Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more organized. Start with a direct topic sentence (Yes/No + brief reason), then add one specific supporting detail. Avoid filler sounds and repeated words, and use correct vocabulary (e.g., 'trees' not 'trickies'). Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because they helped my mental health. For example, I enjoyed walking among the trees and listening to birds, which always relaxed me and cleared my mind.

提案: Give a concise direct answer, then add one or two clear supporting details using linking words. Correct grammar for frequency expressions ("twice a month") and avoid repetition.

例: Not regularly, but I visit parks about twice a month. Usually I go with my family and our dog, and we enjoy walking together and letting the dog run in the grass.

提案: Answer directly and support with one clear reason and a specific example. Use correct vocabulary (e.g., 'buildings', 'trees') and clearer phrasing about benefits (air quality, shade, recreation). Remove repeated words.

例: Yes, I would like more parks because many parts of the city are concrete with few trees. For instance, new parks would improve air quality and provide shaded areas for people to relax.

提案: State the park name clearly and give one specific reason why you want to visit. Use correct adjectives (e.g., 'beautiful' instead of 'beach') and avoid hesitations. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I would love to visit Central Park in New York because it is a huge, beautiful green space in the city center. I want to see its lakes and wide paths and experience the lively atmosphere there.

× Yeah, I think the park is very naturally goes for, for help for mental health specifically, umm, it has a lot of trickies and, and it's called my mind when I come to the park.

✓ Yes, I think parks are naturally good for mental health; they have many trees and they calm my mind when I come to a park.

Multiple tense and word-choice problems: 'is very naturally goes for' is ungrammatical—use present simple to state general truth ('parks are naturally good for'). Singular/plural: 'the park' should be 'parks' when speaking generally. 'trickies' is incorrect; likely intended 'trees'. 'it's called my mind' is wrong; use 'they calm my mind' to show effect. Improve by using clear subject-verb structures and correct nouns. Grammar problem type ID:6

× Not regularly, but yes I I visit the park twice just a month. Hmm. I usually go to go to the park with my family with my dog and they really love it.

✓ Not regularly, but I visit the park twice a month. I usually go to the park with my family and our dog; we really enjoy it.

Tense and word order issues: 'twice just a month' is awkward—use 'twice a month'. Remove duplicate 'go to'. Pronoun agreement: 'they really love it' is unclear—use 'we really enjoy it' or 'our dog loves it'. Maintain simple present for habitual actions. Grammar problem type ID:6

× Of course, since there are so many building and and there's no tree in the city, the park is the best way to circulate the air so that the city not affects by the the the glass.

✓ Of course, since there are so many buildings and hardly any trees in the city, parks are the best way to circulate the air so the city is not affected by the glass buildings.

Plural errors: use 'buildings' and 'trees' plural. Article and passive issues: 'the park' should be 'parks' when speaking generally. 'the city not affects by the the the glass' is ungrammatical; use passive 'is not affected by the glass buildings'. Also remove repeated words. This corrects subject-verb agreement and improves clarity. Grammar problem type ID:1

× Umm to be honest, I really want to go to New York to, to enjoy the park. Umm in the centers, I, I think it is called Central Park. It's really, really beach and, and I really want to go.

✓ To be honest, I really want to go to New York to enjoy the parks. In the center, I think it is called Central Park. It's really, really beautiful and I really want to go.

Word choice and tense: 'enjoy the park' is okay but 'parks' fits general desire; keep present simple 'want to go'. 'in the centers' should be 'in the center' or 'downtown'. 'beach' is incorrect word choice—likely 'beautiful'. Replace informal hesitations and correct adjective selection. Grammar problem type ID:6