Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: ปรับโครงสร้างให้ชัดเจน: เริ่มด้วยประโยคตอบตรงๆ เช่น “Yes, I did” แล้วตามด้วยรายละเอียดที่สั้นและเป็นระบบ ใช้คำเชื่อม (for example, such as, and) ลดคำซ้ำและแก้ไวยากรณ์ เช่น tense และคำนามพหูพจน์ นอกจากนี้ควรจำกัดความยาวไม่เกิน 4-5 ประโยคและให้รายละเอียดเฉพาะ เช่น กิจกรรมที่ทำ ความถี่ และใครไปด้วย

例: Yes, I did. I used to go to the park every weekend with my family, where we would have picnics and play ball games. For example, we often played badminton and sometimes tried pickleball. Those visits were a fun way for us to relax and spend time together.

提案: ใช้ tense ให้ถูกต้องและชัดเจน: ควรตอบเป็น present simple หรือ present continuous (I still like going to the park / I usually go for a run). ลบประโยคที่ไม่ชัดเจนและเพิ่มรายละเอียดที่เกี่ยวข้อง เช่น ความถี่และเหตุผล ใช้ลิงก์คำเช่น because, so, and เพื่อให้ลื่นไหล

例: Yes, I still like going to parks. I usually go for a run there two or three times a week because it is peaceful and safe. Many parks here also host community events, such as charity runs, which makes exercising more enjoyable.

提案: แก้ไวยากรณ์และความชัดเจน: เริ่มด้วยประโยคชัดเจน เช่น “Yes, I would” แล้วอธิบายเหตุผลเฉพาะ เช่น สถานที่ออกกำลังกาย พื้นที่สีเขียว และผลประโยชน์ต่อชุมชน ใช้คำเชื่อม (because, therefore, for example) และแก้การใช้คำนามพหูพจน์/เอกพจน์

例: Yes, I would. My neighborhood lacks green spaces, so more parks would improve residents' health and provide places for children to play. For example, a new park could include a playground and jogging paths, which would encourage people to exercise and socialize.

提案: ทำให้คำตอบเป็นระบบและใช้คำที่ถูกต้อง: เริ่มด้วยประโยคตอบตรงๆ เช่น “Yes, I would like to visit [park name]” ตามด้วยรายละเอียดเฉพาะเกี่ยวกับสิ่งที่ดึงดูด เช่น ประวัติศาสตร์ สถาปัตยกรรม หรือบรรยากาศ ใช้คำเชื่อมเพื่ออธิบายเหตุผลและหลีกเลี่ยงคำคลุมเครือ

例: Yes, I would like to visit a famous park in England. I am attracted to its historical monuments and beautiful gardens, which are linked to royal history. For example, I would love to see the old statues and walk through the flower displays because they look like something from a fairy tale.

× I usually go to the park with my families, having picnics, playing balls and just like having fun scrolling down to the park.

✓ I usually went to the park with my family, had picnics, played ball and just enjoyed going to the park.

The speaker is describing past habitual actions, so present tense 'go' and continuous 'having' are incorrect. Also 'families' should be singular 'family' for the household, and 'playing balls' is unnatural; use 'played ball'. Use simple past to match 'When I was young' context. Suggestion: use consistent past tense verbs for past routines (went, had, played, enjoyed).

× Just like having fun scrolling down to the park.

✓ Just enjoyed going to the park.

The phrase 'scrolling down to the park' incorrectly uses 'scrolling' and the preposition 'to'. 'Scroll' relates to screens; for movement use 'going to'. Simplify to 'going to the park' or 'visiting the park'.

× We can do various activities.

✓ We could do various activities.

The student switches tense inconsistently. In the context of childhood routines, use past modal 'could' to express ability in the past. Maintain consistent past narrative. Also 'can' is present tense and breaks cohesion.

× There's like pickleball, badminton, just going to the.

✓ There were activities like pickleball and badminton.

Sentence is incomplete and mixes colloquial filler 'like' with present 'there's'. Use past 'there were' for past description and remove trailing fragment. Complete the list rather than ending abruptly.

× I still loved going to the park.

✓ I still love going to the park.

Question asks about present preference; use present tense 'love' instead of past 'loved'. Keep tense consistent with 'Do you still like going to parks now?'.

× Nowadays I would go to the park just to go have a run. Occasionally.

✓ Nowadays I go to the park just to go for a run occasionally.

Use present simple 'go' for current habits. 'Go have a run' is non-idiomatic; say 'go for a run'. Combine the fragment 'Occasionally' into the sentence for fluency.

× There's one of the activities that is very popular in Thailand is running for bikes or maybe running for gifts.

✓ One very popular activity in Thailand is running events where you can win prizes or bikes.

Original is confused with 'there's' and duplicated 'is'. Rephrase to a clear subject 'One very popular activity...' and the object 'running events' with purpose 'where you can win prizes'. 'Running for gifts' is unclear; 'win prizes' is clearer.

× You can run around the park and get one of significant gifts from occasionally every store such as like glasses or maybe.

✓ You can run around the park and occasionally receive prizes from stalls, such as sunglasses or other small items.

Sentence is awkward and ungrammatical. 'Get one of significant gifts' is incorrect; use 'receive prizes'. 'Every store' should be 'stalls' or 'booths'. Provide concrete examples and complete the list.

× I found that parks is one of the essential places that it should have more in various cities in my zone that I live in doesn't have a lot of parks.

✓ I think parks are essential places, and the area where I live does not have many parks.

Subject-verb agreement and word order errors: 'parks is' should be 'parks are'. The original combines clauses awkwardly; simplify to clear statements. Use 'does not have many parks' rather than 'doesn't have a lot of parks' for formality and clarity.

× So having like park would definitely give benefits to the societies and also just have a healthy way of.

✓ So having parks would definitely benefit communities and promote a healthier lifestyle.

'Having like park' misuses article and singular/plural; use plural 'parks' or 'a park'. 'Give benefits to the societies' is unidiomatic; use 'benefit communities'. Complete the idea 'promote a healthier lifestyle' instead of trailing off.

× There is a park in the future that I was currently drawn to.

✓ There is a park that I am currently drawn to.

Mixes temporal expressions: 'in the future' and 'was currently'. If speaker means presently attracted to a future visit, use present 'am currently drawn to' and remove 'in the future' or clarify: 'a park I want to visit in the future'. Maintain consistent tense and time expressions.

× It's one of the parks that have many historical fig figures and stories behind it.

✓ It's one of the parks that has many historical figures and stories behind it.

Use 'has' to agree with singular 'one' (one of the parks that has). 'fig figures' is incorrect; should be 'historical figures'. Ensure correct noun choice and subject-verb agreement.

× There's like Elizabeth and the Flowers there.

✓ There are figures like Queen Elizabeth and displays of flowers there.

Original is vague and ungrammatical. Clarify that there are figures (statues) and floral displays. Use plural 'there are' for multiple items and specify 'Queen Elizabeth' if intended.

× It just magnificent.

✓ It's just magnificent.

Missing verb 'is' between subject and adjective. Use proper contraction 'It's' or 'It is' before adjective.

× All the places just feel so calculated and feel like a fairy tale.

✓ All the places feel so well-kept and like something out of a fairy tale.

'Calculated' is an odd adjective here; likely meant 'well-kept' or 'carefully designed'. Avoid repeating 'feel'. Use idiomatic expression 'like something out of a fairy tale' for clarity.