Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar (tense and article use), clarity and coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence, use past tense consistently, and give one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Keep it concise (max 4–5 short sentences).

例: Yes. I loved going to parks when I was a child. For example, when I was seven I visited a small park in Paraguay where I spent hours on the swings with my mother. It was exciting because we often ate ice cream there and I made many friends.

提案: Use present simple for habitual actions and correct verb forms. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then add specific supporting details connected with linking words (e.g., because, so). Avoid run-on sentences.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I live in Toronto, and because there are many parks nearby I walk through them almost every evening. They are lively at night and help me relax after work.

提案: Answer directly, then give a clear reason and a specific example using linking words. Fix pronoun and modal usage. Keep sentences grammatical and concise.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city. Toronto is very large, and more parks would provide green spaces for communities. For instance, last Monday I enjoyed a park festival, which showed how useful parks are for local events.

提案: Be specific about which park or city and use future forms correctly. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give concrete details (when, where, why). Avoid incomplete sentences.

例: Yes, I plan to visit parks in Los Angeles next month. For example, I want to see Griffith Park because I have heard it has great hiking trails and city views. I am excited to explore its paths and visit the observatory.

× Yes, I like go to the Paraguay's child to be specific, when I was a seven years old.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks in Paraguay when I was seven years old.

The student mixed present and past tenses and used incorrect verb forms and articles. 'Like' should be past 'liked' because the time frame is 'when I was seven years old.' Use the gerund 'going' after a verb of liking. 'The Paraguay's child' is ungrammatical; likely intended 'parks in Paraguay' or 'a park in Paraguay.' 'A seven years old' should be 'seven years old' without article and without plural 'years' after 'a.' Suggestion: use past tense for past habits and correct noun phrase order: 'parks in Paraguay' and 'when I was seven.'

× I like swings with my mom and I'm really interested in.

✓ I liked swinging on swings with my mom and I was really interested in them.

Preposition and verb form errors: 'like swings with my mom' should be 'liked swinging on swings with my mom' to show past habit and correct use of 'swinging on.' The phrase 'I'm really interested in' is incomplete; it needs an object (in them) and tense consistent with past ('I was really interested in them'). Suggestion: include the object and match tense: 'I was really interested in them.'

× For sure I still like got to the park now I live in Toronto there are so many park in the city and I walk on the street through at night alive that park every day.

✓ For sure I still like going to the park. Now I live in Toronto; there are so many parks in the city and I walk through the park at night almost every day.

Multiple tense and noun number errors: use the gerund 'going' after 'like' for habitual action. 'Got' is wrong here. 'Park' should be plural 'parks' when referring to many. Word order 'walk on the street through at night alive that park every day' is ungrammatical; correct phrasing is 'I walk through the park at night almost every day' or 'I walk in the park at night nearly every day.' Suggestion: split into two sentences for clarity and ensure plural and gerund forms are used correctly.

× I like to see more parks in my city.

✓ I would like to see more parks in my city.

Modal verb choice: the original 'I like to see more parks' is grammatical but not appropriate to express a desire; 'would like' is more natural for wishes. According to the allowed problem list, adjust to present participle/modal usage for politeness: 'would like' + infinitive. Suggestion: use 'would like' to express preference or desire.

× I live in Toronto, this is a big city and to be precise, I probably we have a lot of festival in the park and last Monday I enjoyed the park festival.

✓ I live in Toronto; it is a big city. To be precise, we probably have a lot of festivals in the parks, and last Monday I enjoyed a park festival.

Pronoun and agreement errors: 'this is a big city' should use 'it' to refer to Toronto. 'I probably we have' mixes pronouns; choose 'we' or 'I'—'we probably have' is natural for general statements about the city. 'A lot of festival' should be plural 'festivals' and 'in the park' should be plural or specify which park: 'in the parks.' 'Last Monday I enjoyed the park festival' needs an article 'a' before 'park festival.' Suggestion: maintain consistent pronouns and correct pluralization and articles.

× Yes, I really want to go to in the future and I have a plan in the future, maybe later a month.

✓ Yes, I really want to go in the future and I have a plan to go maybe in a month.

Redundant phrases 'in the future' repeated and incorrect preposition 'later a month.' Use 'in a month' to indicate time. Also 'go to in the future' is missing an object; if referring to a place say 'go there' or 'go to Los Angeles.' Suggestion: remove repetition and use correct time expression 'in a month.'

× I will go to the LA and I am really.

✓ I will go to LA and I am really excited about it.

Sentence is incomplete: 'I am really' lacks a complement (adjective or clause). Also 'the LA' is incorrect article usage; use 'LA' or 'Los Angeles' without 'the.' Suggestion: complete the sentence with an emotion or reason, e.g., 'I am really excited about it.'