Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 在回答中要更直接且语句更完整，尽量减少口头禅（如 uh, umm）并使用清晰的时态和连词。可先给出主题句，然后用1-2个具体细节支持（如谁、什么时候、做了什么、为什么喜欢），控制在最多5句内。

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often rode my bike there with my best friends on weekend afternoons, and we would race, play games and have picnics. Those outings were fun because they helped me feel free and active.

提案: 回答要更简洁自然，使用正确的时态和更地道的表达来说明频率和原因。避免重复和多余填充词，并用连接词（for example, because）让句子更连贯。

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. As a high school student, I often visit a nearby park when I need a break from studying because walking there helps me relieve stress and recharge.

提案: 回答要具体说明原因並给出例子或影响，避免语法错误（如 'serves as a plan'）和口头禅。用一到两句说明为什么需要更多公园及其具体好处。

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide green spaces where people can relax and exercise. For instance, more parks would give neighbourhoods places for children to play and for adults to unwind after work.

提案: 回答时先明确要去哪个公园并简短说明原因，提供具体细节（如雕塑的特点、想拍照的原因或计划如何游玩）。减少重复和口头禅，保持自然流畅。

例: Yes, I want to visit the Riverside Park in my city. It has a famous modern sculpture that I’d love to photograph with my friends, and we also plan to have a small picnic and explore the walking trails together.

× I always ride my bike to the park umm, the reason why I like going the park is was I can umm ride my bike uh with my besties uh, I like.

✓ I always rode my bike to the park. The reason why I liked going to the park was that I could ride my bike with my besties.

原句中時態混亂：題目問兒時（過去），所以動詞應使用過去式（ride → rode，like → liked）。此外原句中有多處多餘或錯誤片語（"going the park" 應為 "going to the park"；"is was" 多餘且錯誤），以及從句連接需要使用 "was that" 來引出原因。建議在敘述過去習慣時統一使用過去式，並注意介詞“to”的使用和從句連接詞。

× Yes, I do uh, as a Senior High School student, uh, when I feel bored with my studies and works, umm, I will go to the park to uh, relieve my stress and wish to uh, improve my energy.

✓ Yes, I do. As a senior high school student, when I feel bored with my studies and work, I go to the park to relieve my stress and restore my energy.

原句時態與語態不一致：回答是現在習慣應用一般現在時（"I will go" 改為 "I go"），因為描述經常性行為。"works" 用法不當，應為不可數名詞 "work" 表示學業或工作。"wish to improve my energy" 不自然，改為常用表達 "restore my energy" 或 "recharge myself"。建議用一般現在時描述習慣，並使用合適的不可數名詞和常見搭配。

× Uh, yes I do, uh, because I think park serves as a plan for, to, uh, relieve our stress for people and it improves a level of, uh, energy, umm, by going to parks, I can.

✓ Yes, I do, because I think parks serve as a place to relieve people's stress and improve their energy levels; by going to parks, I can do that.

原句中冠詞和名詞搭配錯誤："park serves" 應用複數或加冠詞（此處泛指公園，應用複數 "parks"）；"plan" 應為 "place"；"for people" 的位置和所有格更自然為 "people's stress"；"a level of energy" 應為複數搭配 "energy levels"。此外句子結構不完整（末尾 "I can" 沒有接動詞）。建議使用正確名詞（place）、注意冠詞和單複數一致，以及補全句子。

× Uh, yes. Uh, I want to go to the reaming park in my city. The reaming park has a sculpture which I really want to photograph with my friends. Uh, you know, uh, that is uh, uh, good experience, uh, playing with friends.

✓ Yes. I want to go to the remaining park in my city. The remaining park has a sculpture which I really want to photograph with my friends. That would be a good experience to play with friends.

原句中單詞拼寫錯誤（"reaming" 應為 "remaining"）。此外表達未必為純未來時，但欲表示將來希望或計劃可用一般現在或情態助動詞（此處保持簡單陳述）。句子末尾語序與結構不自然，建議改為 "That would be a good experience" 或 "It would be a great experience to play with friends"，以使表達完整且合乎語法。