and office workers nearby a place to relax and exercise after work.

提案: Be confident and accurate. Avoid fillers and repetition; use correct name (Central Park) and give specific reasons why you'd like to visit, with one or two supporting details. Keep it to 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I'd love to visit Central Park in New York. It looks huge and full of activities like boating, concerts and walking trails, and I want to experience these attractions in person rather than only seeing them in films.

× I still remember the time that we have fun in the park together.

✓ I still remember the time when we had fun in the park together.

The sentence refers to a past event, so the present tense 'have' is incorrect. Use the past tense 'had' to match the past reference. Also replace 'that' with 'when' to refer to a time. Suggestion: use past simple for completed past actions (we had fun).

× Nowadays I still love going to the park because I can enjoy the scenery there and I can take a deep breath over there into my meditations and try to unwind after a long day at work.

✓ Nowadays I still love going to the park because I can enjoy the scenery there, take deep breaths during my meditation, and try to unwind after a long day at work.

There are tense and phrasing issues: 'take a deep breath over there into my meditations' is awkward and mixes singular/plural and preposition use. Use present simple for habitual actions ('I can enjoy', 'take', 'try') and plural 'breaths' or 'a deep breath' consistently. 'During my meditation' is clearer than 'into my meditations'. Also combine verbs in a parallel structure. Suggestion: keep present simple and parallel verb forms for routines.

× Yes, I would definitely think that we should have some more bark in my my city because we should create the playground for children and the people in the city so they can enjoy after their days at work.

✓ Yes, I definitely think that we should have more parks in my city because we should create playgrounds for children and for people in the city so they can enjoy themselves after their days at work.

Multiple issues: 'bark' is a misspelling of 'park' and 'some more' with 'bark' is wrong; also singular/plural mismatch: 'park' vs 'parks' and 'the playground' should be plural 'playgrounds' or 'a playground'. Use 'more parks' when suggesting additional facilities. Add 'themselves' after 'enjoy' for completeness and remove duplicate 'my'. Suggestion: use correct spelling 'park(s)', match singular/plural consistently, and include reflexive pronoun when needed.

× Yes, I would like to go to the park in the New York City.

✓ Yes, I would like to go to the park in New York City.

The phrase 'the New York City' incorrectly uses the definite article 'the' before a proper place name. Use 'New York City' without 'the'. Also 'the park in New York City' is acceptable; no extra article is needed before the city name. Suggestion: omit 'the' before most city names.

× I think the name is Central Park something, but umm, the park there is really, uh, big and there's a lot of activities over there and I, I often see that on the movies.

✓ I think it's called Central Park, but the park there is really big and there are a lot of activities, and I often see it in movies.

Several structure issues: 'the name is Central Park something' is informal and unclear—use 'it's called Central Park'. 'There's a lot of activities' is subject-verb agreement and quantifier error: use 'there are a lot of activities'. 'I often see that on the movies' uses wrong demonstrative and preposition: use 'I often see it in movies'. Also remove filler words and repetition. Suggestion: use clear noun references ('it') and correct 'there are' with plural nouns.

× So I really enjoy seeing seeing that part in the future.

✓ So I would really enjoy seeing that place in the future.

Redundant repetition 'seeing seeing' is an error; also 'that part' is incorrect referent—use 'that place' or 'it'. The sentence refers to a future desire so 'would enjoy' is more natural than present 'enjoy' for a future intention. Use the present participle 'seeing' only once. Suggestion: avoid repetition and choose correct referent noun; match modality for future desire ('would').