Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar and sentence variety: start with a clear topic sentence, use correct verb forms and plural nouns, avoid repetition, and add one specific memory to make the answer more vivid. Keep responses concise (no more than 4–5 sentences).

例: Yes, I loved going to parks almost every day when I was a child. I used to play there until it got dark and often met other kids from my neighborhood. For example, we would play hide-and-seek near the big oak tree, which is one of my favorite childhood memories.

提案: Correct tense consistency and plural forms, and improve coherence with linking words. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then support it with specific reasons and a brief example. Avoid vague phrases like “another ambience” — choose clearer vocabulary.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me relax after a busy day. For instance, I often walk there and watch people walking their dogs or children playing, which helps me unwind and clear my head after work.

提案: Be concise and use clearer linking words to show cause and effect. Correct small grammar issues (articles, plural/singular) and avoid redundancy. Include a specific benefit or suggestion to strengthen the answer.

例: Yes, I would like more parks because we currently have only one, and it becomes overcrowded on weekends. For example, adding a second park in the north of the city would reduce crowds and provide residents with easier access to green space.

提案: Avoid repetition and use past and future forms correctly. Start with a straightforward topic sentence, then add a specific reason or detail about what you want to do there to make the answer more interesting.

例: Yes, I would like to visit Owen Park again because it is the largest park I've ever been to. Next time I hope to explore the lakeside trail and take photos of the gardens, which I didn't have time to do before.

× Yes, I like going parks almost everyday.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks almost every day.

The student mixes present tense with childhood context. Use past tense 'liked' for childhood. Also 'going parks' needs preposition 'to' and 'everyday' (adjective) should be 'every day' (adverbial phrase). Suggestion: use 'liked' + 'going to parks' + 'every day'.

× When I was a child I played until night time.

✓ When I was a child, I played until nighttime.

The sentence refers to the past, so past tense 'played' is correct; add a comma after the subordinate clause for clarity. 'Night time' is usually written as one word 'nighttime' or 'at night'. Suggestion: include comma and use 'nighttime' or 'played until it was dark'.

× I meet a lot.

✓ I met a lot of people.

The speaker refers to childhood, so past tense 'met' is required. Also 'a lot' needs an object; here 'people' completes the meaning. Suggestion: use 'met a lot of people' or 'met many people'.

× I met a lot of child.

✓ I met a lot of children.

Countable noun 'child' must be plural when referring to many. Use 'children' for plural. Also 'a lot of' commonly precedes plural noun. Suggestion: 'I met a lot of children.'

× I had the best.

✓ I had the best time.

The sentence is incomplete; 'the best' requires a noun like 'time' to complete the idea. Suggestion: include the noun: 'I had the best time.'

× I had the best childhood memories at the park.

✓ I have the best childhood memories of the park.

Mix of past tense and present perfect: 'have the best childhood memories' is acceptable because memories persist. Use 'of the park' or 'from the park' rather than 'at the park' to indicate origin of memories. Suggestion: 'I have the best childhood memories of the park.'

× Yes, I still like to go to parks even up until now because I feel like it can relax my mind.

✓ Yes, I still like going to parks even now because I feel that they can relax my mind.

Use present simple for habitual action 'still like going'. 'Even up until now' is redundant; 'even now' is natural. 'Parks' is plural, so refer with 'they' not 'it'. Suggestion: 'I still like going to parks... they can relax my mind.'

× I saw many people there walking with their dogs, child playing in the park.

✓ I see many people there walking with their dogs, and children playing in the park.

Tense consistency: present habit uses 'see' rather than past 'saw'. 'Child' should be plural 'children'. Add conjunction 'and' to link clauses. Suggestion: 'I see many people... and children playing.'

× It's another ambience for me after work.

✓ It's a different atmosphere for me after work.

'Ambience' is a mass noun but 'another ambience' sounds unnatural; 'a different atmosphere' is more idiomatic. Maintain present tense 'is'. Suggestion: use 'a different atmosphere' or 'a change of atmosphere'.

× Yes, I love to see another park in my city because actually we only have one park, so in the weekends it's so crowded.

✓ Yes, I would love to see another park in my city because actually we only have one park, so on weekends it's very crowded.

Use conditional 'would love' for desire. 'In the weekends' is incorrect; use 'on weekends' or 'at the weekends'. 'So crowded' is colloquial; 'very crowded' is more standard. Suggestion: 'I would love to see another park... on weekends it's very crowded.'

× It will be nice to have another park so that the people will be divided and it will not be that crowded anymore.

✓ It would be nice to have another park so that people would be spread out and it would not be so crowded anymore.

Use conditional 'would' to match hypothetical wish. 'The people will be divided' is awkward and slightly incorrect; use 'people would be spread out'. 'That crowded' should be 'so crowded'. Suggestion: use 'would' and more natural phrasing 'spread out'.

× Yes, I like to go to Owen Park again.

✓ Yes, I would like to go to Owen Park again.

Use polite conditional 'would like' to express desire for the future. 'Like to go... again' is acceptable but 'would like' is more natural when talking about future plans. Suggestion: 'I would like to go to Owen Park again.'

× That's the biggest park I've ever been to and I like to, I like to have another experience walking in the park again.

✓ That's the biggest park I've ever been to, and I'd like to have the experience of walking in the park there again.

'I've ever been to' is correct present perfect. Compress repetition 'I like to, I like to' into 'I'd like to'. Use 'the experience of walking in the park there again' for clarity. Suggestion: 'I'd like to walk there again.'