Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Reduce hesitations and repeated words to sound more natural.

例: Yes — I loved going to the park as a child. It was right next to my home, so my friends and I often rode bicycles there and spent afternoons walking, playing games and chatting.

提案: Avoid vague phrases and filler words. Give a clear reason and one concrete example of what you do there. Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, because, so, and).

例: Yes, I still love going to parks because walking there relaxes me and clears my mind. For example, I often go in the evenings to walk slowly and listen to birds, which helps me de-stress.

提案: Be direct about your opinion and organize your answer. Use linking words (however, although, especially) and avoid repetition. Specify why more parks would be beneficial and when you usually visit them.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in the city because they provide green space and places to meet friends. I try to visit many parks in Seoul, especially in spring and autumn when the weather and scenery are nicest.

提案: Mention a specific park and give concrete reasons, but avoid repeating words. Use past and future tenses correctly: say you want to go back in the future. Add a linking word to connect reasons.

例: One park I want to visit again is Central Park in New York because it has interesting monuments, lakes and even a zoo. I could easily spend a whole day there, so I hope to go back on my next trip to the city.

× Yes, I live, uh, live by a park and I enjoy visiting the park with my friends and I enjoy riding a bicycle, riding, strolling, talking and just walking around.

✓ Yes, I lived, uh, by a park, and I enjoyed visiting the park with my friends; I enjoyed riding a bicycle, strolling, talking, and just walking around.

This sentence refers to childhood (past time), so verbs should be in the past tense (lived, enjoyed). Also remove repeated words and use parallel structure for the list of activities to improve clarity. Suggestion: decide the time frame (past) and apply past tense consistently, and list activities in the same grammatical form. Grammar problem type ID:5

× Yes, I love going to parks these days. Umm visiting park makes me feel relieved and just walking empties my mind and the brain. So I love enjoying visiting parks.

✓ Yes, I love going to parks these days. Visiting a park makes me feel relieved, and walking clears my mind. So I enjoy visiting parks.

Use present simple for habitual present (love, makes). Insert the indefinite article 'a' before 'park'. 'Empties my mind and the brain' is awkward; use 'clears my mind'. Avoid redundant verbs ('love enjoying visiting'); use 'enjoy' or 'love' with 'visiting'. Suggestion: use consistent present tense for current habits, include necessary articles, and choose a concise verb phrase. Grammar problem type ID:6

× Yeah, I love to, I know there are lots of great parts in Seoul, uh, but like small and large and I try to visit as much, as as many as parks with my friends, uh, especially spring and when, uh, fall.

✓ Yeah, I love to. I know there are lots of great parks in Seoul, both small and large, and I try to visit as many parks as possible with my friends, especially in spring and fall.

Use 'parks' not 'parts'. Correct word order: 'as many parks as possible' instead of 'as much...as as many as parks'. Add preposition 'in' before seasons ('in spring and fall'). Ensure parallel structure and correct quantifier usage ('many' for countable nouns). Suggestion: use correct nouns, appropriate quantifiers for countable nouns, and include prepositions for time expressions. Grammar problem type ID:11

× One of my favorite parts in the world is a Central Park in New York. I love the the the park because there's lots of great monuments and lakes and zoo, so I can spend the whole day in Central Park. So I really loved going back there.

✓ One of my favorite places in the world is Central Park in New York. I love the park because there are lots of great monuments, lakes, and a zoo, so I can spend the whole day there. I would really love to go back there.

Use 'places' instead of 'parts'. When mentioning a proper name like 'Central Park', do not use the indefinite article 'a'. Use 'the park' when referring back to it. Use 'there are' for plural items (monuments, lakes) and add the article 'a' before 'zoo'. Use consistent tense: since speaking about future desire to return, use 'I would really love to go back' or present 'I really want to go back' rather than past 'loved'. Suggestion: correct noun choice, use articles correctly with proper nouns and singular countable nouns, use 'there are' for plural lists, and keep tense consistent with intended meaning. Grammar problem type ID:22