Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct small grammar errors. Begin with a clear topic sentence, avoid repeating the same idea (grandfather/grandpa), and use one or two supporting details with past-tense consistency. Use linking words like "for example" or "also" to connect details.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, my grandfather often took me there and walked beside me while I rode my red bike, which is one of my happiest childhood memories.

提案: Correct minor word choice errors (e.g., "tour reasons" → "two reasons") and tighten phrasing. Keep answers within 3–4 sentences and use linking words like "first" and "second" properly. Include brief specific examples (time of day, favorite play area) to enrich content.

例: Yes, I still enjoy parks for two reasons. First, my 10-month-old son loves the swings and I enjoy watching him play. Second, my husband and I like to take evening strolls there so we can spend quiet, quality time together.

提案: Improve grammar and fluency: use present tense correctly and avoid fillers ("umm", "so"). Give two clear, specific reasons and link them coherently. For example, mention child-friendly features and variety of environments. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I would like more parks in my city. My son gets bored visiting the same park repeatedly, and new parks would offer different play areas and green spaces with varied atmospheres.

提案: Make the response clearer and grammatically correct. Start with a direct topic sentence, avoid unnecessary hedging (e.g., "to be honest, not really I have any"), and give a brief reason or future prediction with linking words like "but" or "however."

例: Not at the moment — I don't have a specific park on my bucket list. However, I expect that as my son grows he will want to try new parks, and we will likely discover interesting places to visit together.

× I loved going to park when I was a child.

✓ I loved going to the park when I was a child.

The noun 'park' here refers to a specific type of place (parks in general as a category in the past) and English requires the definite article 'the' before 'park' in this context. Suggestion: use 'the park' or plural 'parks' depending on meaning (e.g. 'going to parks').

× My grandfather used to accompany me and I would take my red bike along once we reached the park.

✓ My grandfather used to accompany me, and I would take my red bike along when we reached the park.

The original sentence uses 'once' which is acceptable but slightly awkward; more common is 'when' for habitual past actions. Also add a comma before 'and' for clarity. Suggestion: use 'when' for habitual timing and include proper punctuation.

× My grandpa used to walk beside me while I was riding my bike.

✓ My grandpa used to walk beside me while I rode my bike.

For habitual past actions, the simple past ('I rode') is more natural than past continuous. Suggestion: use simple past for repeated past events.

× That is one of the best memory I had of my childhood.

✓ That is one of the best memories I had from my childhood.

There is a number agreement and preposition issue: 'one of the' must be followed by a plural noun 'memories'. Also 'had of my childhood' is awkward; use 'had from my childhood' or 'from my childhood'. Suggestion: use plural 'memories' and 'from' for origin.

× Yes, I still love going to parks, mainly because of tour reasons.

✓ Yes, I still love going to parks, mainly for tour reasons.

The preposition 'because of' is not idiomatic with 'tour reasons'; 'for' is more natural. Also 'tour reasons' is unusual — consider 'family reasons' or 'because of my family's enjoyment'. Suggestion: use 'for' and consider a clearer phrase.

× Firstly, I have a 10 month old son who really loves swinging at the park and I love to watch him while he's swinging.

✓ Firstly, I have a 10-month-old son who really loves swinging at the park, and I love to watch him while he swings.

Hyphenate '10-month-old' as a compound adjective. Use simple present 'he swings' for habitual action instead of continuous 'he's swinging' in this context. Suggestion: hyphenate age expressions and prefer simple present for habitual actions.

× Secondly, I love to stroll around the park with my husband.

✓ Secondly, I love strolling around the park with my husband.

Both versions are grammatical, but 'love strolling' is more natural than 'love to stroll' in this context. Suggestion: prefer the gerund form for general likes.

× Well definitely yes I would love to see more parks in my city because of my son who recently get bored going to one place again again so and also umm it's it's good to have a different vibe.

✓ Well, definitely yes. I would love to see more parks in my city because my son recently gets bored of going to the same place again and again, and it's good to have a different vibe.

Multiple errors: punctuation and sentence breaks needed; verb agreement 'get' should be 'gets' to match singular 'my son' (third person singular). 'Bored of' is the common phrasing, and 'again and again' needs correct word order. Remove filler 'so and also umm it's it's' and rewrite for clarity. Suggestion: split into sentences, use 'gets bored of', and remove fillers.

× To be honest, not really I have any specific park in my bucket list but I am assuming as my son is growing old he would definitely come up with some parks for us to take him to.

✓ To be honest, not really; I don't have any specific park in my bucket list, but I assume that as my son grows older he will definitely suggest some parks for us to take him to.

Multiple tense and structure issues: 'not really I have' is ungrammatical — use 'I don't have'. 'Growing old' is better as 'grows older'. Use 'will' rather than 'would' for a prediction about the future. 'Come up with' is informal; 'suggest' is clearer. Suggestion: use negative 'don't have', simple present for habitual/ongoing change ('grows older'), and future 'will' for likely future events.

× And yes I'm waiting for that and hopefully I would be interested in some of the park.

✓ And yes, I'm looking forward to that, and hopefully I will be interested in some of the parks.

Use 'looking forward to' for anticipation. For future likelihood use 'will' rather than 'would'. 'Some of the park' needs plural 'parks'. Add commas for clarity. Suggestion: use 'will' for future predictions and pluralize 'parks'.