Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise, use correct tense and grammar, and avoid fillers. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct subject-verb agreement and plural forms.

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child. They were fun places where I could meet friends and play games with other children, and I often spent whole afternoons there playing tag or on the swings.

提案: Give a direct, natural response and use correct grammar. Avoid absolute negatives unless true; use linking words to explain reasons. Simplify phrases (e.g., "exam" not "exam test") and correct articles/plurals.

例: Not as much as before, because I am a student now and I need to spend most of my time studying for exams. Consequently, I rarely have time to visit parks during the week.

提案: Good structure and reason. Improve by correcting small grammar errors and adding clearer, specific examples. Use linking words (for example, moreover) and correct noun phrases ("work" → "walk" or "spend time") and article use.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide green space for people to relax and exercise. For example, I often walk in a small park near my home with my white dog, and more parks would make it easier for everyone to enjoy outdoor activities.

提案: Be clear and use correct collocations and sentence forms. Use present conditional or future tense correctly and avoid awkward phrases (e.g., "into a wind from the busy pace" is unclear). Provide specific activities and use linking words to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I'd like to visit a large city park to escape the busy pace of life. I imagine lying on the grass feeling the breeze, watching dogs play, having a picnic and taking a long walk along tree-lined paths.

× Yes, I really like to go to park when I was a child, uh, because it's have a lot of fun to find some friends or play with a new child.

✓ Yes, I really liked going to parks when I was a child because it was a lot of fun to meet friends or play with other children.

Tense consistency and verb form: 'like to go to park when I was a child' mixes present 'like' with past 'when I was a child' so use past 'liked'. Use plural 'parks' (common usage) and gerund 'going'. 'it's have' is ungrammatical; use 'it was' for past. 'find some friends' -> 'meet friends'. 'a new child' -> 'other children' for natural plural reference.

× Absolutely not because I a student now so I need to study and prepare the exam test so I don't have a a lot of time to go to park.

✓ Absolutely not because I am a student now, so I need to study and prepare for exams, and I don't have a lot of time to go to parks.

Missing verb 'am' for present tense 'I am a student now' (present tense issue). Use 'prepare for exams' not 'prepare the exam test'. Remove duplicate 'a a'. Use plural 'parks' or 'the park' for general reference. Add commas and conjunctions to join clauses clearly.

× Well, I would like to see more parks in my city because they give people green space to relax and exercise. For example, I often work in a small park near my home with white dog and having more parks will make it easier for everyone to do that.

✓ Well, I would like to see more parks in my city because they give people green spaces to relax and exercise. For example, I often walk in a small park near my home with my white dog, and having more parks will make it easier for everyone to do that.

Pronoun/word choice and verb form: 'green space' can be plural 'green spaces' when referring generally. 'work in a small park' is incorrect; likely 'walk'. Missing possessive pronoun 'my' before 'white dog'. Use 'walk' (present habitual) not 'work'. Add conjunction 'and' to connect clauses.

× Yes, I'd like to visit a large City Park into a wind from the busy pace of life. I imagine lying on the breeze watching dogs play and maybe have a picnic or talking a long walk along the tree.

✓ Yes, I'd like to visit a large city park to get away from the busy pace of life. I imagine lying in the breeze, watching dogs play, maybe having a picnic, or taking a long walk among the trees.

Several sentence structure and word choice errors: 'into a wind from the busy pace of life' is ungrammatical; use 'to get away from the busy pace of life'. 'lying on the breeze' -> 'lying in the breeze'. Maintain parallel verb forms: 'watching', 'having', 'taking' rather than mixing 'maybe have' and 'talking a long walk'. 'a long walk along the tree' -> 'a long walk among the trees' for natural phrasing.