Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答要更直接並且語句更流暢：先給出主題句，然後用一到兩個簡短具體的細節支持。注意時態一致、單複數和詞彙搭配（例如 “play the equipment” 應為 “play on the equipment”）。避免多餘重複（如 “in my mind, my memory”）。可以用連接詞如 “because” 或 “and” 簡潔連接句子。

例: Yes, I loved going to the park as a child because it was very close to my home. I often went there with my friends to chat and play on the swings and slides, and those afternoons are among my most memorable childhood moments.

提案: 回答要更精簡並改進用詞與連接：先用一個清晰的主題句說明仍然喜歡，然後用一兩個具體原因支持。避免冗長、重複的表述（如 “calm down myself to relax myself”）。使用更自然的動詞短語如 “relax” 和 “clear my mind”。

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they are peaceful and help me relax. When I walk there I can clear my mind and sometimes think through problems more calmly.

提案: 回答需更有條理並避免語法錯誤：先直接回答，接著給出兩三個具體理由（如 健康、社區空間、環境改善）。注意冠詞和單複數（“the park have” 應為 “parks have”），避免句子不完整或結尾突然中斷。使用連接詞如 “for example” 或 “such as”。

例: Yes, I would. Even though Shanghai already has many parks, more green spaces would benefit communities. For example, parks improve air quality, provide places for exercise, and offer quiet spots for people to relax.

提案: 回答要更具體並糾正地名與措辭：先說明想去哪些公園，然後給出一兩個具體原因（例如 特殊景觀或設施）。注意地名和冠詞（應為 “Century Park” 或 “Shanghai's Century Park”），避免模糊或重複表達。

例: Yes, I would love to visit Century Park in Shanghai because it is the city's largest park. I want to see its varied gardens and walk among the many different trees and flowers it offers.

× Yes, I did, because at that time and the park is very close to my home, so I always go there with my friends to chat with each other and play the equipments there.

✓ Yes, I did, because at that time the park was very close to my home, so I always went there with my friends to chat and play the equipment there.

句子描述过去的经历，应使用过去时。原句中混用了现在时（is, go）和过去时（did）。把 is 改为 was，把 go 改为 went；equipment 是不可数名词，不加复数形式。建议将动词时态统一为过去时并使用不可数名词。

× And in my mind, my memory, I always think that is my very interesting time and memorable.

✓ And in my memory, I always think that it was a very interesting and memorable time for me.

语序和用词不当。“in my mind, my memory”重复，改为 in my memory。描述过去事件要用过去时（think → thought 或 keep think as past perspective: I always thought / I always remember）。形容词顺序与搭配错误，改为 "very interesting and memorable time" 并加上 for me 更自然。建议用简洁的表达并一致使用过去时。

× Yes, I still like going to park now because when I enter the park, I feel that the environment around me is very quiet and I can calm down myself to umm relax myself or think the think some questions and find better solutions of these kinds of questions so I still.

✓ Yes, I still like going to the park now because when I enter the park, I feel that the environment is very quiet and I can calm down, relax, or think about some questions and find better solutions, so I still do.

谈现在的喜好应使用现在时，原句中有冗余和不规范表达（go to park → go to the park；calm down myself / relax myself 非自然，改为 calm down, relax；think the think some questions 应改为 think about some questions；句尾缺主语谓语，补上 so I still do）。建议注意定冠词用法、代词省略与常用固定搭配。

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because I think that although Shanghai now has many parks there, but I think that it can get the goal of 1 park one community because I think that the park have a lot of benefits, just like silence and.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because although Shanghai now has many parks, I think it can achieve the goal of one park per community because parks have a lot of benefits, such as peace and quiet.

原句存在多处介词和结构问题（in my city 可保留， but 与 although 同用导致冗余，删除 one； there 不必要；get the goal 改为 achieve the goal；1 park one community 应为 one park per community；the park have → parks have，主谓一致； silence 用法不当，改为 peace and quiet）。建议注意介词短语和固定搭配的正确使用以及主谓一致。

× Yes, there are a lot of park I would like to go in the future, just like the Shanghai and Century Park.

✓ Yes, there are a lot of parks I would like to go to in the future, such as Shanghai's Century Park.

park 应为复数 parks；go 后需加介词 to（go to the park）；句子中 "the Shanghai and Century Park" 表达混乱，若指上海的世纪公园应改为 Shanghai's Century Park 或 Century Park in Shanghai。建议注意名词单复数和固定搭配。

× And in my mind I think that is the largest park in Shanghai and there are a lot of different kinds of flowers and trees.

✓ And in my opinion, I think it is the largest park in Shanghai and there are many different kinds of flowers and trees.

时态上此句描述一般事实应使用现在时，但原句中有语序和表达问题（in my mind 用法不自然，改为 in my opinion；think that is → think it is；a lot of different kinds of → many different kinds of 更简洁）。建议使用自然表达并保持主谓一致。