Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Give a direct topic sentence, avoid repetition, and add one specific detail or brief example. Use correct tense and smoother phrasing. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child. I went almost every day to play on the swings and play football with neighborhood friends, which helped me stay active and make friends.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words, and use correct present tense. Add one specific reason and a linking phrase for coherence.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. For example, I often walk there with a friend to relax and clear my mind after a busy day.

提案: Use accurate grammar and clearer vocabulary (e.g., 'reduce stress'). Provide a concise reason and a specific benefit for different groups to strengthen the answer.

例: Yes, I would. More well-designed parks would give children safe places to play and help residents reduce stress by providing green spaces for exercise and relaxation.

提案: Be specific about which park or type of park you want to visit and correct grammar. Explain briefly why that park appeals to you with one clear reason and a linking word.

例: Yes, I want to visit the large botanical gardens outside the city because their walking paths and quiet ponds help me relax and enjoy nature.

× Yes I did. I like going to the parks when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I did. I liked going to parks when I was a child.

The sentence mixes present tense 'I like' with a past time reference 'when I was a child'. Use the past tense 'liked' to match the past timeframe. Also, 'the parks' is unnatural here; use 'parks' (no article) for general reference.

× Uh, every day I went to the park to play exercise.

✓ Every day I went to the park to exercise.

The phrase 'to play exercise' is incorrect. Use the verb 'exercise' after 'to' to indicate purpose: 'to exercise'. Removing 'play' fixes the verb form and meaning.

× Sometimes I go to the park with my friend especially Oh, I need to.

✓ Sometimes I go to the park with my friend, especially when I need to relax.

The original sentence is fragmented and has misplaced 'Oh, I need to'. Combine ideas and use 'when I need to relax' to clearly express purpose. Also keep 'friend' singular if referring to one friend; add a comma before 'especially'.

× When I need to relax, I'm going to park.

✓ When I need to relax, I go to the park.

'I'm going to park' incorrectly uses present continuous and omits the article. For habitual action use simple present 'I go'. Also include the definite article 'the' before 'park' when referring to a specific place you habitually visit.

× Yes, I'd like to see more park in my city because if my city has a beautiful park it can help children and degrees stress.

✓ Yes, I'd like to see more parks in my city because if my city has beautiful parks, they can help children reduce stress.

Use plural 'parks' after 'more'. 'A beautiful park' should match plural context or be rephrased; here change to 'beautiful parks'. 'It' should be 'they' to match plural. 'Degrees stress' is incorrect; use 'reduce stress' to express the intended meaning.

× Yes, I'd like to go to the parks in the future because parks makes me happy and more happiness and deeply stressed.

✓ Yes, I'd like to go to parks in the future because parks make me happy and reduce my stress.

Use 'parks make' (plural subject with plural verb). Remove 'the' before 'parks' for general reference. 'More happiness and deeply stressed' is unclear and grammatically incorrect; 'make me happy and reduce my stress' conveys the intended meaning clearly.