Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response more natural, grammatically correct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb tense and agreement, and limit to around 2–4 sentences. Add a specific detail (a memory or activity) and use linking words for coherence (for example, “and” or “as a result”).

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. My mother often took me there for picnics, and on weekends I would spend hours playing on the swings and sliding down the slides. Those visits were my favorite way to spend time outdoors.

提案: Correct word choice and phrasing, use natural expressions and grammar. Replace “pub” with “park,” use gerunds and correct pronouns, and explain briefly why you go to parks now. Keep it to 1–3 sentences and use a linking word if adding a reason (e.g., “because” or “so”).

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they remind me of my childhood and help me relax. I often take short walks there to feel carefree and nostalgic.

提案: Make the idea clearer and grammatically correct. State the main opinion first, then give a specific reason using linking words like “because” or “so that.” Avoid unclear phrases; explain how more parks would help children. Keep sentences short and precise.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they give children safe places to play and explore. More parks would encourage outdoor activity and improve community life.

提案: Make the response more coherent and fix tense and phrasing. Begin with a clear topic sentence, mention one or two specific parks or types of parks you hope to visit, and explain why. If mentioning children, clarify the idea with linking words like “however” or “because.”

例: Yes, there are several parks I would like to visit in the future, such as large botanical gardens and coastal parks. However, if I am busy, my children will probably visit some of them for me, and I hope to go with them one day.

× Yes, I like going to park.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks.

ID 22: The sentence uses incorrect article 'to park' and mismatches tense. The question asked about childhood, so past tense 'liked' should be used. 'park' needs an article or plural; 'going to parks' or 'going to the park' are correct. Suggestion: use 'going to parks' to match general habit, or 'going to the park' for a specific place.

× When I was a child my mom usually take me there for picnics and during weekend I love playing around the swings and the slides.

✓ When I was a child my mom usually took me there for picnics, and during weekends I loved playing on the swings and the slides.

ID 27: 'take' should be past tense 'took' to agree with past time 'When I was a child'. 'during weekend' needs plural 'weekends' or 'the weekend', and verb 'love' should be past 'loved'. Use 'playing on the swings' rather than 'around the swings' for correct preposition.

× Yes, I like going to pub because I want to feel the old days feelings of me being young and small.

✓ Yes, I like going to the park because I want to feel the feelings of being young and small again.

ID 22: 'going to pub' is missing the article; 'the pub' or 'a pub' would be needed. However context asks about parks, so 'the park' is appropriate. 'the old days feelings of me being young and small' is awkward: use 'the feelings of being young and small again'. Remove unnecessary pronoun 'me'.

× At least get no help the young ones to explore more.

✓ At least they give the young ones more opportunities to explore.

ID 26: Original sentence is ungrammatical and unclear. 'At least get no help' is incorrect structure. Rephrase to 'they give the young ones more opportunities to explore' to express the intended meaning that more parks would help children explore.

× Yeah, there are so many parks I wish I could visit in the future, but I think my kids are going to visit there on my behalf.

✓ Yes, there are so many parks I wish I could visit in the future, but I think my kids will visit them on my behalf.

ID 11: Use 'Yes' for register. 'visit there' is incorrect; use 'visit them' when referring to parks (pronoun object). 'are going to' is acceptable for planned future, but 'will visit them on my behalf' is more natural here. Ensure pronoun agreement: 'them' refers to 'parks' (plural).