Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 답변을 더 자연스럽고 정확한 문장으로 바꾸세요. 중복된 단어(예: "I I")와 어색한 표현(예: "played a book football")을 고치고, 주제문으로 시작해 구체적인 활동과 빈도 또는 감정으로 세부 정보를 추가하세요. 연결어를 사용해 문장이 매끄럽게 흐르도록 하세요.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks with my friends when I was a child. After school we often played football and other games there, and we usually stayed until it got dark because it was so much fun. Those afternoons were memorable because we could run around freely and laugh together.

提案: 단어 선택과 문장구조를 정확히 하세요("store"는 잘못된 단어). 시제와 전치사도 주의하고, 주제문 뒤에 언제, 누구와, 어떤 활동을 하는지 구체적으로 덧붙이세요. 연결어(예: "because", "so", "and")를 적절히 사용해 논리적 흐름을 만드세요.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they are relaxing. I usually meet my friends every weekend morning and we sit by the pond, chat, and drink coffee while enjoying the fresh air.

提案: 문장을 완성하고 어순을 바로잡으세요. 단수·복수 형태(예: "child" → "children")와 전치사를 고쳐 의미를 명확히 하며, 이유를 제시할 때는 완결된 문장을 사용하세요. 또한 질문에 직접적으로 답한 뒤 구체적인 이유나 예를 덧붙이세요.

例: Yes, I would. For example, there is a dog park in front of my house and I often hear children laughing there, so I think more parks would make the city friendlier and give people more places to relax.

提案: 문장을 더 자연스럽게 고치고 불필요한 반복을 제거하세요. 가고 싶은 공원의 특징(예: 조용함, 안전, 경치)을 구체적으로 제시하고 이유를 덧붙이세요. 연결어로 아이디어를 명료하게 연결하세요.

例: Yes, I would like to visit parks that are peaceful and safe in the future because I enjoy quiet places where I can relax and maybe read a book or take a nap. A park with plenty of trees and benches would be perfect.

× When I was a child I liked going to the parks with my friends.

✓ When I was a child, I liked going to the park with my friends.

'Park' should be singular here because the speaker refers to parks in general as a type of place they visited; English often uses the singular 'the park' or plural without article for general activities. Use a comma after the introductory clause.

× After school I I went to the parks with my friends and I played a book football, which was very fun.

✓ After school I went to the park with my friends and we played book football, which was a lot of fun.

Duplicate 'I' removed. 'Parks' changed to singular 'park' for general habitual past action. Use 'we played' because it was a group activity. 'Book football' is retained as a noun phrase; add 'a lot of' to sound natural and replace 'very fun' with 'a lot of fun.'

× Yes, I usually store in the park with my friends because it's relaxing.

✓ Yes, I usually sit in the park with my friends because it's relaxing.

'Store' is incorrect verb; likely intended 'sit' or 'spend time.' Use present simple 'sit' for habitual action. 'In the park' is correct preposition.

× I meet my friends every weekend morning and we talked a lot sitting on the pond.

✓ I meet my friends every weekend morning and we talk a lot sitting by the pond.

Maintain present tense 'meet' and 'talk' for habitual actions. 'Talked' was past tense—changed to 'talk.' 'Sitting on the pond' is incorrect; people sit by the pond.

× Yes, dog park is located at in front in front of my house I can hear a laughing voice of child of children, so I.

✓ Yes, the dog park is located in front of my house; I can hear children laughing there.

Add definite article 'the' before 'dog park.' Fix preposition to 'in front of.' Remove repetition and restructure sentence. Use 'children' (plural) and the gerund 'laughing' to describe the sound. End sentence properly.

× Yes, I would like to go parks where people sleep peacefully and safely because I love peaceful and relaxed places, so I want to go there.

✓ Yes, I would like to go to parks where people can rest peacefully and safely because I love peaceful, relaxing places.

Add 'to' after 'go.' Use plural 'parks' is acceptable but add modal 'can' for ability/possibility. 'Sleep' changed to 'rest' for natural collocation in parks. Use adjective 'relaxing' instead of 'relaxed.' Removed redundant 'so I want to go there.'