Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your answer consistently in the past tense and give one or two specific details to make it more natural. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then add specific activities and a brief reason using a linking word (for example or because). Avoid repeating phrases.

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child because I liked playing on the swings and riding my bicycle there. For example, I used to meet my friends every Saturday and we would play tag, which helped me relax and forget school stress.

提案: Use fewer fillers and combine short ideas with linking words for coherence. Begin with a clear topic sentence in present tense, then give two specific reasons and an example. Limit to 2–4 sentences and avoid repetition (e.g., 'I can' repeated).

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks nowadays because they are convenient places to meet friends and exercise. For instance, I often go there on Sunday mornings to jog for thirty minutes and then have coffee with a friend, which helps me relax and stay healthy.

提案: Be concise and grammatical: use a clear topic sentence and explain why with specific benefits. Replace vague phrasing about the government with a simple suggestion and a concrete result. Avoid many hesitations and correct grammar (e.g., 'there are only a few parks' and 'people would have the opportunity').

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because there are only a few at the moment. If the local government created more green spaces, people would have more places to exercise and children would have safe areas to play.

提案: Use correct grammar (future intention and location) and be specific about what attracts you. Start with a clear topic sentence (I would like to visit...), then say why with 1–2 specific details and a linking word. Avoid awkward phrasing like 'never been go'.

例: Yes, there is a park I want to visit in the future. It is located in Cox's Bazar and I want to see the seaside gardens and the views I watched in videos, because they look very peaceful and different from the parks near my home.

× Yes I do. I like going to parks as a child because I can play, I can refresh my mind if I go to park.

✓ Yes, I did. I liked going to parks as a child because I could play and refresh my mind when I went to the park.

The sentence refers to a past habit (as a child) so present tense 'do/like' is incorrect. Change to past 'did/liked' and modal 'can' to past 'could'. Use past time clause 'when I went' and include the definite article 'the' before 'park'. Also combine clauses for conciseness.

× Yes, I do. I like, I still like going to parks now, uh, whenever I got free time, that time I try to go to park because I can meet my friends in the park, I can play, I can exercise in the park and uh, I can get some fresh, uh, I can get some fresh air in the park.

✓ Yes, I do. I still like going to parks now. Whenever I have free time, I try to go to the park because I can meet my friends there, play, exercise, and get some fresh air.

Use present tense 'have' for current habitual actions instead of past 'got'. Use the definite article 'the park' for a known place and use 'there' to avoid repetition. Remove filler words and repeat verbs concisely. Correct preposition and article use improves clarity.

× Yes, I'd like to see more parks in my city because there are, uh, a few parks have in my city.

✓ Yes, I'd like to see more parks in my city because there are only a few parks in my city.

The original mixes structures ('there are' + 'have') causing ungrammatical phrasing. Use 'there are only a few parks' as the correct existential structure. Adding 'only' clarifies scarcity.

× And uh, if, uh, government takes any kind of, umm, steps that, uh, they made, uh, some parks, uh, people can get a opportunity to play, an opportunity to exercise.

✓ If the government takes steps to create more parks, people will have the opportunity to play and exercise.

Use the definite article 'the government'. Simplify 'takes any kind of steps' to 'takes steps'. For a likely future result, use 'will have' rather than 'can get a opportunity'. Also use 'an opportunity' -> 'the opportunity' or 'an opportunity' consistently; here 'the opportunity' is replaced by 'the opportunity' tone, but 'have the opportunity' is idiomatic. Remove filler words.

× Yes, there have a park where I want to go to in the future.

✓ Yes, there is a park where I want to go in the future.

Use 'there is' for singular existence, not 'there have'. Also avoid ending with 'to' after 'go' when 'go' already takes the destination: 'go to' is fine but 'go in the future' is smoother here.

× I have some curiosity about this park because this located in the Cox's Bazaar and I never been go there and I see some videos about this park and I want to go there.

✓ I am curious about this park because it is located in Cox's Bazar. I have never been there, but I have seen some videos about it and I want to visit.

Use 'am curious' instead of 'have some curiosity' for natural English. Add the subject 'it' and verb 'is located'. Correct place name to 'Cox's Bazar' (common spelling). Use present perfect 'have never been there' and 'have seen' for past actions with present relevance. 'Been go' is incorrect; use 'been' or 'gone' appropriately. Replace 'see' with 'seen' and 'go there' with 'visit' for clarity.