Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct tense and number agreement. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details with correct grammar. Avoid repeating words (e.g., 'parks' twice) and ensure plural/singular forms and past tense are used consistently.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often played badminton and football with my friends there, and we would spend entire afternoons running and laughing together.

提案: Provide a single clear topic sentence explaining your current preference, then give one or two specific reasons using correct grammar and linking words. Avoid short fragmented answers and fix word order (e.g., 'I need doing').

例: Not really; I rarely go to parks now because I'm very busy. After classes I have a lot of homework and I also work part-time, so I usually don't have time to visit a park.

提案: Answer directly and use clear, relevant reasons. Correct vocabulary and sentence structure are needed (e.g., 'I have a kite on the dog' is unclear). Use linking words like 'because' and give a coherent explanation about who/what motivates you to want more parks.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because I have a dog and we need safe green spaces for regular walks and exercise. More parks would make it easier for neighbors to enjoy outdoor activities.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence naming the park, then add a specific reason and a concise plan. Fix grammar (e.g., 'Banff National Park', 'the scenery is beautiful') and avoid unnecessary exact dates unless natural to mention.

例: Yes, I would love to visit Banff National Park because I've heard the scenery is beautiful with mountains and lakes. I plan to go there in September 2026 to enjoy hiking and photography.

× I really like going to the parks.

✓ I really liked going to parks.

The student is describing a past habit ('as a child') so tense should be past. Also 'the parks' is unnecessary; plural countable nouns in general statements about parks use no article. Use past tense 'liked' and 'parks' without 'the' to sound natural.

× I played badminton or soccer with my friend.

✓ I played badminton or soccer with my friends.

If the student means playing with more than one friend, use the plural 'friends'. If they meant a single friend, keep 'my friend'. Context implies multiple playmates as a child, so adjust to plural. Ensure subject-verb agreement remains correct.

× Not quite. I don't like going to parks. No because I'm very busy every single day.

✓ Not really. I don't like going to parks because I'm very busy every single day.

Combine the sentences to remove the disfluent 'No because' and use 'Not really' as a natural answer. 'Going to parks' is fine without 'the'. Removing the standalone 'No' fixes sentence structure errors and improves cohesion.

× My homework and my I need doing part time job when I finish the class.

✓ I need to do my homework and a part-time job when I finish class.

The original sentence has word order and auxiliary errors. Use the infinitive 'to do' for planned activities ('need to do'), place objects after the verb, hyphenate 'part-time' as an adjective, and use 'finish class' (no article) or 'finish my classes' depending on meaning.

× Uh yes, I like to see more parks in my city because I have a kite on the dog.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because I have a dog and a kite.

'I have a kite on the dog' is an incorrect and confusing pronoun/preposition use. Likely the student means they own a dog and a kite. Reorder to 'I have a dog and a kite' for clear possession. Also 'like to see' -> 'would like to see' fits the question politely.

× I need a go outside with him.

✓ I need to go outside with him.

Use the infinitive 'to go' after 'need'. Remove the extra article 'a'. 'Outside' is an adverb here, so 'go outside' is correct. This fixes verb + infinitive structure.

× Yeah, I really want to go Banff National Parks because I heard that the scenery is very is pretty good and I plan to go there in 2026. September 12th.

✓ Yeah, I really want to go to Banff National Park because I heard that the scenery is very pretty and I plan to go there on September 12, 2026.

Use the correct name 'Banff National Park' (singular). Add preposition 'to' after 'go'. Remove duplicate 'is' and use 'very pretty' (adjective). For dates use 'on' before a specific day and place the day before the year in this format; include commas appropriately and write the year after the date.