Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar, verb forms and clarity. Start with a clear topic sentence, use simple past tense for childhood, and add one or two specific memories linked by a connector. Keep answers concise (max 4–5 sentences).

例: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child. I often played on the swings and climbed trees, which made me feel adventurous. Also, I remember having picnics with my family, so parks were always full of happy moments.

提案: Use correct verb forms and clearer vocabulary. Begin with a topic sentence about current habits, then give specific reasons with linking words (for example, because, and, also). Replace vague phrases like "new dwarf products" with precise words (e.g., playground equipment, sculptures).

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks now because they are well maintained and have good walking paths for jogging. In addition, many parks have new playground equipment and sculptures, which makes a visit more pleasant.

提案: Speak more formally and organize ideas: state your opinion, give two clear reasons with linking words, and end with a suggestion. Correct grammar (plural/singular, word order) and choose accurate words (children, facilities, play areas).

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because we only have one small, poorly maintained park. More parks would provide safe play areas for children and relaxing spaces for adults, so the local government should build at least two or three new parks with picnic areas and playgrounds.

提案: Make the response chronological and grammatically correct. Start by naming the park or place, explain how you learned about it, and state a clear plan. Use linking words (for example, because, so) and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I would like to visit a famous park in Rajasthan that I saw on Instagram. It looked beautiful, so I plan to go there with my family in the future and have a picnic together.

× Yes, of coursely I likes to go to park as a child because when I am was child then I no think about what I am doing there.

✓ Yes, of course I liked going to the park as a child because when I was a child I did not think about what I was doing there.

Errors: 'of coursely' is misspelled and wrong form; 'likes' is third person singular present but the student refers to past — should be 'liked'; 'to go to park' needs article 'the' and gerund 'going' is more natural; 'when I am was child' mixes present and past — use past 'when I was a child'; 'I no think' should be 'I did not think' for past negative; 'what I am doing there' should be 'what I was doing there' to match past tense. Suggestion: Use consistent past tense for childhood memories, use correct spelling 'of course', use articles with singular countable nouns, and use 'did not' + base verb for past negatives.

× What not that's I like to go to park that now child because there are too much funny moments as a child when I go to.

✓ Because of that I liked going to the park when I was a child, as there were so many fun moments.

Errors: Sentence structure unclear; 'that's I like to go to park that now child' is ungrammatical. 'There are too much funny moments' uses 'too much' with a countable noun — use 'so many'; 'funny moments' is better as 'fun moments'; 'when I go to' mixes tenses — use past 'when I was a child' or 'when I went there'. Suggestion: Rephrase to a clear past-tense sentence, use 'so many' for countable plural, and include articles where needed.

× Yes, I still likes to go the park now because now the days parks are well maintained, there are good walking path for running and jogging and there are too much new dwarf products in parks.

✓ Yes, I still like to go to the park now because these days parks are well maintained, there are good walking paths for running and jogging, and there are many new small play structures in parks.

Errors: 'likes' should be 'like' because the subject 'I' takes base verb; missing preposition 'to' after 'go'; 'now the days' should be 'these days'; 'good walking path' should be plural 'walking paths' to match 'good' and 'for running and jogging' is fine; 'too much' with countable noun should be 'many' or 'a lot of'; 'dwarf products' unclear — likely 'small play structures' or 'play equipment'. Suggestion: Use correct verb form with 'I', correct prepositions, use plural for countable nouns, and choose clear vocabulary.

× Yes, I likes to watch the more parkers in my city because there is only one small park in my city that's small parks not good, well maintained or developed.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because there is only one small park here and it is not well maintained or developed.

Errors: 'I likes' should be 'I would like' or 'I like' — 'likes' wrong for 'I'; 'watch the more parkers' is incorrect collocation — use 'see more parks' or 'have more parks'; repetition 'my city' unnecessary; 'that's small parks not good' ungrammatical and article errors. Suggestion: Use 'would like' for politeness when expressing desire, avoid incorrect collocations, and ensure subject-verb agreement.

× That's why I say to the government there should be a more than two or three parks in our city for younger and adults and Childs.

✓ That's why I tell the government there should be at least two or three more parks in our city for children and adults.

Errors: 'I say to the government' is awkward — 'I tell the government' is better; 'there should be a more than two or three parks' incorrect quantifier order — use 'at least two or three more parks' or 'more than two or three' (but 'at least' is clearer); 'younger and adults and Childs' wrong words and pluralization — use 'children and adults'. Suggestion: Use correct quantifiers ('at least', 'more than') and correct plural forms ('children'), and place 'more' after the number if needed.

× There should be a one picnic, special picnic for in.

✓ There should be a special picnic area.

Errors: 'There should be a one picnic, special picnic for in' is ungrammatical; 'one picnic' and 'for in' make no sense. Suggestion: Use a concise noun phrase like 'a special picnic area' or 'a picnic spot' and include appropriate articles.

× Yes, of course there is a park where I want to go to future and while Instagram then I see the famous park that was situated in Rajasthan and my dream comes to the income go there and in my absolutely in my future I will go there with my family and enjoy the picnic.

✓ Yes, of course there is a park I want to visit in the future. While browsing Instagram I saw a famous park located in Rajasthan, and my dream is to go there. In the future I will definitely go there with my family and enjoy a picnic.

Errors: 'there is a park where I want to go to future' mixes tense and word order — use 'I want to visit in the future'; 'while Instagram then I see' should be 'while browsing Instagram I saw' (past) or 'I saw'; 'that was situated in Rajasthan' better as 'located in Rajasthan'; 'my dream comes to the income go there' is nonsensical — likely 'my dream is to go there'; 'in my absolutely in my future' redundant — use 'in the future I will definitely'. Suggestion: Keep tense consistent (past for seeing online, present for current desire, future for planned action), use clear verbs like 'visit' and 'saw', and use correct articles ('a picnic').