Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cần nói trực tiếp hơn, sửa ngữ pháp và dùng từ chính xác; rút ngắn câu tránh lặp; thêm chi tiết cụ thể về hoạt động bạn làm lúc nhỏ. Ví dụ: dùng thì quá khứ đơn cho trải nghiệm trong quá khứ, thay 'wins after many hurricane times' bằng cụm phù hợp như 'recover from busy periods' hoặc 'feel refreshed after stressful times'.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often played on the swings and explored the trees with my friends, which helped me relax after busy school days.

提案: Cần dùng cấu trúc câu chính xác, chia động từ đúng (e.g. 'have become' hoặc 'is a regular activity'), tránh tiếng 'uh' và lỗi số nhiều; nêu tần suất cụ thể và hoạt động rõ ràng. Sử dụng liên từ để nối ý mạch lạc.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. It has become a regular activity for me; I go most weekends to relax, reduce stress after work, and play sports such as badminton or volleyball.

提案: Cần diễn đạt rõ ràng lý do muốn nhiều công viên hơn, dùng từ thích hợp (fresh air, peaceful environment) và sửa cấu trúc câu; tránh cụm không rõ nghĩa như 'century run city' — thay bằng 'rapidly urbanizing city'. Thêm liên từ để giải thích lý do và hậu quả ngắn gọn.

例: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because they provide fresh air and peaceful spaces for exercise. However, my city is rapidly urbanizing, so green areas are disappearing and that makes parks even more important.

提案: Nên nói tên công viên chính xác (e.g. 'Khu bảo tồn quốc gia' hoặc cụ thể tên) và dùng thì tương lai đơn ('I would like to visit'). Tránh lỗi từ vựng như 'cooking National Park' nếu không đúng; cung cấp lý do rõ ràng (học về động thực vật, thư giãn) và cấu trúc câu hoàn chỉnh.

例: Yes, I would like to visit the national park in the future. It would be a peaceful place to relax, and I could learn about endangered animals and trees and how to help protect them.

× To be honest, I believe that going to the park in the weekends or in whenever in my free time helps me to refresh and wins after many hurricane times and when so it's provide me a fresh environment.

✓ To be honest, I believe that going to the park on weekends or whenever I have free time helps me to relax and gives me a fresh environment.

The sentence has awkward and incorrect structure: 'in the weekends' should be 'on weekends' (preposition and plural timing), 'in whenever in my free time' is ungrammatical and should be 'whenever I have free time', 'helps me to refresh and wins' mixes verbs and incorrect subject — 'wins' is wrong; use 'helps me to relax' and 'gives me a fresh environment'. Combine clauses clearly and keep subject-verb agreement. Suggestions: use correct prepositions of time, simplify verb choices, and ensure each clause has a clear subject and verb.

× Totally, yes, it says become my regular activities.

✓ Totally, yes, it has become one of my regular activities.

Incorrect verb and tense: 'it says become' is meaningless; the intended meaning is present perfect 'has become' to indicate a past change with present relevance. Also 'activities' should be singular 'one of my regular activities' or 'a regular activity'. Suggestion: use 'has become' and correct noun number.

× I go into the park every weekends or whenever my free time to refresh and, uh, reduce my stress after my, uh, working times or I can go to the there and have been some sport like Badminton's and volleyball there that's so fresh.

✓ I go to the park every weekend or whenever I have free time to relax and reduce my stress after work, and I can play sports there like badminton and volleyball because it feels so refreshing.

Multiple article and noun errors: 'every weekends' should be 'every weekend' (singular with 'every'), 'go into the park' is awkward—use 'go to the park', 'whenever my free time' should be 'whenever I have free time', 'working times' -> 'work', 'go to the there' incorrect article/word order, 'have been some sport' wrong verb form—use 'play sports', 'Badminton's' should be 'badminton' (no apostrophe), and 'that's so fresh' is informal; use 'it feels so refreshing'. Suggestion: simplify and correct time expressions, verb forms, and pluralization.

× Totally, I would say yes, I love refresh their park and I love the atmosphere there is provide me a lot of fresh air and totally freeze environment for me to play in sport.

✓ Totally, I would say yes. I love visiting the parks there because the atmosphere provides a lot of fresh air and a refreshing environment for me to play sports in.

Errors with verbs and articles: 'love refresh their park' is ungrammatical—use 'love visiting the parks there', 'the atmosphere there is provide me' should be 'the atmosphere provides me' (subject-verb agreement), 'totally freeze environment' is wrong—use 'a refreshing environment', 'play in sport' -> 'play sports in'. Suggestion: use correct verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and appropriate nouns.

× But I think my city has become a century run city. So it's it's overwhelming and over urbanization then.

✓ But I think my city has become a rapidly growing city, so it is overwhelming and over-urbanized.

'Century run city' is not an English expression; likely intended 'rapidly growing' or 'a city that has grown over the years'. 'it's it's' duplicate; 'over urbanization' should be 'over-urbanized' or 'experiencing over-urbanization'. Suggestion: choose clear idiomatic phrasing and avoid repetition.

× Also, I would say yes, and this would be the cooking National Park.

✓ Also, I would say yes, and that would be the Khao Yai National Park.

'the cooking National Park' is incorrect—likely a mispronounced name. Replace with the correct proper noun (example Khao Yai) or 'the national park'. Use 'that' instead of 'this' when referring back. Suggestion: use correct place names and demonstratives.

× Is it so fresh and gives me a peaceful atmosphere or so I can learn more about the animals or the trees that's become endangered and learned how to protect them?

✓ It is so peaceful and gives me a calm atmosphere, and I can learn more about animals and trees that have become endangered and learn how to protect them.

Problems with verb forms and clause linking: 'Is it so fresh' is wrong interrogative form—should be declarative 'It is so peaceful'. 'the animals or the trees that's become endangered' has wrong relative pronoun and verb form—use 'trees that have become endangered'. 'learned how to protect them' mixes past and present; use parallel infinitive 'learn how to protect them'. Suggestion: keep consistent tense and correct relative pronouns, use parallel verb forms.