Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar (verb forms and articles), make the response more concise and natural, and follow basic structure: a clear topic sentence then one supporting detail. Avoid repeating time phrases.

例: No, I didn't like going to parks as a child because my parents didn't allow me to go out much. However, now I enjoy visiting parks.

提案: Make one clear topic sentence stating you still like parks, then give one or two specific reasons. Use correct collocations (e.g., "refresh my mind", "improve my focus"), and avoid vague claims like "accelerate the performances in any field." Keep sentences short and use linking words like "because" or "so".

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they refresh my mind and help me concentrate better. For example, I walk there twice a week in my hometown to clear my head and exercise.

提案: Start with a direct answer and then give one clear, specific reason. Fix grammar (tense, prepositions) and avoid unnecessary repetition. Mention one example briefly and link it to your opinion using words like "for example" or "because."

例: Absolutely — I would like to see more parks because they provide green space for exercise and relaxation. For example, I recently visited our National Park and appreciated the walking paths and picnic areas.

提案: Give a clear, concise statement about where you want to go and one or two specific reasons. Correct phrasing (e.g., "outside my state", "experience the nature of other states"). Use linking words like "because" and avoid repeating phrases.

例: Yes, I would like to visit parks outside my state because I want to experience different landscapes and see how parks look in winter. For instance, I hope to visit a northern park to see snow-covered trees and frozen lakes.

× When I was child, I did not like to go to parks because during my childhood I was not have permission to go outside from my home.

✓ When I was a child, I did not like to go to parks because during my childhood I did not have permission to go outside my home.

Missing indefinite article 'a' before 'child' (singular count noun). Also 'was not have' is incorrect verb combination; use simple past 'did not have'. Remove unnecessary preposition 'from' after 'outside'. Suggestion: use 'a child' and form negatives with 'did not' + base verb.

× But currently I like to visit parks.

✓ But currently I like visiting parks.

Preference verbs often use the -ing form to express general liking for activities. 'Like to visit' is not incorrect but 'like visiting' is more natural in this context. Ensure consistency with 'currently'.

× Currently I like going to parks because it makes refresh and active mind and accelerate the performances in any field and I like to visit parks area and sometimes twice a week I visit park which is situated in my hometown.

✓ Currently I like going to parks because they refresh and activate the mind and can improve performance in many areas, and I sometimes visit the park in my hometown twice a week.

Subject-verb agreement and word choice issues: 'it makes refresh and active mind' is ungrammatical; 'parks' (plural) require 'they'. Use verbs 'refresh' and 'activate' and nouns 'mind' or 'the mind'. 'Accelerate the performances' is awkward; use 'improve performance'. 'Visit parks area' is incorrect; use 'visit the park' or 'park area'. Rearrange phrase order for clarity and place adverb 'twice a week' in natural position.

× I like to visit parks area and sometimes twice a week I visit park which is situated in my hometown.

✓ I like to visit park areas, and sometimes twice a week I visit the park that is situated in my hometown.

Pluralization and article use: 'parks area' should be 'park areas' or 'parks' and 'visit park' requires 'the park' or 'a park'. Use relative clause 'that is situated' or 'which is situated' with proper article. Place 'twice a week' beside the verb for natural word order.

× Absolutely. I would like to see more parks in my city and I often visit parks which is located in near my hometown in my city and I'll recently visited the National Park of my city and I had a lot of experience about it.

✓ Absolutely. I would like to see more parks in my city. I often visit parks that are located near my hometown, and I recently visited the National Park of my city; I had a great experience there.

Mixed tense and modal issues: 'which is located in near my hometown' has wrong preposition and singular/plural mismatch; use 'parks that are located near'. 'I'll recently visited' incorrectly mixes future 'I'll' with past 'visited'; use 'I recently visited'. 'Had a lot of experience about it' is unnatural; say 'had a great experience there'. Also split long sentence for clarity.

× Are there any parks you want to go to in the future?

✓ Are there any parks you want to go to in the future?

This sentence is correct; no preposition error. No change needed.

× I want to go to the park which is treated in the outside of my state in the future because I wish to have experience about the nature of other States and how others parks look like and the and in winter season how the other state parks look.

✓ I want to go to a park outside my state in the future because I want to experience the nature of other states and see what their parks look like, including how parks look in winter.

Several errors: 'which is treated in the outside of my state' is incorrect preposition and wording—use 'a park outside my state'. 'Wish to have experience about' should be 'want to experience'. 'Other States' should be lowercase 'states'. 'How others parks look like' is ungrammatical; use 'what their parks look like' (do not use 'look like' after 'how'). Remove repeated 'and the and'. Rephrase for natural future intention; 'want' expresses future desire, or use 'would like to'.