Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more specific and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, then add one or two concrete details that explain how parks influenced you. Use a linking word to connect ideas and avoid vague phrases like "developed my personality" without explanation.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because they gave me space to play and make friends. For example, I learned to be more outgoing by joining games with other children, which helped me feel confident in social situations.

提案: Correct grammar and complete your thought. Use a clear subject-verb structure and finish the sentence. Add a brief supporting detail with a linking word to explain why you still go to parks.

例: Yes, I still go to parks with my friends because they are a relaxed place to meet and exercise. For instance, we often walk or play frisbee there, which helps us stay active and talk without distractions.

提案: Fix vocabulary and grammar, and be specific. Use the correct word "parks" instead of "products" and choose clearer phrasing. Give one specific reason and an example showing why more parks are needed, using a linking word to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because current green spaces are limited. For example, many families cannot find safe play areas for their children, so having more parks would provide places for kids to play and for parents to relax.

提案: Be precise about whether Disneyland is a park and explain why you want to visit. Use a linking word to add a specific detail about what appeals to you rather than a general statement like "everyone's dream place."

例: Yes, I would like to visit Disneyland in the future because it combines themed attractions and shows that I enjoy. For example, I want to experience the rides and parades, especially the nighttime fireworks, which look spectacular in videos I've seen.

× Actually, yes, we're still going parks with my friends. We love the.

✓ Actually, yes, we still go to parks with my friends. We love them.

The original uses 'we're still going parks' which is ungrammatical: 'go' is the correct present simple for habitual action; 'going' would need 'to' and a continuous context ('we're still going to parks') but present simple is more natural. Also 'parks' requires the preposition 'to' and the pronoun for 'parks' should be 'them' rather than 'the'. Suggestion: use present simple for repeated actions and include correct preposition and object pronoun. (Grammar problem type ID:6)

× It would be great if we see more products in my city. I think it's not enough for children's and adults who want to take care of their children's.

✓ It would be great if we had more parks in my city. I think there are not enough parks for children and adults who want to take their children to them.

Multiple errors: 'see more products' is wrong word choice; 'parks' is intended. Conditional with 'It would be great if' should use past form 'had' not 'see' (mixed conditional/past-tense requirement). 'It's not enough for children's' is incorrect: use plural noun 'children' without apostrophe and 'are not enough' to match plural. 'Take care of their children's' is incorrect possessive and meaning; use 'take their children to them' or 'look after their children'. Suggestions: use correct noun 'parks', use 'had' after 'would be great if', ensure subject-verb agreement with plural 'parks' and use correct object phrase for taking children to parks. (Grammar problem type ID:26)

× I would like to go to Disneyland in future because it's everyone's dream place.

✓ I would like to go to Disneyland in the future because it's everyone's dream place.

Missing definite article 'the' before 'future' is a common article error when referring to a specific time period. Use 'in the future' for general future reference. The rest of the sentence is fine. (Grammar problem type ID:7)

× Yes, I did like going to parks as a child. I think it developed my personality too.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks as a child. I think it helped develop my personality too.

Using 'did like' is unnecessary emphasis; simple past 'liked' is more natural. Also 'it developed my personality' is grammatically possible but 'helped develop my personality' is clearer and more idiomatic for expressing that the experience contributed to personal growth. Suggest using simple past and a clearer verb phrase. (Grammar problem type ID:26)